by Pastor Dunkin, ©2026
(Mar. 18, 2026) — “Newly released plans for future NAVY ships will be required to have a maternity ward and a nursery. The added cost will be in the neighborhood of $250 million per ship, triple the cost per sub. Asked about the additional expense, a Pentagon spokesman said that the Secretary of War is very comfortable with women aboard NAVY ships and is looking forward to the day when the male-to-female ratio is equal.”
“Put Your Head on My Shoulder” (2:34)
“And that’s my opening. Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to The Pulse of the Nation,’ the place to hear it here first. Our featured guest is a naval architect who has some rather startling information to share with us. Please tell us your name and what your job is.”
“Thank you for having me. Hi, mom.”
“I’m sorry, but saying hello to your mother isn’t allowed.”
“But I just did.”
“Yes, we know you just did, but it’s still not allowed.”
“Then I’ll take it back.”
“Too late; you can’t take it back because you already said it. Of course, if you say you’re sorry, that would be a start.”
“Then how about this: I’ll say a deep heartfelt pretend ‘Sorry.’ Will that work?”
“Enough of this. What do you do for the NAVY?”
“I design soundproof compartments, is what I do. The NAVY contacted me to design a maternity ward for a submarine so that when a baby cries that sound wouldn’t be transmitted outside the sub. Not as easy as it sounds.”
“Was that a pun? No puns allowed.”
“The name’s Walter and I’m a sound engineer. I work in SONAR, Sound Navigation and Ranging.”
“Interesting job?”
“Very, especially with a room full of crying kids.”
“I see. You’re not a father?”
“After listening to crying babies on headphones eight hours a day for the past couple of years, no, and I don’t want to be.”
“Tell us, were you successful in muting a nursery full of crying babies?”
“Only to the point of banning women from NAVY ships; until then, forget it.”
“Forget it?”
“Forget it. Can’t be done. It’s the energetic high-pitched sound waves that are impossible to isolate; simple as that. The only sure-fire solution is to ban women from stepping foot on NAVY ships.”
“That’s it? That’s the best you came up with?”
“Yep, bottom line is to keep women off NAVY ships.”
“Well, you heard it from the horse’s mouth, ‘Keep Women off NAVY ships.’ Seems rational to me. This is your favorite pastor wishing each of you a goodnight: Goodnight.
“Good show. Hey, Walter, care for a burger? My treat.”
“Blue Moon” (2:11)
Pastor Dunkin
I agree with this editorial (transcript of the show). I’d like to add my 2-cent’s worth.
Here’s the thing: there’s no sugarcoating it; there’s no beating around the bush. It’s a cut and dry subject. It’s not a question of ability. It’s not a question of stamina nor strength.
It is, however, a question of “BOTTOM LINE” reality which is reality down to the brass tacks. It is reality when nothing else is left. It is, in short, the truth.
Cut it anyway you want, all that’s left is battle stations manned, possible fires and flooding, stressful environment to the nth degree where there is no time nor place for hesitation or division of the sexes.
No time. No place.
I’ll repeat it for you so you’re sure to understand.
No time. No place for women aboard NAVY fighting ships.
Understand now? It’s not a question of ability; it’s a question of survivability. It really is that basic. No women on NAVY ships. Seriously. For real or else replace the Secretary of War with someone who can actually do the job.