by Roving Reporter, ©2025
(Feb. 23, 2025) — “Because” (2:23)
“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ the place to hear it here first. We’re in for a treat because we find ourselves up in the balcony of Bishop Dunkin’s little church down on Hawthorn Street. As usual, the place is packed and we’re seeing the parishioners carrying more rifles than ever before. I guess you already know that to enter this church you must show a loaded gun. This church, as we here at ‘Pulse,’ believes that being unarmed and helpless is being unarmed and helpless, and we’re not having it. We believe that if Laken Riley were armed, if she had carried a lightweight .357 Magnum revolver to protect herself from any of Biden and Kamala’s illegal immigrants, she’d still have a bright future as a registered nurse instead of being six feet under. Look, Bishop Dunkin just stepped behind the pulpit, so let’s listen in.”
“Welcome, one and all. I guess you all know that ‘Pulse’ is recording live from the balcony, so if any of you nod off during my sermon please refrain from snoring — (sounds of laughter). Please stand and join our most excellent choir as you turn to page 262 in the hymnal.”
“Bringing in the Sheaves” (2:59)
“That was just great, thank you; please be seated. You’re all welcome to join us in the basement afterwards to partake in dogs and burgers. I understand that Edith Smith made her famous fudge cake so better not miss out on a good thing. Now to my sermon, ‘The Very Last Straw: a baby boy beaten to death,’ which, from talking to many of you, will be received with common sense.
“We are all aware of the history of the ‘Holocaust,’ of how powerful indoctrination can be, just as we know that the excuse of ‘I was just following orders’ doesn’t cut it. Remember that FBI raid on Mar-a-Lago? I think they had orders to kill President Trump and Barron, and we must thank our lucky stars that the Trumps weren’t home during that ILLEGAL raid.
“And speaking of raids, that’s what happened on October 7, isn’t it? Here’s a thought: of all the nuclear submarines and aircraft carriers, of all the F-22 Raptors and B-2 bombers in our nation’s arsenal, we couldn’t save one little baby boy for our closest ally. I know there’s more to it than that, but is there, really? Did we come to the aid of that baby boy at all? Could we have threatened to drop a nuclear bomb on Mecca if all the hostages weren’t returned and the Muslims in Gaza would turn in those animals who partook in that raid on October 7th? We should have done and said something instead of watching the antics of the Muslims from Minneapolis to Gaza.
“This is what I think: every Muslim, from Indonesia to Morocco, just by being a Muslim, has become, by association, an accessory to the wanton deliberate murder of that innocent baby boy. Did I say he was innocent? That I most surely did. What possible crime could that innocent baby boy have committed to deserve death? Because he was a Jew? He didn’t know he was a Jew, or a Buddhist, or anything. Maybe he was a Zoroaster. Most likely he hadn’t made a rational decision of what religion or cult he wished to be associated with because he wasn’t even a year old. My mother was a Democrat and voted for Hillary while I voted for Trump, see?
“I’m not going to harp on the method of execution the depraved did on that baby boy and his toddler brother, but I want you to remember the names of Daniel Pearl and Ilam Halimi. Jesus never instructed us to go through life as stupid victims. Nowhere in the New Testament did Jesus say that any of us have to take abuse and death, as what happened to that baby boy. Now don’t be looking the other way, turning the other cheek to forget about it and to forgive the murders, those who cheered the murderers, and those who wave the Hamas flag on our college campuses and on our streets, right here in the United States of America. I want you to remember that baby boy and never forget him.
“I’m sorry, but I’m just not buying into the hype that everyone in the USA is to be treated equally under the Constitution, the law of our land, not if they’re a Muslim or support them. The murder of that innocent baby boy was my last straw, and my question to you is was it yours? How many little innocent baby boys and toddler boys must be tortured and murdered before you see the light? What will it take to become aware that’s your fate, your future to succumb to the whims of a death cult that believe only in killing, even stooping so low as to celebrate the murder of an innocent baby boy?
“Let’s start by sending a letter to Tom Homan imploring him to do his job by deporting Ilhan Omar and Rashida Tlaib ASAP. I believe we owe at least that much to one little baby boy who, of all of us, didn’t deserve to be murdered, to die before he had a chance to live.
“Let us pray: Dear Lord, we beseech Thee in our time of sorrow to render justice on those who wish to do us harm. You know of whom I’m talking so there’s no use in belaboring the point. Amen.
“Please turn to page 37 in your hymnal to close our rejoicing in the Lord.”
“Hosanna” (2:54)
“Alright, that’ll do it. Enjoyed the sermon, hope we all did. Goodnight.”
“Hallelujah” (4:20)
Roving Reporter