“MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL”
by OPOVV, ©2017
(Dec. 25, 2017) — “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to the ‘Pulse of the Nation,’ where we just let our guests say what’s on their minds without fear of being censored. But we’re not on our favorite corner this Christmas Eve; no, we’re back in the church on Hawthorn Street, thanks to the invite by Pastor Dunkin, to celebrate the birth of the Christ child. And thanks to our editor and kind publisher, Sharon, we have most of our regulars on board to help us gain some wisdom on how to make the world a better and safer place, free from the fear of being blown to bits with no warning and, worst of all, for no reason other than to satisfy an insatiable thirst from people who fulfill the requirements to be admitted into a nuthouse for the rest of their lives.
“What we’ll do is call our guests up front to speak their piece. Due to time constraints, we won’t get everyone on the air tonight, but nonetheless; we’ll at least record it all for possible future airing. I’ll now call Madam Shylock up front after the choir sings us a song.”
“The First Noel” (3:05)
“Thank you, Roving. This last year has been a mixed bag, and, if we don’t change our stripes, 2018 will be the same. I don’t have to say that we’ll have more murders by automobiles and trucks, and more senseless massacres such as we just experienced in Las Vegas. And the FBI, CIA, and the DOJ will continue to obstruct, until the time when we consider a public servant taking the 5th (when asked questions about the job for which they were hired) an act of perjury and send him or her immediately to prison. Merry Christmas to all.”
“Thank you, Madam Shylock. Professor Zorkophsky is next after this song.”
“Oh Come, All Ye Faithful” (3:09)
“Thank you, Roving and Merry Christmas to one and all. I’ve just come back from out of the Swamp and I just can’t tell you how refreshing it is to breathe some clean fresh air. America is divided between the patriots and the anti-everythings. And if tomorrow Trump would say that he didn’t want the Wall they say they want the wall; if Trump would want amnesty they say deport the bums; and if Trump would say the UN was the best thing since M&M’s they say get out of it tomorrow and send them all out of the country. Nice seeing you all.”
“Thank you, Zork. Next up is Chief New Leaf after we hear from the choir.”
“Hark! The Herald Angels Sing” (1:52)
“How’s you all doin’? Me, pretty good; I report truth. You no like what I say, take hike, but stay out of parks. I say stay out of parks for a reason: the reason is that, because of Obama and Eric Holder, our parks (including our National Parks) have become easy pickin’s for thieves, pick-pockets and car/truck/RV-jackers. Merry-merry.”
“Thank you, Chief, for the good advice: stay on your toes whenever you leave the homestead. Next up is Molly, our ever-popular sound-boom operator after this Christmas song.”
“Oh Little Town of Bethlehem” (2:39)
“Thank you, Roving, and it’s been a great year. I wish you all a very Merry Christmas.”
“Great speech, Molly. Next we’ll here from Pastor Dunkin after this song.”
“O Holy Night” (3:47)
“Let us pray. The world is at war: Light vs. Dark; Enlightened Ones vs. The Forever Ignorant; and the Minding Our Own Business vs. The Envious Who Covet. Within the big picture there are numerous skirmishes happening all over, and the United States is not alone in her very real problems that the Muslim community is causing. From Australia to Sweden and everywhere in between, people are getting murdered for no reason other than no reason, and if that doesn’t make a lick of sense it’s not supposed to, at least to those of us who can reason. Amen.”
“Great prayer, Pastor, time for one more before our last carol? Hey, look all, it’s that Vietnam Vet with the Talking Dog.”
“The dog says that with every new day is a new beginning and just because things were done a certain way yesterday does not mean the same mistakes have to be repeated today. The dog says that time is measured by planning for the future, which is why FREE SPEECH is the key.
“The dog says that she doesn’t understand why Jesus didn’t lay waste to Pontius Pilate, the Romans who beat him and the rabbis who framed him.
“The dog says those in the Swamp are the same people who took bribes and kickbacks during the time of Jesus and that Jesus reminds them of their consciences, which is why they don’t want to be reminded of Christianity.
“The dog also says that it takes guts to not take money under-the-table even when you need it.
“And the dog says that animals are in heaven, too, but not people who do other people harm, so there’s no worry about seeing any Muslims in heaven.
“Anyway, that’s what the dog says. Now this is what I say: a notice to all the Obots and Socialist supporters, in other words anti-Americans, you’ve pushed it for the last year, with nothing to show for it but egg on your face. And because we’re in a church and it’s Christmas Eve, I’ll just say this: don’t push it.”
“Thank you, Talking Dog and Vietnam Vet. And now it’s time for me, on behalf of the crew, to wish each of you a goodnight, and a very special shout-out to Sharon, our editor, for making the ‘Pulse’ possible: Goodnight.
“Silent Night” (3:17)
“After the service, we’re all invited down to the basement where a Christmas meal will be served. Thanks, one and all for attending. Merry Christmas.”
“Auld Lang Syne” (4:48)