Professor Ahmad (RR)


by OPOVV, ©2015

(Sep. 22, 2015) — “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. Welcome to yet another episode of Roving Reporter. We’re here in the basement of the ‘Better Living Through Chemistry’ building here at the university. What we’re going to witness may not be entirely proper and above the law, but it’ll be entertaining, I bet.

“Standing next to me is the well-known author of ‘Better Dreams From a Pill,’ 27 weeks as the #1 Non-fiction Best-Seller, Dr. Professor Goldman.  Professor, what are you going to show us tonight?”

“No, no. You must address me as ‘Dr. Goldman.’ ‘Professor’ is my given name, just as yours is “Roving,’ yes?  So I am ‘Mr. Professor Goldman.’ Ever read ‘Catch-22’? So did my parents. I rest my case.”

“Okay, Dr. Goldman, you said you had something that’s going to be worthwhile for us. What gives?”

“Ha, ha. ‘What gives’? This American English is just too much. I tell you ‘what gives’: every time we get a new professor we have a luncheon. Today we welcome Muslim from Egypt, Professor Ahmad, it is, to our Antiquities Department: mummies and such.  So during this luncheon, on his rice pilaf, I slip, is that how you say?, a couple drops of my new ‘Truth Serum.’ Ah-ah. Funny, no?

“So I say to him, ‘Welcome. Please visit my department after lunch in basement. I’ll be waiting for you with my friend, Roving, and his crew. Very nice. Very much fun, you-bet-your-life. You must visit.’ And then I call you. I say, ‘Surprise for you, Mr. Roving. Come at once.’ And here you are.

“Look, here he comes now.

“Welcome, Professor Ahmad. Please, sit. My assistant, my daughter, by the way, will serve us tea; will that be satisfactory? This here is Mr. Roving and his crew: cameraman and sound lady.

“Got a shot of George Dickel Tennessee sip’ng whiskey?”

“As a matter of fact, I do. Let’s all have a seat and my daughter will serve us. Now, Professor Ahmad, how do you like it here so far?”

“How can I like it here in this ‘Den of Infidels’? You are all non-believers, and as if that’s not bad enough, you’re all so stupid. We tell you we want to rule you; fly flag of Islam over White House; we carry posters and you show them on the front page of your newspapers: ‘ISLAM WILL RULE THE WORLD’, and you not believe us.

“We’re killing all the Christians in the Middle East. We even video Muslims beheading and killing in various ways and show them to you on prime-time, and on Sunday you play your football. What, you no believe us?

“We have a Muslim in the White House, and your stupid Obots act like there’s no Muslim in the White House. How stupid are you people, anyway?

“Islam comes before your un-Islamic Constitution. There are no ‘American Muslims,’ impossible! Don’t you get it? It’s Islam and nothing but! So stop this ‘accept religion’ total idiocy. We’re not buying it because you’re not selling it. Islam shares the stage with no one. So there is no Constitution with Islam. How dumb are you stupid people?

“We used to hate you because you were non-believers, but now we hate you because you don’t listen. PAY ATTENTION! More whiskey, please. Bring bottle! Shots are for little girls. Men chug from bottle, like this.

“I was suppose to play the ‘Moderate-Muslim-Card.’ Guess what? There is no such thing! Listen! ‘Moderate Muslim’ a hoax! Ha, ha. I no joke, but the joke is on you.

“Listen: we take over Europe because we infiltrate every country, just like we’re doing to your country. Heck, I’m one of them. Yes! Listen! I’m here, aren’t I? Ha, ha. Hundreds every day, and well-financed, this I can tell you. We buy used car lots and rug stores. We buy stocks and go to shareholder meetings and place our people in power.

“Listen! You people play ‘Is he a Muslim or not’ silly game. Too late. How many Muslims are in your Army, do you think? Thousands! I mean thousands! It is true.

“You get on Ben Carson for telling truth, and then he backtracks and says that he’ll support a president ‘with a Muslim background’!  Ha, ha. You have nobody in your country not afraid to speak the truth. Maybe a few, but mostly you’re all scaredy-cats. Afraid to be ‘Anti-Muslim’; ‘Anti-religion.’ Your country has no integrity, that’s what. You people cave at the slightest criticism. You have them there homosexuals in your military you’re so out of kilter. America is no more respected. Obama has done his job excellently.

“Listen! You lost it somewhere between what is right and what was expedient, and you took the easy way out. And soon you will have lost your country. We tell you exactly what we’re going to do to you and exactly how we’re going to do it and you let us use your laws to destroy you, you are so stupid, just as the Germans were when they allowed Hitler to destroy their country. Ha, ha!

“Want to hear more funny? I tell you. Listen! Obama has been Muslim all of his life. Look at his school record from Indonesia: religion: Islam. Ha, ha. And his birth certificate has always been a fake, but this you know and you still treat him as your president when all he is, well, he is, and that’s all I’m going to say on the subject.

“How’d I get in here? Where am I? And who are you?”

“Ah, my name is ‘Roving,’ and we’re out of here.

“That’s a wrap, Let’s hightail it back to the office pronto. Oh, goodnight and thanks for watching. Goodnight.”

Semper Fi


One Response to "Professor Ahmad (RR)"

  1. Robert Laity   Wednesday, September 23, 2015 at 7:11 AM

    See: “What Islam is NOT” and “FIITNA”. See also: “Dar-el-Salam

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