by OPOVV, ©2018

(Oct. 12, 2018) — “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ ground zero for the truth. Hello, my name is Roving and I’ll be your host for the show; glad you could make it. As you can see, we’re back on our favorite corner, under the awning, across the street from the railroad depot where we interview our neighbors on their way to the big city. Excuse me, Miss, Roving for ‘Pulse.’”

“Hello. I’ve been walking by here for the last couple of years and never had the time to stop and chat until now.”

“So why now? What changed?”

“I got promoted to office manager, so rather than arrive early to open the office and start the coffee machine, I arrive when everyone else arrives. I’ve watched your show from the beginning and even had you on cable until you had some sort of contract dispute.”

“They wanted me to work for free, is what it was. Okay, let’s get this show on the road: what’s your name and what’s your main concern these days?”

“My name is Ruby, and my main concern is the looting that follows in the aftermath of a hurricane. Look, I grew up in New Orleans and whenever there was a bad storm the mayor and the governor would proclaim: ‘THOSE WHO LOOT WE SHOOT.’ And don’t bother asking if there was any looting, or murders, carjacking’s, home invasions or liquor stores, gas stations or 7-11’s getting looted because there wasn’t. Not one instance after they caught a group breaking into a liquor store, that is. The cops shot them, understand?”

“They killed the looters?”

“Every one of them.”

“Were they armed? I mean, did the looters shoot back or anything?”

“They were looters, okay? Caught at the scene with the goods, and that’s all there is to it. And there was a break-in where some were trying to escape with large screen television sets; they were not armed but shot just the same.”


“Every one of them. And even though they weren’t armed, they were looters: Thou Shalt Not Steal is a concept as old as the hills and here’s my ride. Bye.”

“Thanks for talking with us, Ruby, and congratulations on your promotion. What do you say we take a quick break?”

When the Saints Go Marching In” (2:49)

“Okay, we’re back. And look who just walked up; it’s Professor Zorkophsky. Hey, Professor, what are you doing up so early?”

“Please, Roving, call me ‘Zork’; there’s no need to be so formal, especially out here on the sidewalk amongst the hustle and bustle of people catching the commuter train.”

“Oh, sure. What about the UN vacancy; any ideas? “

“Yes: me; I’m available, immensely qualified and available.”

“You said ‘available’ twice.”

“Which makes me doubly available.”

“If not you, then who?”

“That 2012 presidential candidate comes to mind, but then so does that Vietnam Vet and the Talking Dog*.”

“Now that I like. Thanks a lot, and here comes your train. See you, Zork. Imagine, the Talking Dog as America’s Ambassador to the United Nations. I like it; I like it a lot. Let’s break for a commercial.”

Sweet Home Alabama” (4:45)

“Okay, we’ve a few minutes of free time; it’s raining and the last commuter train has just pulled out of the station. I want to say a word about the craziness of the Kavanaugh Senate confirmation process. The straightforward confirmation process was deliberately sabotaged by a group of people who care not for the rule of law – the Constitution – and care less for you and me. It never should have gone as far out-of-kilter as it did and the ONLY reason why it did is because of the endorsement of the mainstream media’s out-and-out hatred for the concepts of honesty and hard work.

“Brett Kavanaugh often said he worked his tail off to achieve the good grades that he did, and I can attest to that since I had to do the same to be awarded the President’s List citation: making the Dean’s List four quarters in a row while attending college full-time. But being a white male who ‘worked his tail off’ became anathema to a group of people who believes in the fairytale of Mao’s Little Red Book.

“We lost a generation, or at least half a generation, and it started with the Pentagon Papers. Trouble was, nobody read the book, and those who did didn’t understand the ramifications of a continued support of the Deep State; we failed to comprehend the inherent problems of retired Pentagon employees moving over to the Defense Department’s contractors by pushing what may not be best for our troops but, rather, what’s best for the contractors, and there’s no better example than the V-22 Osprey airplane.

“The Deep State remains alive and well in the swamp: Washington, DC. Maybe what we need in politics are more Talking Dogs who are not afraid to throw Hillary in jail. And if you ever get threatened by a mob of idiots, DO NOT STOP YOUR CAR AND GET OUT or you’ll likely end up like Reginald Denny (3:05). And one more thing: Sears going belly-up makes me wish I was in business school going for my MBA because of all the information available; it would be a piece of cake.  And now I see that our time is up and so, on behalf of the crew, I’ll be wishing you all a goodnight: Goodnight.

“Another great show. Burger time: my treat.”

[*Talking Dog: if you want someone who isn’t afraid of the Muslims and being “politically correct”, you can’t do any better than the Talking Dog”.]

Never Be Anyone Else But You” (1:55)


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