by Professor Zorkophsky, ©2020

(Sep. 8, 2020) — “Whispering Bells” (2:27)

‘Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ the place to hear it here first. I used to teach a course called ‘Basic Logic 101’ to the freshmen at the university. I explained logic as common sense and used two irrefutable examples: ‘Don’t Drink and Drive’ and the commercial of an egg being fried with the caption: ‘This is your mind on drugs.’

“It’s called ‘cause and effect’: if you miss the nail with the hammer and hit your finger, it’ll hurt; if you run a red light, sooner or later you’ll wish you hadn’t; and if you cheat you’ll get caught, in one way or another. There is no such thing as a ‘free ride’; it’s just one of life’s hard lessons.

“To qualify for a job with the Foreign Service, one must be able to ‘pass it along the chain of command.’ When I was a college student, I applied for a job at the local grocery chain as a stocker and bagboy. I was given a questionnaire to fill-out whose main theme was to ‘ask your supervisor’ if any question came up, as in: If you see an unsafe condition, do you fix the problem or report it to your supervisor? Another question was: ‘If you know of a better way to do something, should you tell it to your supervisor?’ I wasn’t hired for the job because they wanted people who wouldn’t – or couldn’t – think on their feet. If you saw something unsafe, don’t fix it; report it; if you know of a better way, keep your mouth shut.

“Since 9-11, our Christians in Action (CIA), Department of Homeland Security and State (the Department of State) have brought forth to our land millions of Muslims, real honest-to-goodness Muslims who practice cruelty to animals, honor killings, FGM’s and all the other barbaric practices of today’s Muslim communities worldwide. Of course, to their way of thinking, it is normal to torture animals, slaves (captives) and women. That’s just the way it is for them.

“But it is not our way, which begs the question as to why a people would introduce a system of belief that is at polar opposites to, for instance, the Golden Rule; an admiration for dogs,* and allowing women to have the same opportunities afforded to men, like leaving the house unescorted, driving a car or going to the beach by themselves. Excuse us while we break for a commercial.”

Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Yellow Polka Dot Bikini” (2:19)

“With me here in Carson City, Nevada is Greg who is a retired ambassador. What country did you serve in, Greg?”

“I served in National City, CA, for 30 years.”

“But that’s a suburb of San Diego, not a Third World Country.”

“Don’t you believe it; I’ll have you know that National City is the used car dealer capital of the world, make no mistake about it.”

“But it’s in the United States. How can you be an Ambassador in your own country?”

“Easy. Let me ask you a question: when was the last time you drove the main drag in National City? I thought so. It has an embassy compound and a Marine Guard Detachment, plus a helicopter in case of a quick getaway.”

“No way.”

“Yes way. Look, nobody speaks English there unless the subject is money.”

“So you weren’t importing Muslims.”

“But we were; ALL our embassies were importing Muslims; it’s what we do. We would import them and either the Catholic Charities or the Department of Homeland Security would take them off our hands to be strategically placed somewhere in America so as to spread them out beyond the Twin Cities, Dearborn, East St. Louis, Newark, Orlando, Los Angeles, Nashville and anywhere where there’s a Mega Mosque sprouting up like in East St. Louis and Phoenix.”

“But why?”

“But why what?”

“Why would we import a group of people who hate our guts and everything that we stand for?”

“Look, conservatives don’t import killers, just the Left. The Left imports them because they hate our Constitution as much as our enemies do; it’s that simple. The mistake is that the enemy of our enemy IS NOT OUR FRIEND, but they don’t know that, at least not yet.”

“But they will?”

“When it’s too late, but by then nobody will care anyway. You see, there comes a time in any country’s life when the people must choose between the connections between the past present and future. Toppling our statues, rewriting history and living in a world of make-believe reparations and a bunch of free stuff that make one even more dependent on the government is not a good idea, ever. It’s like believing in Socialism, a condition that only works on paper, like a pitcher throwing a ball at a batter and the ball travels by halves: at one spot it is halfway there, and then half that and so-on, until infinity. Heck, if that’s the case the catcher might as well pack it up and go home because the ball will never reach the batter, the same way Socialism will never work. As a math exercise, the baseball example is as meaningful as suggesting Socialism as a viable form of government.”

“But there’s a problem, isn’t there?”

“You bet: we import a bunch of ignorant heathens and tell them this is the land of the free and immediately they want Sharia Law and ‘honor killings’ and FGM’s. Meanwhile, the girls want fingernail polish and the wives want divorces.”

“So is it your opinion that having millions of Muslims in our country is a bad idea?”

“It is my opinion having one Muslim in our country is a bad idea.”

“Well, Greg, our time is up and I want to thank you for all the new and important information that you shared with us. So let me say goodnight to our listeners and readers: Goodnight.

“Good show. Burger time: my treat.”

[*Dogs: Rin Tin Tin; Bullet; Lassie; Toto; Benji; Pluto; Muttley; Tramp; Scooby-Doo; White Fang; Santa’s Little Helper; Snoopy; and John Wick’s unnamed pit bull; and so forth. We, us Americans, love our dogs: Muslims torture and kill dogs.]

Who’s Gonna Drive You Home Tonight?” (3:55)

Professor Zorkophsky

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