“A SLEEPING GIANT”
by OPOVV, ©2016
(Aug. 17, 2016) — “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘Pulse of the Nation.’ Hello, I’m Chief New Leaf and I’ll be your host for tonight’s show. As you can see, we’re back under the awning across from the railroad station about to bother people going about their day.
“Excuse me, sir. Chief Leaf here.”
“I know who you are. Wife and I watch your show every night. And the dog; can’t forget the dog. Like your buckskins and rifle. You really an Indian Chief?”
“Honest-to-goodness real chief. Now the question: we’ve heard from some really borderline people, especially that presidential candidate for the Libertarian Party, Gary Johnson, who, truth be told, is a ripe candidate for a lobotomy. He says we can’t have a wall on our southern border; he says we can’t deport illegal immigrants.”
“Yes, I know who he is. He was the governor – or still may be, for all know – of New Mexico, I think. He’s the candidate of ‘CAN’T’: ‘Can’t this’ and ‘Can’t that.’
“As if we can’t build the Hoover Dam, the Panama Canal or go to the moon. As if we can’t form the WPA again and have every American go to work and have what’s known as ‘PRIDE.’ As if we can’t pull ourselves up by our bootstraps.
“Well, I got news for the naysayers: WE CAN. And that’s all I’ve got to say since here comes my train. Give my regards to Roving. Bye.”
“Thank you for talking with us. And who’s next in line? Ah, a young lady and her dog. Hello, and where are you off to today?”
“How. We’re going for a train ride. Fi-Fi likes to ride the train. And then we’re going to the zoo. See? Fi-Fi fits into my purse like this and sticks her head out. We like to bark at the lions and tigers.”
“What do the cats think about being barked at? Do you think it’s a good idea to agitate a sleeping giant? You know the old saying: ‘Let sleeping dogs sleep,’ or something like that.”
“I think you make perfect sense. I’ve always heard that Indians were smart, that and like firewater, isn’t that right?”
“I think you are right: smart and like firewater. I used to drink, but it’s been going on 20 years since I had my last drink. As far as being smart, we know about pollution. If you people would attack pollution as you’re attacking this ‘global warming’ nonsense, maybe people would listen to you.”
“I agree with you and so does Fi-Fi. And here comes our train. Let’s go, Fi-Fi. Bye. Oh, I almost forgot: Fi-Fi says dogs will vote 100% for Trump, so if any ‘dog’ votes are counted in Chicago they’ll all be for Trump.”
“Thank you. ‘Dog votes’: you got to love this show. Here comes someone who I’ve seen before. Hello, Vietnam Veteran and dog.”
“How you doing, Chief? And I ditto that.”
“Here’s the question: what’s this about America ‘can’t do this’ and ‘can’t do that’? You believe that?”
“Good question. It’s the difference between desire and taking the easy way out. These so-called ‘wars’ in the Middle East are nothing but the remnants of a failed foreign policy that the government can’t bring itself to admit. And I say the same.
“We can deport 1 or 21 million illegal immigrants. We can deport Muslims, people who ‘honor-kill’ and believe in ‘Kill Jews and Christians wherever Ye may find them.’ I ditto that, too.”
“Well, here’s another one who believes in the ‘CAN DO’ of America. Thanks for talking with us.”
“We say you’re welcome, for sure.”
“I just got to love this job. I see that our time is up, but first I got to say that we give four stars — make that four Gold Stars – to the speech that Trump gave the other night about Law and Order. And so, folks, thank you for watching, and on behalf of my crew, I’ll be wishing you all a good night: Goodnight.
“Good show, guys. So we haven’t found anyone who believes in this ‘can’t’ malarkey. That’s good news. Burger time: my treat.”