“WINNING”
by OPOVV, ©2018
(May 10, 2018) — “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to a beautiful day from the corner across the street from the railroad depot. We’re awfully glad you could join us to hear what our neighbors think of current world events. Hello, my name is Roving and I’ll be your host for this episode of ‘Pulse of the Nation,’ the informative TV show that, if you didn’t hear it from us, it’s probably not that important anyway, unless, of course, we’re late or missed it completely, which happens every once in awhile. Not a habit we subscribe to, I assure you. What we do is ask people walking by questions. Excuse me, Miss, care to be on television and answer a question or two? Roving here for ‘Pulse,’ the…”
“The what? Why, you don’t even do the weather. What kind of show are you, anyway?”
“I just did the weather: I reported that it was a beautiful day; what more do you want?”
“What about tomorrow?”
“Another beautiful day, if you’re alive, and if you’re not, what difference would it make?”
“I heard you were wacko. Talking Dog, indeed! Why, I never.”
“Lady, the dog doesn’t do the talking, she just communicates via mental telepathy to the Vietnam Veteran who does the talking. What do you think, that we’re nuts or something?”
“I’m not having any more of this — this conversation with a crazy person. Are we really on television?”
“Yes, we are. So what’s your name and where are you off to today?”
“My name is Liz and I’m off to work.”
“Well, Liz, what do you think of the future of the USA these days?”
“Just look across the street. See that, those two over on the right?”
“Yes, I see two black burqas and a lady wearing a hijab.”
“And there’s your answer to the future of the USA. Good day to you, Mr. Roving.”
“And there she goes, off to catch the commuter train to the big city. What do you say we break for a commercial?”
“How Much Is That Doggie In The Window” (2:37)
“And here we are to accost this person. Excuse me, sir, care to be interviewed on TV?”
“If it isn’t Mr. Roving; how do you do? Name is Bob and I’m a retired surveyor.”
“As in land or opinion?”
“Opinion, or, really, now, whatever results our clients pay for. You know you can get any answer you want by the design of the question. Here’s one that we were asking before the 2016 presidential election: ‘Will you be glad that Hillary won the presidential election?’”
“So a ‘No’ answer was, what, you accepted Hillary as winning?”
“That’s right, which was a big reason why the polls were so far off, but that’s what they were paying for and that’s what they got. But let me tell you what I’m up to these days.”
“Go ahead.”
“’WYET’: stand for ‘WIN-CRY-PET.’ We have these trailers: 60-footers, heated, air-conditioned with rest rooms and cubicles. What do you think of that? We go to malls, schools and wherever we’re needed. We’re booked solid for the next couple of weeks at every university and quite a few colleges, believe it or not.”
“I’m sorry, but I must’ve missed something. Cubicles? For what?”
“Oh, I’m sorry. We borrow old lovable dogs we get from the shelters and use them to relieve the stress of Trump and his winning ways.”
“Let me see if I’m understanding this right: you have a petting zoo on wheels and charge people to relieve their, what, anxieties?”
“Minimal charge of $1.00. And the dogs are adoptable, by the way. Oh, look, here’s my train. Bye. Going downtown to get the business license so we can set up at Northwestern University.”
“Okay; next? And you are?”
“John, and all I got to say is I’ll believe all this ‘The War is Over’ Korean stuff when I receive a Merry Christmas Card from Kim Jong-un. And don’t say it: I know I’m a funny guy, and there’s my train. See you around.”
“But you are a funny guy. Okay; goodbye. Too many wins by Trump, I guess. And look who’s walking up to us: it’s none other than the Talking Dog and the Vietnam Veteran. What’s up, dog and guy?”
“The dog says that Senator John McCain has been an embarrassment to veterans in general and to us NAVY Vietnam Veterans in particular. She also says that McCain hasn’t done the Republican Party and our country a lick of good (dog pun).”
“Yes, so what should he do?”
“Give his seat to J.D. Hayworth, and it doesn’t say much at all for Sarah Palin, who endorsed McCain over J.D.”
“No, it certainly doesn’t. What else is on your mind?”
“Never thought we’d see the great strides about North Korea. One last thing and we’ve got to get to the dog park: the politicians have ruined the countries of Sweden, Germany and England. The European Union is an Islamic tactic to get a foothold into Europe and the rest of the world, which they have succeeded in doing beyond their wildest timeline: they never thought the West was so corrupt, like Hillary, to take money from people who wish to kill you.
“And our politicians are right in line, aren’t they? If we, the people, can plainly see that Muslims are here not to assimilate, why can’t our elected officials and the mentally-challenged bureaucrats?
“You are so right. If we, the people, can figure out that Islam is a political entity that in no way can coexist with any other form of government, why can’t idiots like Schumer, Ryan, Pelosi and McCain? Is that one of the requirements to be an elected official in this country, to be able to take money in the form of political donations in order to get elected? In other words, one just has to be corrupt to get elected. Dog-park time: Bye.”
“And off they go. Petting cubicles to calm the nerves because Trump is making America great again…I hope Morning Joe chokes on it. And so, on behalf of the crew, I’ll be wishing you all a goodnight: Goodnight.
“I like the sound of America winning, don’t you? Burger time: my treat.”
[Ever wonder why Iran is so upset with Trump? If Iran would forget about killing all the Jews and Christians and all the other nonbelievers, there would be no need to acquire a nuclear device. But in order to feed the beast, in order for Islam to survive, it must have killing fields, rivers of blood, for without the hate and the murder Islam would just dry up and wither away. There’s no room for the Golden Rule in Islam. The belief in treating others as you wish to be treated is ANATHEMA to Muslims. These Muslims you see in the United States would like nothing more than to behead you and ‘honor-kill’ your daughter, given less than half a chance. Just ask any of the victims of America’s too few reported Muslim attacks if they think Muslims will ever become Americanized.]
“We Are The Champions” (3:05)