The Contract (RR)


by OPOVV, ©2018

(Mar. 20, 2018) — “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ the info-news show that used to be in the ‘Take Your Chances’ category but has recently been moved to the ‘Now THAT I Believe’ column of ‘Anything Worth Watching On The Idiot Box?’

 Commercial: “Edelweiss” (3:54)

“Hello, my name is Roving, acting as the Master of Ceremonies, and, as you can see, we’re back at the auditorium of our university where Professor Zorkophsky is in town to, presumably, ‘throw his hat into the ring,’ as I believe it’s called. And so, without further ado, it is my great pleasure to introduce to you a retired professor of psychology, a bestselling author, and, until recently, an advisor to our government; and a good friend of mine, Professor Zorkophsky.”

“Thank you, Roving, for the nice introduction. And please call me ‘Zork.’ And yes, I’m out of the Swamp, back home from my sojourn in Washington, DC, the land that may be connected physically to the rest of us, but mentally is as distant as the Andromeda galaxy.

“My ‘Pundit’ contract expired and rather than renew it, I opted for an early out to run for the Representative of the United States, representing the good people of this district. My platform is one of common sense but with a few caveats: first, I believe that the paramount reason we even have a Central/Federal government in the first place is to keep us safe, and the first line of defense, quite obviously, is to protect our borders, from under the ground to far up in the sky.

Commercial: “Man Walks Among Us” (3:14)

“And, furthermore, I plan to expand this protection of the people by arming every woman in the country with a lightweight .357 Magnum revolver that she can carry in her purse or upon her person, as long as she’s qualified, it goes without saying. Furthermore, in any case where a woman files a restraining order, the restrained person will be required to wear some kind of collar or belt that will deliver a taser jolt that will knock them into next Tuesday if they approach their potential victim another 3/8th of an inch.

“I will not entertain any stupid questions about DACA or Dreamers.’ And I’m not going to spend one New York minute on explaining why Islam is no different than the Khmer Rouge, the Nazi Party and Idi Amin’s paranoia: suffice it to say they’re all Draconian and Totalitarian methods of enforcing laws: in Islam’s case it’s called The Sharia;, therefore Islam is a political philosophy and not a ‘religion’*. We’ll have none of that nonsense in our country.

“And speaking of nonsense, the morphing of the political party of JFK into what we have today is the same as teaching a child to read, write and do arithmetic to doing nothing, insuring the continuation of the Welfare State which, by the way, the SPLC endorses: anything to promote Socialism, Agenda 21 and the New World Order.

 Commercial:  “Abraham, Martin and John” (3:22)

“Keeping on The Contract subject, there will be the deportation of every illegal immigrant and Muslim. I’m not going into the definition of ‘illegal immigrant’: it’s quite plain: one is either a citizen or one is not; just as a Muslim is a Muslim or one is not. Now I believe Roving has a few questions for me.”

“Yes, Zork, I do. The members of our audience submitted these questions, by the way. And here’s the first question:  ‘I’m really excited about an honest person in Congress. Does that mean you won’t be taking any contributions from Big Oil? What about from gun manufacturers?’”

“Well, it’s really hard to turn down buckets — well, I guess these days it’s wheelbarrows full of untraceable cash. I don’t have any kids, so it’s harder to hide ‘donations**.

“Look. I know we’re short on time but there’s one more thing I’ve got to say: it’s starting.”

“What’s starting?”

Commercial: “Gosh Golly Gee” (2:20)

“The turning of the tide, so to speak. You see, what happened in the last presidential election was the same thing that happened in Germany when Hitler tried to take over. People were against Adolf, totally. They didn’t want the lies and the bullying, so the first thing the NAZIs did was to control the mainstream media; second thing was to send out gangs of thugs, which is what we’re seeing now.

“The mainstream media isn’t saying diddly about URANIUM ONE and the real Russian connection between Obama-Iran-Hillary-Russians-Uranium. And wasn’t it telling how easily manipulated our high-schoolers were about abolishing the Second Amendment? They have the media and the students: next will be some identifying characteristic, maybe a color or a combination of colors; maybe a hat; maybe an armband, but rest assured they’ll come up with some identifying marker in which to say ‘We’re taking over; try and stop us.’ And, as I’ve said, it’s starting.”

“So what’s next? Armbands?”

“It’ll be something, for sure. Think about this: these idiots who voted for Obama and Hillary and Warren, they either have parents or have kids, but either way millions of families have gone over to the Hitler side of history. Look at California: for every child who was raised believing in Socialism, they have parents and friends who believe the same. And they’re losing, which means their next step is to break and burn (which we’ve seen); beat up strangers (which we’ve seen); to outright murder (while the cops look the other way, reference Donald Young and Seth Rich***. As I’ve said: it’s already started. They’re losing and they’re desperate, and they’ll stop at absolutely nothing to get their way. President Donald Trump wants to destroy the Swamp; THEY ARE THE SWAMP.

“Well, then, what’s the solution? Make them read the Constitution? I’m sorry, but we’ve run out of time. And so, ladies and gentlemen of the audience, and all of you watching at home, on behalf of the crew and Zork, allow me to wish you all a goodnight: Goodnight.

“Good show. Hope we didn’t run over. Burger time: my treat.”

[*religion: give me a break; even the stupid Muslims know Islam isn’t a religion, unless you consider self-destructiveness a method of advancing the human race into extinction. Think about it: if there were no ‘Jews, Christians and all other non-believers,’ who would the Muslims kill? Who would provide the victims for torture? Who would provide the rivers of blood?]

[**donations: mob-speak for pay-offs.]

[***Seth Rich: Look at we can do: we can murder (didn’t even take his wallet) the leaker from the DNC and the mainstream media will ignore the story. See, we can get away with anything because we have the cops and the media on our side.]

[NOTE: When this speech was presented it was not interrupted by commercials. The advertisers placed their ads willy-nilly and the transcript, as sent to The Post & Email, reflects this. Roving and crew are not responsible for poor continuity.]

The Magic Moment” (3:02)


One Response to "The Contract (RR)"

  1. OPOVV   Wednesday, March 21, 2018 at 6:14 AM

    Roving reports that Zork supports the Second Amendment 110% and, therefore, there is no need to be goaded by money from any gun manufactures. Actually, Zork will not, as Trump, accept any donations from anyone at any time for any reason. Zork, unlike the current members of congress, can’t be bought. Zork told me, “I’m not for sale at any price.”

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