“WHY CAN’T THEY BE NICE?”
by OPOVV, ©2020
(May 3, 2020) — “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ the place to hear what you need to hear, brought to you from Miss Bernard’s grade school class in sunny Ormond Beach, FL. Hello, I’m your host, Roving Reporter (RR), in the classroom where Madam Shylock is about to conduct a question-and-answer session. What do you say we listen in?”
“Hello, children, that was a really impressive rendition of ‘The Pledge of Allegiance.’ Now are we all settled in? Good. Does anyone have a question? Yes, you over there. What would you like to ask me?”
“Are you a witch?”
“No, I just report what the future has in store. Sometimes what I have to say isn’t what the person wants to hear, but I can’t help that. Another question?”
“I heard you have a pet frog and that his name is Henry and that he talks; is that true?”
“Yes. Another question; you.”
“Can you tell us about the world and why we are here?”
“Yes, I can do that. You live inside an envelope. Some envelopes are bigger than others, but, no matter who you are, you live inside an envelope. When you walk outside your envelope you enter a drawer that we call a town or city that has a zip code. When you leave your drawer — zip code — you find yourself in a closet that we call a State; we’re in Florida. When you leave your closet you’ll see a bunch of other closets that make up a country; our country is called the United States.”
“You mean the United Closets, don’t you?”
“Yes, in a way. If you leave the Land of the United Closets, which we call the Living Room, you’ll find other ‘Living Rooms’ that are separated by water, most of the time, and land, some of the time.”
“And then what? What are the rooms attached to?”
“A ship, a big ship, a really big ship that we call the earth.”
“What does the ship earth float on?”
“If you had a ball on the end of a string and twilled it above your head, the ball would travel in a circle. The string that holds the earth is invisible, but even though it is invisible it has a name and that name is gravity. The other end of the string, or gravity, is being held by our nearest star, the sun.”
“Wow!”
“Yes, ‘wow’ for sure. There are many living rooms, one for each country, but all of the living rooms do not house people who are nice to each other, sad to say.”
“Why can’t they be nice? Didn’t their mommies and daddies teach them to be good?”
“I’ve afraid not. Some mommies and daddies are very bad people because their mommies and daddies were very bad people.”
“Even grandmommies and granddaddies? Are they bad people, too?”
“For sure some are.”
“Why don’t they get better?”
“Because they don’t want to get better. They enjoy making other people’s lives as miserable as possible.”
“But why?”
“Why? Good question, and if anyone knew the answer maybe the cycle of past insanity would finally come to an end, but they worship death and there’s just no end to it, ever. Their mantra, ‘No Jew between me and the sea,’ will go on and on and on.”
“So what are we supposed to do when we get big?”
“Practice the Golden Rule and be aware of the bad people that are coming into our living room every day.”
“I don’t want bad people in our living room. Who does?”
“The government, the ‘We the People,’ has been trashed by the Democrats.”
“Why can’t people be nice to one another?”
“It all comes back to the Golden Rule. Some people don’t want to be treated like they treat others.”
“The bad people. Is there another name for the bad people?”
“Yes: Muslims.”
“Why do they treat people not as they themselves would wish to be treated?”
“For some reason they never grow out of the terrible twos; they’re incapable of accepting adulthood where one is supposed to take responsibility for bad behavior.”
“That’s too bad, isn’t it?”
“You better believe it.”
“I’m sorry, but we’ve just run out of time and so, on behalf of the kids and their teacher, Miss Bernard, along with Madam Shylock and the crew, I’ll be wishing you all a goodnight: Goodnight.
“Good show. Burger time: my treat.”
“Season of the Witch” (4:57)