Zork’s “Those Afflicted with Short-Circuitry” (RR)


by OPOVV, ©2019

Photo: AaronPictures at Pixabay

(Dec. 2, 2019) — “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ where you’re sure to find the answers you’re looking for. Hello, I’m Mr. Roving, the host of ‘Pulse.’ Sitting to my right is Professor Zorkophsky and on my left is Chief New Leaf who just stopped by to collect a bet. Mind telling us what the bet was about?”

“Not at all. I bet Zork that there were no limits on how far the Democrats would sink to embarrass themselves, while Zork argued that, in the end, reason would prevail, and I just came by to collect my five bucks.”

“You’re talking about the Star Chamber impeachment hearings?”

“None other. Look, I’ve got to run, so see you around.”

“And off he goes. So you’ve written yet another book, Professor Zorkophsky: ‘Those Afflicted with Short-Circuitry.’ I guess you’re talking about crazy people.”

“I’m sorry, Roving, but we profession shrinks don’t use the word ‘crazy’ for fear of setting someone off, maybe making them go bananas; no, we use the word ‘nuts.’ Here, let me give you an example: ‘Adam Schiff is nuttier than a fruitcake.’ Another example would be, ‘Nancy Pelosi is nuttier than a fruitcake.’”

“Thank you, Professor, for giving us varied and unique examples.”

“Excuse me, Roving, but would you mind addressing me as ‘Zork’ since we’re in my comfortable office? Care to see my latest addition?”

“I think I see it and it’s making me kind-of woozy. How did you do it?”

“I invented a paint that responds to electrical ‘pings’ from the TV set, is what I did.”

“So you painted the whole room with this special paint? And where’s the TV screen?”

“On the wall the desk faces. What I invented was what you would see if you were in the picture; if you looked down, or around and up; anywhere, it puts you ‘inside’ whatever you’re watching. Look, we’re watching a Western; hence the floor looks like sand and the ceiling is blue sky with cirrus clouds. Now I’ll flip to another channel: now we’re on the ocean and these scuba divers are just going over the side. What in heaven’s name are you doing on my desk?”

“I’m sorry, but I thought I saw a shark down below wanting to eat me.”

“You did; isn’t it wonderful? It doesn’t do all the stuff on TV, just movies. I mean, if you want to watch Wayne Allyn Root on Newsmax* you’ll just be seeing the news. Right now it only works on movies. Here, let me show you ‘the best avalanches in the past 20 years’; would that be to your liking?”

“No, thanks; I’ll take a rain check, or, in this case, a ‘snow check.’”

“Roving, I’m a shrink, and as a shrink let me tell you you’re not nearly as clever as you think you are. That’ll be $250; I’ll bill you: I don’t give out free advice.”

“In that case I won’t take it, so I don’t owe you.”

“Fair enough. So let’s start hawking my latest book. It’s written in two parts: those born wired wrong and those who became short-circuited by other means.”

“By ‘other means?’”

“Born into an Islamic Totalitarian State is the example I espouse.”

“Now how do you do that?”

“Well, I use the example of the Bible. You see, Western Civilization isn’t afraid of other ideas because rational people don’t fly planes into buildings and murder children for no reason. I know what you’re going to say: the murderers quote or repeat what they’ve been taught, but that doesn’t excuse them of murder; it’s not enough to give them a reason to murder for whatever short-circuited excuse they have been taught or make up.”

“Care to give us an example?”

“Group of people out for a balmy night celebrating life, good food and fireworks and then comes some short-circuited individual who mows them down with a truck, murdering and maiming with insane glee. Give me a break. But you know who the real nuts are? The police who are looking for a motive, that’s who. It is Angela Merkel destroying German culture by welcoming an invading army. You know what the Germans’ solution is? Rather then deport their Muslims, they surround their outdoor Christmas shopping centers with concrete Christmas trees painted green; can you believe that? That’s no solution: it’s a weak excuse; it’s ignoring the problem altogether. It’s like the gun laws in Chicago: take away the guns from the law-abiding citizens so only the criminals are armed. And the police are still looking for the motive of a Muslim who knifed a bunch of people in Germany.”

“Yes; it’s almost as if they’re investigating an avalanche and laying the blame on an individual Lemming for sneezing. If the news would report the truth about the daily so-called honor killings (since when did murder become honorable?), shootings and knifings, there wouldn’t be enough time for the weather report.”

“I also explain the concept of Halal and I’m not going to go into it any more than that. In the book I offer a few references but very few and none graphic. I’m against animal cruelty for the sake of cruelty, which is why I applaud President Trump’s signing the Federal Animal Cruelty Bill, which is anti-Halal.”

“Yes, but the mainstream media ignored it, didn’t they?”

“Yes; ignored the anti-Halal Muslim Sharia Law bill 100%. Trump is fighting back as much as he is able, but it’s up to us not to vote Muslims in but to kick Muslims out, which I express pretty convincingly in the book. Buy it: you won’t be disappointed.”

“Thank you, Zork, for a great book review. And that’ll bring our show to a close and so, on behalf of the crew, I’ll be wishing you all a goodnight: Goodnight.

“Good show, Zork. I just saved $250: burger time: my treat.”

[*Newsmax: good news source. Word of advice: don’t believe any poll from mainstream news, and that includes FOX.]

The Old Chisolm Trail” (3:08)


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