The Hat Trick (RR)


by OPOVV, ©2019

Photo credit:  candice-rose at Pixabay

(Apr. 18, 2019) — “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to the show that’s hard to disagree with, ‘The Pulse of the Nation.’ Hello, my name is Roving and we’re down at the ‘Cake Depot,’ the bakery next to the bookstore across the street from the baseball stadium. We’re standing under the awning that covers the entrance with the owner, Francois Quichette, who is introducing a new product that he thinks will get him into the Guinness Book of World Records. So, Francois, what are you introducing to our great city on this fine spring day?”

“I wish to thank America for giving me the opportunity to express myself. Yes, I work hard; every day I work hard, but now, after being in the shadows of the people who play the game of baseball, I will go to the head of the line, and this I believe.”

“That’s just great, but what is it that you did?”

“I, just a lowly baker from France, have designed, baked and decorated cakes that LOOK LIKE A HAT.”

“What kind of hat?”

“Any kind of hat. We have your top hat, fireman’s hat, baseball cap, fisherman’s cap and we even do custom hats for the LGBTQ crowd.”

“What about Indian hats?”

“Yes, we have the War Bonnet, too.”

“Well, it seems you have the different variety of hats covered, so the next question I have to ask you is: why? Why hats? What’s the big deal about hat cakes?”

“You Americans started it and I’m just following through. Ever hear the expression ‘Eat your hat’? Sure you have, so I make cake for all you thinking people to give to someone who has Trump Derangement Syndrome and watch them eat it.”

“Actually, I like the idea. What’s in the box that you’re holding?”

“Oh, this? As I said, we can make to order; this one has Joe Scarborough’s name on the brim of this cap-cake.”

“I like it. Oh, excuse me. We just had to move out of the way while a UPS employee passed us with quite a few cake boxes with ‘DELIVER TODAY’ stickers to members of Congress and others who we will be happy to see ‘eat their hats.’ Looks like you hit a home run, Francois. Congratulations.”

“Thank you, Roving and thank you, America. I will make a lot of money, and thinking Americans will have a lot of fun watching all the Democrats eat their hats.”

“Yes, and I like it. The Mueller report has now been made public and Trump has been fully exonerated of this Russian Hoax. Well, that’s it for today’s program and so, on behalf of the crew, I’ll be wishing you all a goodnight: Goodnight.

“Great show. Burger time: my treat.”

Tan Shoes with Pink Shoelaces” (2:25)


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