by OPOVV, ©2020

cocoparisienne, Pixabay, License

(Apr. 28, 2020) — “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ the place where people go to hear it. For those of you who are watching us on television, yes, we’re back in the Adirondacks to hear what the Little People have to say about mail-in voting. Standing with me is the mayor of the — what is this, a town or what?”

“It’s a city, and by our standards the biggest city of our land, a land, by the way, we share with you. To you it’s the size of a tennis court, but to us it’s our capital city that we’re mighty proud of. And I don’t know if you know it, but there’s no strip-mining or clear-cutting: we respect our environment and rather than have the environment accommodate us, we accommodate the environment.”

“Do you people have abortion clinics?”

“No, we don’t and I’ll tell you why: by the time our young people reach the age where reproduction is possible, they’ve learned to read and can follow the directions of the different birth control methods, the most effective being abstinence.”

“What is the predominant religion here?”

“We’re all Christians with a smattering of Jews, but no matter who we are, we all practice the Golden Rule, which leaves-out a distinct segment of the world’s population, the part that has never been civilized and doesn’t look like they ever will; I mean, they haven’t gotten with the program during the past 1,400 years.”

“When we were here a couple of months ago you said that you voted in our elections; how do you do that?”

“We do it all by absentee ballots, that’s how. Each of us has a valid Social Security number and bank accounts from St. Regis Falls to Lake George, and from Lowville to Westport with direct deposit. We even have our own zip code, area code and school district number; we are true Americans with real honest-to-goodness Birth Certificates. And to top it off, each of us has an up-to-date passport in case there’s any questions about authenticity of citizenship.”

“It sure seems as if you’re doing it all legal. How do you…?”

“Get our mail and such? There are a few Big People, such as you, whom we trust. We use our trains to deliver the mail. Most of the track is in tunnels for protection from twigs, leaves and prying eyes. Wouldn’t do us any good having some crazed anthropologist write us up in the National Geographic*, now, would it?”

“I’d have to agree with you there; they’d microscope you all to death.”

“And then the tourists show up and it ends up looking like a Third World country, colloquially known as a landfill.”

Pezibear, Pixabay, License

“Like if the Arabs overran Israel: a garbage dump in less than a month; goodbye, orchards, fields of grain and gardens. They’d uproot every olive tree they could find, wouldn’t they?”

“So how can I help you, Roving?”

“I’d like your perspective on this ‘voting-by-mail’ scheme that the Democrats are cooking up.”

“It’ll be the end of democracy, if you want the truth, the end of America, and the end of the concept of voting. Another way of saying it – and just as accurate – would be a missed shot; a bullet that was wasted; and the enemy that snuck behind your back while you weren’t looking.”

“That last one, ‘behind our backs’: what’s that all about?”

“Muslims, DACA’s, illegal immigrants, anchor babies:  in other words, people who have no legal right to be in our country.”

“So why are they here?”

“Because those we have elected don’t care about your country, my country, our country, THE country. Once the law is circumvented, there is no law, understand? That’s why it’s so important to get Hillary, Barry Soetoro, Loretta Lynch, Eric Holder and the two Muslims who ran it all, Valerie Jarrett and Huma Abedin, locked up where they can’t get any more Americans killed, such as Seal Team Six.”

“But you haven’t answered my question about mail-in voting.”

“Look: mail-in voting IS NOT THE SAME AS absentee voting. There is NO relationship between the two: one doesn’t require any documentation while the other requires proof of citizenship, which is why voter ID should be required, that is, if we want to keep our country. And don’t ask why an ID is required for flying, a bank account, or any other reason including Welfare, Food Stamps, renting a car, apartment or even roller skates, not to mention buying a gun or getting a bank loan for a house or, for that matter, paying cash for a house and having the electric and water turned on.”

“I wasn’t going to ask anyway. But let’s get back to the comparison of a bullet that missed its target and a mail-in ballot.”

“If people were honest we wouldn’t be having this discussion in the first place, and it really is a sad – but truthful – commentary on the so-called Macho culture that is practiced by those who come from south of the border. The men are supposed to be stand-up guys but it’s awfully hard not to condone cowards who sneak across the border and live in a country illegally. It doesn’t say much for their upbringing, how they were raised, and turning their backs on the church because if it’s one thing the church teaches, it’s to tell the truth.”

“Yes, I think you’re right. Now, getting back to the bullet thing.”

In a photo by Robert F. Sargent, 1st Infantry Division soldiers are shown landing on Omaha Beach on June 6, 1944, also known as “D-Day” (public domain)

“Let’s say you’re a young kid, maybe 19, just spent the last nine months training, and then all of a sudden the ramp goes down as you charge towards the beach on D-Day, 1944.  So you’re one of the lucky ones that didn’t get mowed-down by machine-gun fire: as the barrel of the weapon was pointing your way the shell for the last round was being ejected, and that’s the only reason you’re alive.

“And then the war is over and you’re on your way to vote for a president, but the guy who was shooting at you a few years ago is going to mail-in his ballot for your president, the very man that you were shooting at years ago. This man is not a citizen of your country; he didn’t earn the right to vote in your country; yet his illegal vote will carry the same weight as yours. Now what do you think of that?”

“I think we need voter ID.”

“I think we do, too. We wish you all well.”

“Thank you, and the same to all the Little People everywhere. All right, that’ll do it for this episode of ‘Pulse’ and so, on behalf of the crew, I’ll be wishing you all a goodnight: Goodnight.

“Doesn’t say a whole lot for boys trying to be men, does it? So all those M-13 gangbangers and DACA’s, the ones that are freeloaders, they just talk the talk but don’t walk the walk. And then they have the audacity to question why their womenfolk look down on them. I mean, can’t they ‘stand tall,’ as the saying goes? Cowboys, vaqueros, and gauchos used to have a code of honor; what happened to that? Burger time: my treat.”

[*National Geographic: a left-wing loony magazine.]

As a shout-out to Chris Salcedo of Newsmax, the following tune:

Thank God It’s Friday”  (3:10)






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