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by OPOVV, ©2019

(Feb. 16, 2019) — “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ your mind’s respite from the daily grind. Hello, my name is Roving and I’ll be your host for tonight’s another award-winning show and, because it’s raining, we’re here at Professor’s Zorkophsky’s door here at the university to ask him a question about opportunity. And will you take a look at that? He painted his door green. Where’s the…? Oh, here it is: I’ll push the doorbell: ‘Green Door’ (2:11).

“Hello, Roving, saw you pull up. What brings you and your crew out here in this wicked weather? Come on in; come in. Oh, and please take your shoes off and put these disposable slippers on; I buy them on the Internet for a song. Got in the habit when I was in the Navy stationed in Japan.”

“Thank you, Professor Zorkophsky. Nice carpet.”

“Please, Roving, call me ‘Zork’: there’s no need to be so formal in my humble office.”

“’Humble office’? My foot: soda fountain, bowling alley and, what’s this, another door? Mind if I look inside? Why, it’s a shooting gallery. My-my: a M1 Garand; nice gun. You don’t miss a trick, do you, Zork?”

“Please, make yourself comfortable while I put this gun-cleaning kit away. There, that’s done: we’re all ship-shape. Okay, how can I help you?”

“Well, the other day, during president Trump’s ‘Build the Wall’ announcement, this reporter, Jim Acosta, lacked the timidity to go one-on-one with Trump: Acosta attempted to debate Trump on whether there was a border crisIs or not and Trump played a handy trump card by saying, Just ask those Angel Moms sitting next to you.”

“Yes, I saw that, and Acosta sat right down and afterwards the Angel Moms descended upon him. Now here’s what I think: you’ve got to be a complete fool to believe we don’t have one heck of an illegal immigration problem. Had the government enforced the laws on the books and not given citizenship to anchor babies, there wouldn’t be any illegals and, consequently, no need for a wall, understand?”

“Well, sure, we understand that.”

“But because past administrations adopted the ‘hands-off’ approach to, unfortunately, garner Democratic votes, we now have an almost insurmountable illegal immigration problem.”

President Donald Trump speaking in the Rose Garden, February 15, 2019, screenshot/video courtesy of CNBC Television

“So, what’s your point?”

“My point, Roving, is that this could be a Road to Damascus Moment’ for Acosta; that is, if he accepts Trump as his president. Why, future generations would say, ‘It was truly an Acosta moment.’ Immortality is knocking on Acosta’s door; it’s Acosta’s opportunity for a chance at the Golden Ring.”

 “So, let me see if I understand you right: if Jim Acosta would admit that he was wrong about Trump and, from now on, support Trump, as in get religion, all would be well with the world? It’s the well of souls’ being filled?”

“Well, now, Roving, I don’t know anything about a ‘well of souls moment,’ but I will say that if Acosta would take advantage of this moment and step back and see the light, maybe the rest of his life would be a lot more fulfilling than if he continued on the path of denial and fake news.”

“Why, Zork, you’re beginning to sound like Madam Shylock. What’s happening, you two a couple?”

“More like an item. Now, if you excuse me, I’ve got to get to work writing a paper about the cheating wives of our military, like being deployed is tough enough without having to question the fidelity of one’s spouse. I think I’ll write it as a ‘TV Movie of the Week.’

“You ought to write about the morally-bankrupt who prey on married women, is what you ought to do. I don’t care how good-looking a woman is; if she’s married she’s nothing but a shipwreck waiting to happen. Sometimes like-minded people hook up, you know? I think Dante concocted a special place for such people — adulterers; I think it was in the Second Circle. And now it’s time when, on behalf of the crew, I wish you all a goodnight: Goodnight.

“Good show. And now it’s burger time: my treat.”

[*Insurmontable immigration problem: not true. We can do anything that we put our minds to, and if we want to deport each and every illegal immigrant — and that includes DACA — we sure as heck can, and we ought to.]

Let Me In” (3:08)


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