Professor Wert’s New Children’s Book (RR)

by Henry, ©2025

(Jun. 20, 2025) — “Here, There, And Everywhere” (2:24)

“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ the place to hear it here first. Professor Wert is here to hawk his latest book. I understand you want to skip the introduction and start off by reading from your new book, is that right? Well, okay, then, start reading.”

“We are on a spaceship called earth. We are not alone on this journey among the stars. Accompanying us are lice and fleas, groundhogs and rosebushes, and a slew of others, the point being that there’s a symbiosis between creatures that reproduce. All that a blade of grass has with a shard of obsidian is that they share the same satellite to the nearest star that we call Sol.

“Some imagine some sort of contest going on, like in 10 billion years earth will cross the finish line and whatever is alive wins. I’m betting on the common cold virus. All kidding aside, we can cheat the table, so to speak. We can travel to other satellites if we want to. I want to. The moon was a good first step.

“Now, as far as we know, elephants are not known for traveling all over the place quickly. For instance, you and I can get in a car and drive 500 miles in a day, or hop a plane and fly across an ocean in even less time. So let’s leave the traveling to us humans.

“Every year archeologists discover something older than the year before. Humans lived here 12,000 years ago, then it’s humans lived over there 15,000 years ago. I’ve a premonition that underwater archeology will discover even earlier sites and that surveys of the moon will discover hundred of thousands years before us. I think the point is that we don’t quite have our act together and maybe never will.

“I mention the moon to cushion the shock that we’ll discover it was we who were the little guys with the big eyes. We are, in short, our own worst enemy, but I’m afraid it’s a lesson we may never learn since we tend to squander our resources on either living offensively or defensively.”

“Excuse me, please, but we must pause for a short commercial break. Be right back; don’t go anywhere.”

“You’re Sixteen” (2:01)

“You were mentioning about wasted resources spent defensively. Would you care to be more specific?”

“For sure. Let me throw out a few well-known Secretaries of State such as Walter T. Mosley of New York, Jocelyn Benson of Michigan, Adrian Fontes of Arizona  and the one who incarcerated Tina Peters, Gina Griswold of Colorado.  All of them, if they were to do their jobs by upholding the Constitution, would have arrested their respective governors and then themselves.”

“We couldn’t agree with you any more than we already do, believe me.”

“I believe you, Henry. Anyway, I wanted to show the little kiddies that our interpretations of the past keep on being upgraded due to new discoveries. In other words, the past keeps on rewriting itself.”

“Sounds exciting. It kind-of takes the ‘Alien Theory’ off the shelf, at least visitations from ‘out beyond.’“

“Yes, I think you’re on the right track that we shouldn’t be so self-centered to think we’re the first and only possible civilization that ever graced our planet. Let me ask you this: if we’re so smart, how come we haven’t figured out how the pyramids were built?”

“Now that’s a good question. Peru, too.”

“In the last chapter of my book I discuss divorce. I tell the little ones that even though daddy isn’t around anymore, it doesn’t mean he doesn’t still love mommy. Sometimes it’s mommy who doesn’t want daddy around so daddy divorces mommy because he wants to make mommy happy.”

“You sound like you’ve talked with Professor Zorkophsky.”

“I have, and you know what he said? He said that dreaming of loved ones is healthy because in dreams you can be yourself and not hold anything back so when you wake you may be sad, but at least you have clarity.”

“Clarity?”

“The truth.”

“I see. Well, I’m sure we’ve all enjoyed our talk with Professor Zorkophsky and wish him well on the success of his latest book. By the way, what’s the title?”

“The title is, ‘Maybe We’re Repeating Ourselves,’ in hardcover and also in a coloring-book format, wherever good books are sold.”

“I’m sure. Well, interesting discussion, but I’m afraid that’s all the time we have so this is Henry, along with Professor Zork, wishing all of you a goodnight: Goodnight.

“Good show. The Egyptians sure must have had some kind of governing system to last over ten thousand years. I think that they took their religion a little more seriously than people do today. Anyway, obviously it worked until Cleopatra rolled the dice and lost. The Romans won. Look, there’s some cartons of Chinese food in the ‘fridge in the break room, one of them marked ‘fish bait.’  I’m going out back to the picnic table; meet you there.”

“You Belong to Me” (2:51)