by OPOVV, ©2020

(Apr. 1, 2020) — “I Wonder What She’s Doing Tonight” (2:43)

“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to another exciting episode of ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ the quintessential place to keep up with the latest news of the day. That’s right, even though we’re not on our corner, under the awning, across the street from the train depot, we’re still working to bring you truth news, something you can count on, repeat with confidence, hang your hat on.

“Hello, my name is Roving Reporter (RR), hunkered-down in my humble abode, and with us on Skype is a Democratic Strategist, Miss Simpkins, someone who is a repeat customer, as it were. I’m somewhat surprised that you agreed to be interviewed again; I mean, I said some pretty nasty things about the Democratic Party, aka ‘The Democratic Socialist Party of the United States,’ and you for being an anti-Constitutionalist.”

“That may very well be true, Roving; nevertheless, what you said about me and my political bent was factual, so I’ve no reason to fault your most excellent reporting.”

Not Too Long Ago” (2:20)

“Oh, well, thank you for the thumbs-up; I wish I could return the positive compliment, but I can’t.”

“That’s okay, and please, you can call me by my first name, which is Nancy.”

“Will do, Nancy. So the way I’d like to conduct this interview is to ask questions of the stuff you’re not supposed to talk about; you game?”

“Why of course I’m, as you say, ‘game.’ Look, Roving, I know I’m stupid beyond belief and I’m being used by nefarious forces, but I’m just a dumb, gullible, and disillusioned product of our government’s social engineering which gave me an inadequate education to cope with adverse opinions.”

“Did I just I hear a truth? Okay, let’s keep it going. So you Dems are supporting Muslim candidates for office; is that correct?”

“Well, yes; not only Muslims, but any and all who are equally dumb beyond belief. Look, Roving, all we want is to destroy the USA.”

“Well, that’s pretty obvious, but why?”

“Why what?”

“Why do you want to destroy our country? Why?”

“I don’t know; something to do, I guess.”

“But don’t you have any idea the harm that you people have been causing? You have Muslims raping young Americans and illegal immigrants running red lights; what more do you want?”

“Is this the point where you want me to go off my talking points?”

“Now would be a good time.”

“We want the women’s vote because we tell them they’re being held down; we want the illegals’ vote because we tell them they’re being held down; we want the black vote because we tell them they’re being held down.”

“What about the Jewish vote?”

“We don’t tell them anything.”

“Let’s talk about the women’s vote, if you don’t mind.”

“No, I don’t mind. And speaking of the women’s vote, I’m supposed to downplay any reference about Muslims and their so-called honor killings,‘ which is just another way of saying premeditated murder. Oh, and another thing: I’m not supposed to mention FGM’s and all the other anti-female horribleness that they push.”

“Not one word?”

“Not one word. You ever been to a Muslim country where they wake you up with their incessant blasting call to prayer before the sun rises and, for the fifth time in a day, long after the sun has set?”

“Yes, I have, when I was in the Navy. The orders were stay beyond the hearing of any call to prayer or else face the consequences that we’re all too familiar with nowadays, as in what happened to Daniel Pearl. Any more things you’re not supposed to talk about?”

“I’m not to mention that voter ID is the key to voting fraud, which we plan to have a lot of, because we’ve been working overtime to make it happen: more votes for our candidate than registered voters in any precinct.”

“But wouldn’t the authorities recognize that’s impossible?”

“Guess what, Roving? We’re the authority, so there. And, besides, you wouldn’t believe how many times we got away with it in 2008. I’m not to mention pollution, because if I do it may take away from the fake global warming hoax. And I’m not supposed to mention clear-cutting, and the ultimate: strip-mining.”

“Well, I’m sure with you there, being against pollution and strip-mining myself. What about wind farms?”

“Oh, yes, we like wind; then we can blame all the bird murders on Trump. Those are the big ones, besides late-term abortion and killing the baby after birth, which we’re to avoid at all cost. Go ahead, give me a try: ask me a question about abortion.”

“Okay: will the Democratic platform continue to support late-term abortions?”

“I’m so glad you asked that question, Roving. As you know, we have committee after committee working long and arduous hours to protect a woman’s right to not know she missed her cycle eight months previously. We remain dedicated to protect the ignorant, as long as the dummies vote for us. How’s that?”

“That was good. You mind saying anything about Socialism?”

“We’re not supposed to use that word; instead, we’re supposed to say, ‘Democratic Socialism’.”

“But there’s no such thing as ‘Democratic Socialism’; Bernie Mister Communism Himself Sanders made it up.”

“And isn’t it wonderful?”

“What do you mean?”

“Make-believe; isn’t make-believe fun? That’s what us Dems are selling: fun, as in free this and free that, when nothing in life is free, except love, but even that has limits.”

“Love has limits?”

“For sure. I cheated on my husband but he still loves me, even though he left me.”

“Pride will do that. I’m not going to say anything more except to say thank you, Nancy, for being on the show in these trying times and wish you good health. Okay, folks, that’ll do it for this installment of ‘Pulse.’

“In closing, I’d just like to say that I think our president is doing a really good job. Just imagine, if you dare, what kind of mess we’d be in if Hillary was at the helm? I enjoy those press briefings, which aren’t all that brief, but what the heck, we’re all cooped-up. I should go out to the barn and get caught-up on some of the chores that have been on hold for the last couple of years, like rebuilding my generator that I bought at a garage sale six years ago.

“That’s it, so I’ll be wishing you all a goodnight:  Goodnight.

“Another good show, if I don’t say so myself. I’m grilling myself a burger and it’ll be my treat.”

Last Night” (3:52)


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