Madam Shylock Picks 2020 Stocks (RR)


by OPOVV, ©2020

Photo: mmurphy, Pixabay, License

(Jan. 13, 2020) — “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ your one stop to hear it here and that’s about it. How’d I do? Close enough? Good. My name is Roving and, as you can see, we’re standing on the stoop of ‘Madam Shylock‘s Fortune-Telling Emporium’ located in Cassadaga, Florida, ringing the bell.”

“I’ll be right with you.”

“No hurry; we’ll go across the street and see if Henry is available.”

“He’s in here, having breakfast. He’s just finishing. Give me a minute to put on my beads and hoop earrings, my shawl, my bandana, my iridescent robe, my bracelets and rings, my…”

“Look, we’ll be back in an hour; we’ll stop off at that diner down the road and grab something.”

“Try the deep-fried Burmese python. Tell them I sent you and they’ll knock off 10%. Just peel the skin back and eat it like an ear of corn.”

“Will do. Okay, folks, we’ll be back in an hour, so here’s some music to pass the time.”

For A Few Dollars More” (4:03)

“And we just pulled up and there’s Madam Shylock waving to Henry who is on his pad. Did you get a shot of Henry waving? Well, then, get one of Madam Shylock waving to Henry. Madam Shylock, wave again to Henry so we get it on film. Thank you. The snake tasted like chicken.”

“It should because that’s what they eat, and just about everything else. Why do we allow invasive species in our country? Look at this Kudzu all over the place. We used to have orchids around here but no longer. And we used to have deer, too. We should place a ban on tropical fish and birds, if you ask me. And don’t tell me to predict the future because you won’t like my answer.”

“Okay, we won’t, but we would like to ask you about the hot stocks of 2020.”

“That I can do. Let’s go inside where I’ll make some lemonade for everyone.”

“Sounds like a deal. Let’s throw in a commercial.”

Bible on the Dash” (4:23)

“Okay, we’re back at Madam Shylock’s place where she’s going to give us some dynamite stock tips; isn’t that right, Madam Shylock?”

“Right as rain after you pass me that envelope stuffed with cash; I prefer twenties.”

“Here you go. Okay, spill the beans, as they say.”

“That they do; that they do. Now you all heard this attention paid to electric vehicles, but have you been paying attention to those little portable hand-held generators that eventually make their way into the trunks of the aforementioned vehicles?”

“No, actually we haven’t.”

“That’s because you don’t pay attention, Roving. What I’ve been doing is buying land or buildings next to the dealers that are selling and will be selling all electric cars. Now, let’s say one of those cars runs out of juice; what then? Run an extension cord a quarter mile from the farmhouse or barn? After the first time they’ll want one of those little portable generators or a battery jump-starter that will give them enough miles to get to the next plug.”

“How long has this been going on?”

“Years, but there’s more. They’re designing these little generators that sit on top of the cab or trunk or wherever that look like luggage carriers – you’ve seen them – that are lightweight and aerodynamic, too.”

“So why don’t people buy those hybrids:  you know, gas and electric, and forget about little portable generators in the first place?”

“Because we all can’t be smart enough to foretell the future, Roving. Besides, it’s my retirement I’m thinking of.”

“So let me see if I understand this: you’re buying – and already bought – land and buildings next to or across the street from the dealers that sell, or will sell, all electric vehicles with the expectation that dissatisfied customers will purchase portable generators from you. Did I get it right?”

“You sure did, and it’s already happening, so there.”

“So there?”

“Look, the idea of an all-electric car is great but so is the idea of an electric car with its own generator, which is an even better idea. Listen: once batteries become fast-charging, as in the word fast, and until there’s charging stations everywhere, my retirement is secure, thank you very much.”

“No, thank you very much. So buy stock in companies that make those little lightweight portable generators. Okay, we got it; makes sense. And now I’m afraid the time has come when I say, on behalf of the crew, goodnight: Goodnight.

“Good show. Burger time: my treat.”

That’s Cowboy Logic Song” (3:39)


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