by OPOVV, ©2015

(Sep. 18, 2015) — “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. As you can see, we’re back at the university, this time to interview the great Jewish scholar, Professor Zeveriah Ezekiel. Welcome to the show, Professor.”

“Call me Bart.”

“Pardon me?”

“I like ‘Bart.’ Makes me feel like I’m a cowboy, or maybe walking in the footsteps of Matt Dillon. Maybe a little more American. I require my students to address me as ‘Professor Mr. Bart.’ Now I’m not discounting my Jewishness by any means. I have relatives over there, on one of those settlements, as a matter of fact. So you want to know what I thought of the debate on CNN last night, right?”

“Actually, I wanted to ask you about Iran getting nukes.”

“Never happen. My role here at the university is to teach the students the parallels between the Torah and the Constitution. About God seeing men and women as part of the whole; that nobody is above God’s Law; everyone is to be treated equally, rich and poor alike, and it’s the responsibility of the smart ones to protect the not-so-smart ones.

“This current quarter has to be the most satisfying of my career. Not only do we get to see the election process in motion, but we get to experience just what the Founding Fathers had in mind: the gentleman businessman taking time off to serve his county, then, when his term is up, he goes back into the private sector. Just what the doctor ordered.

‘A couple of years ago there was a presidential candidate who was saying the same things Trump is saying, but a little bit more, like won’t take any pay, maybe $1.00 a year; no vacations; no perks: all he wanted was the chance to set this country back on an even keel and get out. Four years with not one second spent on any reelection nonsense. He said he’d deport every illegal immigrant and every Muslim, and then use the military to go up to Canada and kick all of their Muslims out and so on through Europe.

“Okay, maybe he would’ve had the time to clear all of Europe, but certainly the USA, Canada and Great Britain. He was a write-in and actually got a couple of votes. And he wouldn’t take one penny of any campaign contributions. He said that if anyone wanted to contribute give the money to the ASPCA.

“We followed his campaign from day to day and read his editorials in that internet newspaper, The Post & Email. He tried to get in on the debates but they wouldn’t let him on the stage. Afraid he’d bring up Obama’s ineligibility.

“This is a little-known fact, but we had him come up here to give one of his speeches. He had this rule that you had to have a gun, a weapon on you, in order to get into one of his speeches, but he waived that rule here. When he got on the stage, he requested everyone draw a weapon and that would be good enough. Then he had everyone show what they drew and that got a lot of laughs. One guy drew a Trident Submarine; a girl drew a cruise missile; we had battleships and tanks; shotguns and crossbows; we even had a Tiger Pit.

“That got a lot of laughs; made everyone relaxed. Tough crowd, college students. Bunch of Left-Wing-Socialist Zombies, but he just said what he’d been writing in his editorials: girls given a .357 Magnum revolver upon graduating from high school, to start. Then he went on about girls getting raped, tortured and murdered, and then he went on about girls getting raped, tortured and murdered by Muslims all over the world, Sweden in particular, and then England and so on: every country that there are Muslims in particular.

“And then he went on about the only thing that mattered was our Constitution, and that was it. Got a standing ovation and off he went. Made everyone promise to watch the movie ‘FITNA,’ by the way.

“Anyway, the reason why I brought him up was that Trump reminded me of him. Matter-of-fact, I just got off the phone with him before you showed up and I asked him about Trump. He said that he supports Trump but it’s too bad Trump isn’t ex-military. And then he said if Trump says he’ll get the best people to fight the war against Islam, he’ll back him 100%.

“So, that’s about all I have to say on that subject and I’ve got a class to attend to, so if you’ll excuse me, I’ll be on my way.

“Oh, almost forgot: wife likes your show. Goodbye.”

“Thank you, Professor Mr. Bart. Well, I guess Iran won’t get a nuke after all. And he’s right-on about how the Founding Fathers envisioned our politicians: get in, do the job, and go home. Kind-of like our military, at least when we used to win wars. When’s the last time we won a war? World War II? Maybe under Trump we’ll start wining wars. I’ve heard Trump speak about deporting illegal immigrants, but I haven’t heard him say one word about deporting the people who want nothing more than to behead us.

“Well, give him some time. Certainly Hillary or Sanders don’t — and won’t –have the gumption to do what’s right for America. We hope Trump will continue to stand up for what’s right for America rather than what’s politically expedient for, who, the Fed? The RNC? We’ll see.

“Meanwhile, good interview. I really like it when I don’t have to squeeze every last word out of them. Just let them talk. I bet this university didn’t know they had a real, honest-to-goodness presidential candidate giving a pep-rally in one of their classrooms in 2011.

“Well, thanks for watching our show. This is your Roving Reporter saying goodnight. Oh, almost forgot. Every cell phone has an answering machine. Use it. Don’t use you  phone when driving. In Europe it’s a $500 fine, first offense. Goodnight.”

“Great show, guys. Let’s grab a burger, my treat.”

Semper Fi


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  1. I lived in Texas for several years and was very impressed with how their PART-TIME government worked. Services were good, roads were taken care of, etc. What surprises me is that one of the largest states can run with a part-time government, but Delaware needs a full-time government.