by Roving Reporter, ©2024
(Oct. 7, 2024) — “In the Year 2525” (3:20)
“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ the place to hear it here first. Professor Wert wrote a screenplay that was confiscated by the FBI and forever banned from seeing the light of day; however, a copy was kept hidden that recently came to light. Did I read that correctly? You mean, you hid away a copy and have it with you? Is that what we’re led to believe? What’s the name of it — what is it, a screenplay for a movie?”
“That’s right, Roving, it’s my screenplay for what I thought was a science fiction movie but, as they say, ‘truth is stranger than fiction.’”
“What’s that supposed to mean, that what you wrote is fact? Is that what you’re telling us?”
“At the time I thought I was writing a Sci-Fi script, but I’ve subsequently learned that I stumbled on fact. You know people kept on asking why we didn’t continue our space flights; well, guess what? They didn’t stop. It seems that the Russians, Chinese and the USA have been in cahoots to establish a moon base and have kept it under wraps for that past 50 years.”
“No way.”
“The lunar base is a thriving enterprise, although extremely secretive. They have it down to a science, I tell you. And you’ll never guess the reason.”
“Okay, spill it.”
“It all started as the steppingstone to Mars, but since then the code name has been changed to ‘Lifeboat.’ It seems as if the purpose is to always keep a population of healthy humans in the – they call it ‘Moonville’ – event of an Ebola-type disease wipes out the human race, at least there’ll be a safe human population to have our species survive.”
“How many live on the moon?”
“The ages are between 18 and 30. There’s no one on the moon that’s over 30 years of age, never. The number varies between 600 to 800 and it is always half male and female.”
“Wow, that’s a shocker. The live in Quonset huts or where?”
“Underground, it’s all underground so they don’t have to worry about the solar wind and meteors. Like I said, they learned a lot in 50 years. They even grow their own food, even have pigs and cows.”
“No way. You mean they flew cows to the moon?”
“Now you’re being silly, Roving. No, the animals are test tube animals. The moon people grow their own vegetables and even have a few bee hives. No woke fools and none of this DEI nonsense. And no Muslims, male or female, blowing the place to smithereens. No COVID-19 vaccines, understand? They only take people with brains and common sense.”
“This is all quite amazing.”
“It’s the halfway station to Mars and beyond, is what it is.”
“So, what happens now? I mean, is a movie in the future, a book?”
“The movie is out but a book is in the works. I even have some smuggled-out photos of the facility or, I should say, facilities because I understand that there are at least 30 underground ‘stations’ scattered all over the place.”
“This is all too much.”
“Yep, I think so, too. Pretty neat, don’t you think? Trump’s ‘Space Force’ has been a big part of it.”
“Well, Professor Wert, any last thoughts?”
“Well, as I said, Muslims are not allowed for obvious reasons.”
“Please tell us.”
“Because a long time ago, 1,400 years, the Muslims cut themselves off from the rest of humanity, and they’ve no one to blame but themselves. Believe me, nobody up there misses them. There are no security measures up there because there’s no need, not like down here on earth, especially since Oct. 7th of last year.”
“Alright, and that’s all the time we have for this episode of ‘Pulse.’ This is your Roving Reporter, along with Professor Wert, wishing each of you a goodnight: Goodnight.
“Good show, but man, what a shocker. Burger time: my treat.”
“Lasso the Moon” (2:13)
Roving Reporter