Geriatric Overload Results in Short Circuits (RR)

“THEY DON’T KNOW WHERE TO RUN”

by OPOVV, ©2019

Photo credit: Fotoworkshop4You at Pixabay

(May 24, 2019) — “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to the show that’s enjoyed by all reasonable people who live by the rule of deductive reasoning: if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. Hello, my name is Roving Reporter and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ your respite from the idiocy that’s pushed by the forever-changing talking points by the mainstream media. With me is Professor Zorkophsky, and we’re here at the ‘Twilight Rest Station,’ a retirement home about an hour’s drive west of town. The good professor invited us to go on his rounds with him in order to determine how far out some of our senior citizens are. Do you think the camera and microphone will make any of the guests nervous, Professor Zork?”

“Won’t bother these folks a bit, Roving. And Roving, please call me ‘Zork’: I consider my visit here like a kid going to an amusement park, if you get my drift. Here, I’ll show you. The first stop is to check on Mr. Hulme, a retired railroad employee. Hello, Mr. Hulme.”

“What’s that up there? Looks like a flying squirrel to me; never seen one before; heard about ‘em but never actually seen one. It ain’t rabid, is it?”

“No, no: it’s a microphone windscreen shield; completely harmless, I assure you. So, how are we feeling today?”

“Well, I’m fine but I don’t know about you. That your pet? Never actually seen one before; heard about ‘em, but never seen one close enough to be bitten. It ain’t rabid, is it? What’s its name?”

“What do you think its name is?”

“Look, I know about you. You tout yourself as all-knowing, just like that fortune-teller, Madam Shylock, down there where people have all those sightings of UFO’s. If people were meant to fly, there would be wings instead of arms. That AOC maybe ain’t as stupid as she talks.”

“No, believe me, she’s as stupid as she talks. What about Senator Chuck Schumer? Is he on target?”

“Why, he’s an embarrassment to loafers everywhere, and I ought to know, after working on the railroad for over four decades.”

“Loafers?”

“You think being in Congress is work? Oh, I guess it is, after all, every night a party somewhere in town and lobbyists attempting to push money in their pockets, as if there’s no tomorrow; that and trying to take compromising photos.”

“What do you mean by that?”

“I mean if you’re going to ask somebody to do something, the best way to get what you want is to do it yourself first, that’s what. They say they want to see Trump’s taxes; fine, but show yours first.”

“But they’ll never do that.”

“Of course not, and that’s the point. Look, the Democrats lied about the Russian thing and got caught, but instead of admitting it, they’re acting like a little kid after getting caught with their hand in the cookie jar. And I mean that in a literal sense; for real; pictures and all; proof in the pudding; or, as we used to say in the railroad: ‘If it’s coupled, it’s good to go,’ and the Mueller Report is coupled.”

“So, that’s what’s happening with the brains of Schumer and Pelosi?”

“Let me put it to you this way: they got caught, okay? For the last two years they’ve pushed the Russian hoax and got caught, so I’ll tell you what’s happening: short-circuits everywhere, that’s what. They don’t know where to run to or what to turn to.”

“How about the truth?”

“They wouldn’t know the truth if it bit them in the you-know-where.”

“That bad?”

“They’d rather take down the whole country than admit that they were in on the lie, which is why they’re pushing Socialism to take the heat off of the Russian hoax. It’s the old shell game, but instead of being played on a card table on the sidewalk, it’s being played every night on television. But they’re wrong, in more ways than one.”

“How’s that?”

“Because Trump has all the facts, all the documents that prove that Obama and Hillary and the CIA and the FBI were all in on it: Trump is going to expose them all.”

“How’s he going to do that and make it believable? I mean, won’t the Democrats cry foul or whine about something else?”

“Not if Trump would turn up ALL THREE SHELLS AT THE SAME TIME.”

“Excuse me, Roving here, but we’ve just run out of time.”

“Bye, Rocky.”

“What?”

“I just guessed your squirrel’s name.”

“Good for you. Goodbye, Mr. Hulme and Zork; we have to leave.”

“But just next door we have a Nancy Pelosi impersonator who thinks she’s Adam Schiff.”

“Now that I’d like to see, but, really now, we have to sign off. Okay, to wrap it up, on behalf of the crew and Zork, this is your Roving Reporter wishing you all a goodnight: Goodnight.

“Good show. Let’s go grab some burgers: my treat.”

Bullwinkle and Rocky” (1:28)

OPOVV

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