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by Chief New Leaf, ©2020

ThomasWolter, Pixabay, License

(Oct. 30, 2020) — “Just the Two of Us” (0:55)

“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ the place to hear it here first. Hello, I’m your host, Chief New Leaf, who will be taking Roving’s place while he recuperates; takes a sabbatical; gets it together. We’re down on Roving’s old corner, under the awning, but not to waylay commuters; no, we’re here to bother the customers at the café, the place where Roving raves about the burgers. We’ve been given permission to enter so let’s go on in and see what these people are thinking, their aspirations and fears.

“Excuse me, Chief New Leaf for ‘Pulse’; mind if I sit with you and ask some questions?”

“No, not at all; we just ordered so we got some time to chat. I’m Bob and this is my better half, June. Where’s Roving?”

“He’s a little too uptight lately so he’s taking some time off to get ready for the big day.”

“You mean the election?”

“You got it.”

“We already voted, early and in person.”

“I’m not going to ask you who you two voted for; I can see that you’re reasonable people and I like your cross, June.”

“Why, thank you, Chief; it was a birthday present. We used to watch ‘Pulse’ but now listen to you on the radio. What’s the question of the day?”

“The question is are you prepared for riots and goons coming down your street, forget the election?”

“We believe in our country and take it upon ourselves to do what we can, or what may very well be necessary, to protect our lives and property, to start, and then our neighbors. And, yes, we have guns; matter of fact, we have guns on us right now.”

“Do you ever go to a shooting range?”

“No, we fixed up our basement with soundproof insulation and practice often. Now, if you’ll excuse us, Chief, here’s the waitress with our burgers.”

“Thanks for talking with us. Let’s take a commercial break.”

Shotgun” (3:01)

“We’re back with Jill and Wyatt to hear their take on China’s hold on Biden.”


“Are you aware that the stores in Washington, D.C., are boarding themselves up?”

“Stores boarded-up in our nation’s capital? I don’t believe it.”

“Ever hear of Chris Salcedo or Steve Bannon?”

“No, who are they?”

“Then what about Newsmax and America’s Voice News?”

“No, we watch CNN and FOX.”

“Do you two believe in the Second Amendment?”

“Guns kill people.”

“What about ‘people with guns kill people without guns’; ever hear of that?”

“Oh, so you’re a Trumpster?”

“And you two don’t bother calling 9-1-1 for you’ll have defunded them.”

“They send social workers out to help us.”

“Let me tell you – and please don’t take this wrong — but no amount of social work can help you two. You sound like my wife; talking to her is like talking to the cat. Hopeless; what’s the point? You know, Jesus never said to go through life stupid; to lie down and take it; to not fight back. Try and use the brain that the Good Lord gave you to think with; could you do that?”

“We don’t like your attitude.”

“And I don’t like people getting me killed, so there. Now I understand why Roving took some time off; my gosh, how does he do it year after year? I’m telling him no more guest-hosting. And with that I’ll be wishing you all a goodnight: Goodnight.

“I think I’ll just sit here and order one of those delicious burgers and it’ll be Roving’s treat.”

White Rabbit” (2:36)

Chief New Leaf

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