by Henry, ©2025
(Dec. 13, 2025) — “Welcome to the land of separate realities: NAVY bootcamp where you have the right way; you have the wrong way; and then you have your NAVY way. The NAVY way is based on the premise that two wrongs equal a right, but they take it a few steps beyond two and make it three, five, seven wrongs to get it right, which happens so seldom that movies are made of it; reference the Battle of Midway, 1942. We get upset with men in women’s sports but don’t bat an eye with women aboard NAVY ships.”
“Moon River” (3:14)
“And that’s my opening. Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ the place to hear it here first. With us as our featured guest is Professor Zorkophsky, the bestselling author of psychiatry textbooks for the layman psychiatrist. From reading your bio, Professor, it says you served in the NAVY. Welcome aboard. Any thoughts about women aboard NAVY ships?”
“Thank you for inviting me to be a part of your most popular information show in its time slot; it really is an honor. I’m glad you brought the subject up about women on NAVY ships, because I recently wrote a play titled, ‘Can’t It Wait?’ It’s about a carrier group that sails off to war, but when the shootin’ is about to start the admiral calls the enemy and asks for a postponement because of ‘irritability issues’ with half his crew.”
“That doesn’t sound like it’s politically correct somehow.”
“No, it doesn’t. Never thought of that. Anyway, it got mixed reviews. Some said I wrote a tragedy while others thought it was a comedy.”
“What do you think it is?”
“I thought it was a travesty, but then what do I know? I’m not a play critic; I’m just the writer.”
“Well, then, why don’t you let us be the judge?”
“I’m sorry; I don’t have a clip of the play, but I can tell you the ending, that is, if you’d like to hear it. I mean, I wouldn’t want to spoil it for anyone.”
“I’m sure our audience can handle it.”
“Well, then, the long and short of it is the Americans have to surrender or get sunk; that’s it. Nobody gets hurt.”
“But we get taken over by the Chinese and the women finally get kicked off the ships anyway; is that the ending?”
“I’m afraid so. You see, there’s no benefit from wokeness or DEI, none whatsoever.”
“So, if there’s nothing to be gained by having women aboard NAVY ships, what’s the point?”
“Exactly, just what real NAVY men have been trying to explain to a foxhole digger since the day he was sworn in as the Secretary of War. Think of it as ‘talking to the cat’ and you’ll understand the frustration.”
“Waste of time?”
“You better believe it. Pete Hegseth’s stubbornness is not in the NAVY’s beat interest, I’m sorry to have to say.”
“Very well; we’ll pause for a short commercial break.”
“Put Your Head on My Shoulder” (2:33)
“And we’re back with Professor Zorkophsky, who was making a case for men only aboard the NAVY ships at sea.”
“Yes, that is true. Look, I’m not about to waste our time rehashing the obvious. Let me say that common sense at some point must mean something. Some people are weak, afraid to be called a ‘chauvinist pig,’ and I understand that, but at some point the adults in the room must say what needs to be said. Politicians are afraid to lose votes; we should be afraid to lose our country. That’s all I’ve got to say, thank you.”
“And that’s all the time we have. This is Henry, along with Zork, wishing each of you a goodnight.
“Good show. Burger time: my treat.”
“Since I Don’t Have You” (2:39)