by OPOVV, ©2018

(May 17, 2018) — “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to the show that’s the talk of the water cooler: ‘The Pulse of the Nation.’ Hello, my name is Roving, as in Roving Reporter (RR), and I’ll be your host for this episode, which we’ll start off by doing a little house-cleaning; in other words, letter-reading, a chore that I despise but our editor really likes.

Dear Roving;

We really enjoyed Zork’s explanation of the billions of Muslims wanting nothing more to do than kill us Jews, Christians and all the other worldwide nonbelievers: it’s what they do and have been doing for over a thousand years.

Keep up the good work,

Miss Bernard’s 6th grade class


Dear 6th Graders;

Well, after all, Zork is a teacher. And Zork tells me he really enjoyed beating you all at basketball 49-0 during your recess.




“There, now that’s out of the way, we can start interviewing our neighbors; what do you say we start with this gentleman? Excuse me, sir, care to be on ‘Pulse,’ the informative yet entertaining info-news half-hour on television?”

“Hello, Roving, enjoy the show; watch it with my dog, Fido.”

“No kidding? You really have a dog named Fido? What kind of dog is it?”

“A medium one.”

“Good answer; let me ask you this: did you happen to catch the US Embassy ceremony in Jerusalem the other day?”

“Did I? Wouldn’t have missed it for the world: witnessed history being made. Tears of joy, is what it was, but also tears of sadness.”

“Tears of sadness? In what way?”

“Because Trump kept a campaign promise, that’s why. I mean, talk about upsetting the apple cart; that’s it, isn’t it? Now what, we’re to expect politicians to keep campaign promises? Why, that’ll destroy the whole profession of 10, 20, and 30 plus years of doing nothing except raising the National Debt.”

“But that’s not grounds for impeachment; why, if that was the case, every politician since the beginning of time could’ve been thrown out of office for lying.”

“But they all lie, that is, until Trump. Why, even that de facto Obama said he wanted to move our embassy to Jerusalem, which makes one wonder why those so-called Palestinians rioted, and for what?”

“I’ll tell you ‘for what.’ Because they’re on the chessboard to start with, is why. They’re on the chessboard because of lack of education, which leads directly to lack of opportunity. All those millions of dollars given to the so-called Palestinians went to everything other than hospitals, clinics, daycare, universities, trade schools and libraries. Since the end of World War II, the followers of Islam have been on a collision course with what happens when a people don’t invest for the future: total abject failure*.”

“Okay; you’re right, and here comes my train. It’s been nice to be on your show. Bye.”

“Bye. Well, someone gets it. What? Oh, no, he was just kidding about impeachment; he was making a point. Excuse us while we break for a commercial.”

Rose Garden” (3:00)

“And we’re back, back on our corner across the street from the railroad station. Excuse me, Miss, care to be interviewed on TV?”

“Who are you and what kind of program? Do you give prizes, I mean real prizes, and not some worthless plastic trinket found in a Cracker Jack box?”

“Reminds me of the short story of the ‘Little Boy and his Worthless Cracker Jack Trinket’; ever read it?”

“No; what’s it about?”

“This little boy and his family hire a seaplane to take them camping somewhere in Alaska. The plane takes off and immediately runs into fog; the pilot has a heart attack but manages to land the plane on a lake only to hit a submerged log, ripping open the pontoons; pilot dies as the plane sinks really fast, but the mother, father, sister, boy and dog barely managed to make it out in time. They dog-paddle to shore and, as they’re standing there, contemplating their future, the dog walks up to the little boy and drops something at his feet. The boy bends down and picks up a Cracker Jack box. The father says, ‘Let’s divide the contents,’ and while they’re rationing out the popcorn and nuts, they come across the worthless trinket that ends up saving their lives. The end.”

“You can’t end the story there; what was the prize?”

“You mean the ‘worthless trinket’? It was a little compass.”

“And there’s my train. Goodbye, Mr. Roving.”

“Don’t you want to stick around and hear the moral of the story? I’ll tell you anyway: don’t kick a gift horse in the mouth, is what. What do you say we break for a commercial?”

Old Red” (3:01)

“Okay, ladies and gentlemen, we have a special guest who just walked up. Hello, Talking Dog and Vietnam Vet.”

“The dog says we were on our way to the dog park. The dog says she has time to talk if you care to hear what she has to say, otherwise we’re out of here.”

“No, wait; we’re always glad to have you two. The big news is the embassy, right?”

“Not so big on one hand but very big on another. It means that the USA is just agreeing with the obvious – that Jerusalem is the capital of Israel – while taking yet another step away from the influence of Obama and the Deep State and the influence that Iran had over American politics when the de facto president Obama lorded over the Department of State and the FBI. Look, if it wasn’t for Obama**/Eric Holder/Valerie Jarrett, there would be no Wahhabi Schools, no Muslim Brotherhood, and no CAIR in the United States, and the only reason they’re STILL HERE is that our Attorney General, Jeff Sessions, is a lifelong, full-fledged member of the Swamp/Deep State.

“And now we must be on our way to the dog park.”

“Wait! What about Sweden?”

“Gone; the Sweden that we once knew has vanished, never to be seen again. The stories of old will no longer be told; the works of art no longer seen; the compositions written by gifted composers no longer heard. If they don’t agree to deport every Muslim by 9-11 it’ll be over forever for the Sweden of yesterday, to be replaced with a Sweden where Sharia Law rules. The only thing left that’ll be free in Sweden will be the blood flowing from the rapes, FGMs and all the so-called ‘honor’ beatings, tortures, disfigurements, and murder.”

“A little graphic, aren’t we?”

“My comment was toned-down by a factor of ten, due to the little kiddies watching the program. But this I’ll tell you: imagine the atrocities that occurred within the Chechen schoolhouse in 2004 and then expand that to include the whole country of Sweden when Sharia Law takes effect and the religious police take charge, interpreting the law as they see fit; delivering swift justice with no recourse for acquittal: all verdicts are immediate and final, including pushed off a tall building or hung from the nearest traffic light or beheaded on the spot.”

“Okay, alright already: we get it. So, not to appear rude, but off to the dog park for you two. Let’s say we take a commercial break and then do one last interview?”

Berceuse” (3:18)

“Okay, time for one more. Excuse me, Miss; yes, you there in the ‘Make America Great Again’ hat. Roving here for ‘Pulse,’ the place to go to get at least a kernel of the truth. May we inquire as to your name and what you’re up to today?”

“Name’s Sue and I’m off to work where, by the way, I get to wear my hat.”

“Would you, by chance, be a member of the NRA?”

“You bet, but can I say something before I catch my train?”

“Go for it.”

“You’re in the news, I mean, ‘Pulse’ is the most-watched show in the city; am I right?”

“You’re right.”

“This is what I want to say: remember that slush fund that Congress has to pay off women to keep their mouths shut?”

“I remember.”

“Well, what of it? We don’t hear a word about it anymore, do we? And what about Lois Lerner overstepping her authority while working for the IRS, working for you and me, the American taxpayer? How come she’s not in jail, along with Hillary (along with Obama) who brokered a deal to sneak our yellowcake (uranium) into Iran via Russia? Why don’t you report on something that actually affects people’s lives directly?”

“We think we do our best.”

“Your so-called ‘best’ is broadcasting the wedding in England this weekend, from a town that has a Muslim mayor and will soon be a ‘No-Go Zone’ for the whole city, let alone the whole country. Where’s the so-called ‘truth’ in that, I ask you?”

“We still think we do our best.”

“You know what I think? I’ll tell you what I think. I think the Talking Dog has more sense than all of you put together. Take all the television stations that cover the news, from PBS to CNN; from CBS to FOX NEWS, and the Talking Dog beats them all. And here’s my train. We don’t care about any stupid wedding; what we care about is how come Trump hasn’t fired AG Jeff Sessions and why there’s even one illegal immigrant left in our country? What are we waiting for? How many more Kate Steinles have to be murdered? Goodbye, Mr. Roving.”

“Goodbye, lady, it was a real pleasure. Well, folks, I’m afraid it’s that time again where we wish you all a goodnight: Goodnight.

“Man, at least she didn’t complain about being called a Domestic Terrorist by her membership in the NRA. Burger time: my treat.”

[*total abject failure: they still go around in donkey carts.]

[**Obama: Obama broke the law for Iranian political reasons; Hillary broke the law for money.]

Theme From A Summer Place” (2:24)



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