“ONE OF THE KEYS THAT PROTECTS OUR REPUBLIC”
by OPOVV, ©2019
(May 1, 2019) — “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to the show that’s read by all the spies in the swamp, count on it. Hello, my name is Roving, as in Roving Reporter (RR), and we’re at what is now known as ‘The Corner of Truth,’ under the awning and across the street from the railroad station. What we do is waylay commuters on their rush to the big city, and speaking of people to interview, here comes the General towing his chalkboard. Top of the mornin’ to you, General. Off to the big city, are you?”
“Give me 20, soldier. Do you have any idea how many demerits you’ve accumulated just in the last month alone? Why, take a look at yourself: you’re a slob, and besides being out of uniform, you’re out of civilian uniform if civilians had a uniform. Besides all of the other platitudes, civilians waste their time on in greeting one another. What’s the question?”
“Glad to see you, too, General.”
“Take a gander at this-here chalkboard, son. See these tally marks?”
“Gee, there sure seems to be a heck of a lot of them, General.”
“I’m surprised you didn’t spend your military time in the stockade, son.”
“Yes, Sir, General, Sir.”
“I know what you’re going to ask – that’s why I’m a General and you’re a lowly private – but before I do here’s a ten spot: go to the Army-Navy store and get yourself a set of fatigues; do you a lot of good. Now, to answer your question: the Democrats have stepped over the line; you know that, but maybe there’s a few out there who didn’t get the memo.”
“And what memo would that be, General?”
“Why, the memo would be none other than the UNITED STATES CONSTITUTION, the MANIFESTO of the ACTIVE and the duly SEPARATED.”
“That’s right, General: you’re either collecting a paycheck from Uncle Sam or you used to collect a paycheck from Uncle Sam; either way, the Constitution is the guiding principle that defines the United States above all others.”
“Well-said, soldier. I think I’ll promote you to a Lieutenant Colonel.”
“I’m a Lieutenant Colonel, Sir?”
“Nonsense; look how you’re dressed. Why, you don’t even have a junior chalkboard. Now, getting back to answering your question: voter ID is mandatory; we can’t have the enemy telling us what to do, now can we? Listen: anybody who actually votes or assists in a vote being cast by an unqualified voter is the same as taking a gun and firing it at an American at point-blank range; understood?”
“Yes, Sir.”
“It’s come the time where words are becoming as dangerous as bullets, which is why I make sure all my men are armed, their wives and kids over 18 are armed and proficient in gun safety. We will not give up our guns as the Germans did in the 1930s and the Venezuelans did ten years ago, and that’s a fact of life. Now listen: if a person says that guns should be confiscated, what they are really saying is that you have no right to protect yourself and others. They are passing a death sentence on you and your family, and if you don’t believe that, if you don’t believe that the Democrats believe that Veterans and anyone else who supports the Constitution are their sworn enemy, then you haven’t been paying attention. Have you been paying attention, Private Roving?”
“Yes, Sir, the Private has been paying attention, yes, Sir! The key is to be armed so you can protect your family and your country, Sir.”
“Well-said, soldier; someday you’ll make Lieutenant Colonel, but first I’ll have to quiz you. Are you ready?”
“Shoot.”
“Poor choice of words, soldier. So, what have we learned here today?”
“Sir, we learned that our country needs voter ID and that anyone caught in fraudulent voting should be treated exactly as a traitor would be treated in time of war, Sir.”
“Well-done, soldier; consider yourself a Lieutenant Colonel and go buy yourself a uniform. One more thing: let’s help Venezuela; you never know, maybe she’ll be our Israel – a darn good ally — in South America. Dismissed.”
“And off the General goes, towing and sometimes pushing his chalkboard down the sidewalk. He may be a little bit out there, but at least he’s on our side. I’m afraid that it’s time for us to go, too, and so, on behalf of the crew, I’ll be wishing you all a goodnight: Goodnight.
“Another good show: voter ID is the key – certainly one of the keys — that protects our Republic. Burger time: my treat.”
“Maria” (1:45)