by Pastor Dunkin, ©2026
(Apr. 26, 2026) — As the house lights dim, the curtain opens to “Theme from Shane” (2:53) to a stage set as an office: imposing desk right of center, further right large rubber plant, backdrop is rows of windows overlooking a city skyline; water cooler and coffee machine on table left of center with one chair, center, facing the desk. Behind the desk sits a severe spinster-looking woman of an indiscriminate age, black-rimmed thick glasses with tight short ponytail in crisp white blouse. As the music ends a well-dressed middle-aged man enters the office, stage left.
“Please sit. I’ll be interviewing you for the job for which you are applying. I want to make it absolutely clear that you know what you are getting yourself into.”
“I believe I’m qualified.”
“That remains to be seen. I see you passed the cognitive test.”
“Yes, with flying colors. I’m very smart.”
“Unfortunately, being smart is not one of the requirements for the job for which you are applying. The last holder of the job was as dumb as a doornail.”
“Yes, I agree. He was perpetually ‘out to lunch.’ He also couldn’t find his way off a stage.”
“That may be true, the stage part, I mean. It says here on your application that you are a developer. Ever cut corners on building codes?”
“No, never. I always build above code. For instance, if a hurricane strap required four nails, I nail five.”
“But that cost more.”
“Yes, it does; my buildings are the best buildings. I believe that ‘Quality is King,’ as my father believed.”
“I see. This job involves at least a passing knowledge of the Constitution.”
“I understand. I also understand that Barry Soetoro, aka Obama, and Miss Cackle were pretty ‘Dumb Bunnies’ when it comes to the law.”
“Unfortunately, that is true, especially Miss Cackle’s total failure to secure the border.”
“I will secure the border, for sure.”
“That is good if you’re a patriot; if not, if you wish to destroy the country, not so good. (Phone rings.) Excuse me while I take this call.”
“A Little Good News” (3:08)
“Sorry ‘bout that. The caller asks about owing people, paying them back in the form of favors, maybe government contracts.”
“I cannot be bought. I am beholden to no man.”
“I see. That, unfortunately, poses a problem.”
“In what way?”
“If you can’t be bought – paid off – you can’t be controlled, and if you can’t be controlled people will despise you for ‘not playing the game’ the way the game has been played in Washington for the past 250 years.”
“That’s the problem I will try to correct.”
“By ‘correcting’ you mean to put an end to the gravy train.”
“That’s exactly what I mean.”
“But the whole system is built on bribes and kickbacks, let alone insider trading.”
“I will stop that.”
“Then you will open yourself up to criticism.”
“I can take it.”
“Here’s the thing: most people are small-minded. Let’s take a bribe-prone senator, say, Mitch McConnell, who has benefited from the current system for over three decades – kickbacks, bribes, payoffs – and you bring it all to a screeching halt; what then? Oh, his voters will never get one red cent of McConnell’s ill-gotten gains, but they’ll hem and haw, even cry about it, and some, mind you, may become violent.”
“I’m sorry if they’ll feel that way.”
“What about the Democratic Socialist Party of the United States? They’ll go bankrupt if they can’t get their kickbacks from China.”
“Nothing to do with me.”
“Maybe not, but they’ll blame you just the same.”
“I feel I have a job to do, and I’ll do it the correct way: no bribes. I can’t be bought.”
“And I believe you; however, that poses a problem.”
“Why’s that?”
“Why, the ‘Gravy Train’ problem. You want to stop it and the rest of Washingron doesn’t; it’s that simple. The FAKE NEWS will crucify you; you know that, don’t you?”
“Yes, the FAKE NEWS, such as ‘The View,’ will spout off anti-America lies as if they’re the greatest patriots in history.”
“Which they are not, but the ignorant and the stupid out there will swallow the lies, hook, line and sinker, just the same. Remember the ‘Russia Collusion’ and ‘Jan. 6 Insurrection’ hoaxes? There’s no barrier against stupid people, and stupid people tend to resort to violence as a problem-solving technique. Just look at the ghettos.”
“I believe you are right.”
“Okay, I approve of you since you seem to know what you’re getting yourself into. Good luck.”
“Thank you.”
The curtain lowers as the house lights brighten to the song of “Everybody’s Talkin’” (2:45).
FINI