by Pastor Dunkin, ©2026
(Mar. 19, 2026) — “Chain Gang” (2:34)
“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ the place to hear it hear first. In our continuing series of ‘Unusual Occupations,’ we’ve invited Mr. David McCarthy to be our featured speaker. Welcome to ‘Pulse,’ the most-viewed information show in its time slot.”
“I don’t know if I like it here.”
“Why would that be?”
“Because ‘Pulse’ has the reputation for telling the truth, that’s why.”
“But that’s what information is all about, or at least should be.”
“Not if you’re a Democrat. I believe in ‘Russian Collusion,’ not the ‘Russian Collusion Hoax.’”
“At least you’re honest about your ailment.”
“Ailment?”
“By being a Dem and all. The ‘2020 election was the most honest ever’ type of mental disorder.”
“Look, I didn’t come on this show to get browbeat.”
“I’m sorry; I’m sure you didn’t. Please tell our audience what is it you do for a living.”
“Very well. I hire prison workers, from wardens to the cooks.”
“Interesting, but why would prisons be so selective as to need a designated headhunter?”
“Because prisons nowadays are the main recruiting centers for Islam. Wardens must be qualified Imams and the food preparers must be certified Halal cooks, that’s why.”
“At least you’re honest about it. Anything else we should know about?”
“Well, when I hire guards, I ensure that they have sales experience.”
“Why would prison guards need experience in sales?”
“Because they are the ones who push the prayer rugs and all the other doodads that all good Muslims require, that’s why. The more they sell, the more they make. I sell the guards prayer rugs at $10 each and they keep whatever they can get away with. Usually they make $50 per rug.”
“And you have your fingers in all of our prisons?”
“Every one. Now before you jump to conclusions, I must spread the wealth around to governors and politicians along the way; understand?”
“No hot dogs?”
“Funny. No dogs, bacon or ham.”
“How mush extra does a Halal meal cost?”
“Only $5 per meal per inmate. You do the math. I just make 20%.”
“Anything else?”
“I am the sole provider of the public address systems for our prisons.”
“So? Why would prisons need a specialized public address system?”
“Think about it: high-quality amps driving high-quality speakers in every cell.”
“I get it, so the inmates never miss prayer.”
“You got it. Five times a day.”
“One last question: Muslims want to kill us: Americans, Christians and Jews. You seem to be helping them; why is that?”
“I’m a Democrat; I hate America, just like Senator Chuck Schumer and all the others. ‘Orange Man Bad’ is my bumper sticker.”
“But don’t you have a conscience? Don’t you care about anything? What about all those graves in our national cemeteries?”
“So what? I’m a Dem, so I don’t care about my country, least of all a bunch of darn fools who joined the military. So, they died; people die in war. Not my problem.”
“I guess not. I see that our time is up, so this is Pastor Dunkin, along with David, a Dem, wishing everyone a goodnight: Goodnight.
“Good show. Thank you for at least being honest about what you do. Bye.”
[Note: We don’t want Sen. Markwayne Mullin in our government in any capacity whatsoever.]
“Lyin’ Eyes” (4:15)
Pastor Dunkin