by OPOVV, ©2016

(Jan. 1, 2016) — “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.  As you can plainly see by the crowd and the searchlights, we’re out in front of the auditorium where this year’s Best Editorial Awards Ceremony is going to start shortly. The last limousine has just dropped off the last nominee, so let’s go on in and catch the opening remarks.”

“Welcome to the annual Best Editorial Awards Ceremony on this last day of the Year of Our Lord 2015. We are gathered as one voice to stem the tide of stupidity and ignorance. We’ve suffered for 1,400 years at the hands of Muslim sociopathic psychos, and it’s time to put an end to it, and to them, as far as the political philosophy they call Islam is concerned.

“There are many political blogs on the Internet striving to warn of the upcoming battle between the Constitution and Sharia. The battle has already begun, and the enemy — Islam – has made more strides attacking us than we have defending ourselves. Our military accepts Muslims within its ranks, as have our local Men in Blue – police – and in every other segment of our society. Burqa-clad librarians monitor our intellectuals; Muslim men and women working in communications and banking gather more information; in short, every aspect of Americans’ lives is categorized, cataloged and cached until the time comes to target those who are willing to fight and those who will line up, feebly waiting for their bleed-out.

“This year’s nominees are truly the front-runners of their profession. Each writer has his or her own particular style, but irrespective of a particular writing style, the most important aspect of any writer is to instill in the reader a kernel of an idea that will force the reader to look at the facts and not be hampered with any ‘politically-correct’ nonsense.

“Of all the editorials written, one stands above all others because it asks the reader to come clean with his or her conscience. It also asks the question, in a circuitous way: ‘Will you support Trump or be part of the problem that will render our Republic a footnote?’

“All of these six nominees have won vast recognition, and they should be honored so. But there can be only one winner, and only one second place. Second place is awarded to your own Roving Reporter, the star of the popular television show ‘Pulse of the Nation’ for ‘Just What the Doctor Ordered,’ which aired September 18th.

“Congratulations, Roving and crew. And now to the number one editorial of the year: ‘The Witness’ by OPOVV, which aired September 20th. Chief New Leaf, would you please come forward and accept this award? Congratulations, Chief. Would you like to say a few words?”

“Yes. I’m truly honored to accept this award for OPOVV. The basic theme of ‘The Witness’ is that we are all equally responsible for the mess this country is in, and to not recognize this terrible Muslim worldwide threat is to become just as ‘one-can-short-of-a-six-pack,’ as any Muslim is. ‘Kill Jews, Christians and all non-believers wherever Ye may find them’ is a bit much for any rational person, but the Muslims – BY DEFINITION – are not rational, and therein lies the problem with Islam: it is impossible for Islam to coexist with any other political philosophy or, for that matter, any system of governing yet known to man. These people are deranged and deserve to be treated as rabid dogs.

“Allow me to ask you a question: Do you think, for one New York minute, that the wholesale slaughter of the ‘nonbelievers’ in the Middle East won’t happen, someday, right on the street where you live; someday, perhaps in the very near future?

“Obama is just the tip of the corruption that is the USA of today. Take, for example, Hillary Clinton: a mere pawn that’s being controlled by money: the heck with you and me and our country; as long as she’s making money, everything is okay with the world. Would you sell your country down the drain for a billion dollars? $10 billion? I think not, especially looking at being beheaded as your final payment.

“Yet many Americans are selling their soul to the Devil and don’t even know it: Obots, for instance. Islam is a ‘religion’ like the others. Those who want to feel ‘accommodating’ to Muslims, guess what? You are directly responsible for those murdered in San Bernardino the other week. Sleep on that one for a while, if you can.

“I’m getting the signal to go ahead and read ‘The Witness.’ Enjoy:

So I was sleeping and an angel came unto me and took me up to a cloud. He sat me upon a rock and showed me a picture of a factory of death, the result of National Socialism taken to the nth degree. He then proceeded to show me a photograph of a mother, at the edge of a pit, on her knees begging the soldier to throw her baby in the air and bayoneting it as it fell to earth, thereby insuring its death was a swift one.

Next the angel took me to yet another cloud and again sat me upon a rock. The angel said unto me, “The direct result of evil is death; and the direct result of indifference is death; but there is no greater sin than to turn your back on evil and indifference, for the result is to be but a standby witness, having squandered the opportunity to save by denying what was before your eyes: remaining helpless and, therefore, worthless.”

And then I was among others like me: millions knowing evil was among us, seeing pictures of our brothers and sisters beheaded, crucified, drowned, burned alive, slow roasted, cut-in-half with a hand saw, but remaining passive to evil’s intent. We were seated in a giant coliseum, miles long and wide; thousands of feet high, for surely we were in the clouds.

Down below were our representatives: Buddhists; Jews; Shintos; Catholics; Protestants; and all the other believers in the Golden Rule. There were swine and goats, all hoofed animals, and every variety of dog. There were millions of books piled high: the Torah; Bible; Harvard Classics; Golden Books; World Books; Dictionaries; Encyclopedias; and copies of every novel ever written in every language. Another mountain of musical instruments: drums; horns; pianos; woodwinds; harps; accordions and sheet music. A mountain of speakers; radios; short-wave sets; televisions; telescopes; and satellites. A long line of women who were educated, who learned to read: doctors; professors; nurses; teachers; pilots; chemists; writers; publishers; singers; models; actresses; and Chief Executive Officers.

Atop the highest mountain was our Constitution, and staked next to it was the American flag, drooping from its pole.

And at one end of the coliseum was a Muslim who was slowly turning a wheel on a pipe that went deep, and the more the wheel was turned the more black-vile liquid spewed forth, spraying everything with a fine mist of oil.

All was quiet. There were no braying of the burrows; no barking of the dogs; no wailings from the people. The only sound was the gushing of the oil from the bowels of the earth.

I sat there, as all the millions of others surrounding me, transfixed at the spectacle before us. And we watched as an angel flew around the coliseum, from row to row; person to person, stopping and staring at the soul of each. And when the angel came to unto me, he offered me a book of matches and said, “You’re as guilty as any of the others, perhaps more so, because you saw the past and can extrapolate the future. You light the fire that will extinguish any chance for the human race to reach for the stars. You carry the weight for it is you who are the witness.”

And then I awoke, glad to be off the cloud, and yet I cried because I saw our future when millions of people like me do nothing.

“Ladies and gentlemen, we just now learned that OPOVV and Chief New Leaf are one and the same, and since it’s no crime voting for yourself, the results stand. Congratulations, OPOVV.

“That concludes the Award Ceremony for the year, 2015. Thank you for watching. Everyone is invited for burgers in the lobby. Roving’s treat.”

“Roving here. Yes, I can see why ‘The Witness’ won the coveted award. The least you can do is to vote for Trump, and get yourself and all your family members armed to the teeth, for who knows who your enemy of tomorrow may be besides the already millions of Muslims in our country? There’s just no excuse to ‘wish-you-had-a-gun’ when you need one. This is your Roving Reporter and crew from the Awards Ceremony saying goodnight: Goodnight.”

“Hey, we came in second place: next year we win. Let’s go to the lobby and grab some burgers. As the MC said: my treat.”

Semper Fi


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