“ONLY IF TRUMP WINS”
by Madam Shylock, ©2020
“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ the place to hear it here first. Due to the unsafe conditions at our home office, our editor dishes out assignments at random, and for this edition I have been selected to give a pre-election report, which I will now do: Trump will win by the biggest margin ever. People will like nothing more than to send a very clear warning to those who want to change the USA into a Third World cesspool.
“There, now that you heard it I can report on what is most near and dear to my heart: how to achieve some semblance of serenity in a world where half the people are out-to-lunch while the other half have not only made the required reservations, but have already eaten and are cozy and snug in bed.
“That’s right: some continuously wander and wonder while people like us have already discovered the meaning of life; some cried when Hillary went down in unlit fireworks while others rejoiced in the knowledge of a second chance for our Democratic Republic lasting another four years.
“And I have a surprise for you all: ‘Zork’ is in the parlor, on a well-deserved vacation from his incessant writing of bestsellers, down here to — well, let’s find out. Excuse me, Professor Zorkophsky, I’m recording our conversation for ‘Pulse.’”
“Then let me start off by saying that I’m sick and tired of this China-19 virus farce, masks and this lockdown hype. It’s all political to protect the Deep State from seeing the inside of a cell, starting with Hillary and Obama, then right down the list of the usual suspects (1:07). Bye the way, I’m not wearing my professional hat so just call me ‘Zork,’ okay?”
“For sure. So what’s your take on the DNC?”
“Let me tell you a story, back to when the Constitution was being debated. When it was all said and done, a compromise was obtained between the First and Second Amendment supporters: they agreed that ALL the Amendments would be treated equally, okay?”
“But you disagree?”
“Well, without the Second – the right to bear arms – to protect any of the other Amendments, it doesn’t take a lot of brainpower to figure out without the Second all of the other Amendments would be in jeopardy by the fact that there would be nothing to protect them.”
“Run that by me once again.”
“The Second Amendment is the only document that is a material document and not just a subject for debate. The Second is physical, as a real honest-to-goodness 12-gauge double-barrel shotgun vs. the freedom of speech, which is not physical but an idea.”
“What about the ‘Freedom of Assembly?’”
“Think of ‘Freedom of Assembly’ as an idea more than a football stadium filled to the gills. Look, no matter how you cut it, the Second Amendment is the key to the whole ball of wax. It is the key to every single word in the Constitution; it is the backbone of our freedoms, and nothing is even in the same ballpark as the right to protect yourself from an overzealous government or any other bad people who want to take away your rights.”
“So the Biden-Harris ticket wants to disarm us citizens so only the cops and the outlaws have the means to protect themselves?”
“That’s one way of looking at it; another way would be to say that we’ll be the only ones who won’t be able to protect ourselves, just like the citizens of Venezuela: at the mercy of anyone with a gun. One very bad place to be, at any time, is disarmed, but just look around you and tell me what you see.”
“I see a world of hurting; I see mobs; I see the news of random knifings and shootings; I see defundings and backstabbings; I see a world where one side hears the truth while the other is so filled with hate they wouldn’t recognize the truth if it bit them on the end of their nose at high noon.”
“Yes, I agree. The mainstream media has really gone too far, haven’t they? They went so far that they couldn’t pull back even if they wanted to. They created a monster that is out of control, that is way beyond their control. They created a train that’s heading off the cliff at high speed, and if Trump doesn’t landslide — and I mean BIG – then all we’ll get is more of the same, spreading from city to city and out into the suburbs and then to every nook and cranny from sea to shining sea. What Obama has sowed will be reaped: America at war with itself, the ‘figured-it-outs’ vs. the puppets; the used; the stupid; the gullibles; the Obots; the Democrats; the Hillary crybabies; the voters for the de facto president Obama, aka Barry Soetoro; and the Hollywood Looney Tunes.”
“Expose Obama for the fraud that he is, then the whole apparatus of the Deep State comes crashing down; the Pentagon collapses and all those crooked top brass will be exposed by the Lieutenant Colonels; those patriotic reporters in the newsrooms across the country will rise up and expose their anti-American bosses; George Soros will be deported back to Germany, there to be tried as a NAZI war criminal.”
“But only if Trump wins.”
“But only if Trump wins BIG, and I mean really big. Bigger than ever, big enough to make a really big statement that we like Capitalism, jobs and a paycheck. We don’t want Welfare and Food Stamps; we want our kids to learn how to read, write and speak proper English. Fair enough?”
“In spades. Goodnight.
“Let’s grab a burger: my treat.”
“How Do You Think I Feel” (2:09)