Burn Your Burqa

by Thomas Reiner, Quartz Mountain Commentary, ©2026

(Mar. 10, 2026) — In the sixties, Western women were urged to burn their bras to protest the freedoms they already enjoyed. It is time for the women of Iran to join their pioneering American sisters and burn their burqas for the freedoms lost and denied them from grizzly old mullahs.

After forty-seven years of warfare by the Iranian mullahs against America, our forty-seventh President Trump is offering liberation to the Iranian people, especially Iranian women. They have a chance to get an education and contribute to their rich Persian culture rather than just birthing babies for their silly Koran-thumping intolerant husbands who deny them their freedom.

Welcome to Al Lahu’s Snack Bar. Ole Iranian Al’s Restaurant has been serving death and destruction since the overthrow of the Iranian Shah in 1979. Their crimes range from the holding of 52 Americans hostages for 444 days to their massacre of 30,000 Iranian countrymen several weeks ago. The Ayatollahs have been lying and cheating while they cook up schemes to murder Americans and Israelis. Their upcoming lunch special was to serve eleven nuclear weapons to the Kafir from the 460 kilograms of 60%-grade uranium that they whipped up in their nuclear centrifuges. Our Lightbringer, President Obama, allowed that to happen as he literally bowed down to the mullahs and sent them a plane with billions of dollars as he looked the other way. Luckily for the world, their specialties have given President Trump, who has ordered these Iranian delights off the menu, indigestion.

Al’s Snack Bar has gained so much popularity amongst hungry terrorists that it has been franchising like crazy. Some of the more popular Snack Bar spinoffs have been the Hamas Ham Sandwich Palace, Hezbollah Heaven, and the ever fan favorite, the Hungry Houthi. They had been serving hateful entries until they were put out of business by their two main competitors: Mean Mossad’s Grinders and Donald’s Dirt Bomb Delites. Both the grinders and dirt bombs (an actual dessert) are absolutely delicious. Al’s special this week is intolerance and murder. Come get a big pile of it. However, next week’s special is scheduled to be Mullah Stew as the Snack Bar goes out of business.

Maybe the best path for peace is to revert Iran back to its original name and cultural heritage which is Persia. Persians are a remarkable people who have been placed under the boots of the Maniacal Mullahs which is definitely not a Country-and-Western band. Persians need to lose their fear and regain control of their country. The women of Persia should heave “The Burning Burqa” and relinquish them to the Ayatollahs who already look like a gaggle of transvestites with their silly robes. Invite them to their own rooftop garden party like they have done to countless LBTQish people.

Honor the 30,000 martyrs with 300,000 Persian Patriots eager to restore their rich cultural heritage. President Trump needs to send 10,000 New Hampshire license plates whose motto is “Live Free or Die” to Persia as a reminder of who they are. In the sixties and seventies, Iran was known as the terminus of “The Hippie Highway.” It was a great place to be and it can regain such greatness once more. Make Persia Great Again!