Eulogy for Happy Jackson (RR)

by Roving Reporter, ©2024 

(Mar. 30, 2024) — “Silent Night” (3:29)

“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ the place to hear it here first. Bishop Dunkin called to offer his condolences to Ted and Shemane Nugent in the passing of an integral part of their family, Happy Jackson. The floor is yours, Bishop Dunkin.”

“Thank you, Roving. This past week an American couple lost a beloved pet. Also, other people lost pets who were just as loved and will be equally missed. I have lost pets and have always thought they gave me more than I could have ever given them. I have cried and felt a loss so deep that I regretted a continued existence without the one I lost.

“At one time in my life I was volunteered for a humanitarian mission that ended in a fight for my life on a piece of ground in Southeast Asia. As I was crouched behind a rock, I remember thinking if I had a choice who I would want with me right then and there, who would I choose to help me out of the frying pan. No kidding; I really thought that. Superman was my first choice, but I had to discard him as soon as I thought it, for obvious reasons. So, I thought about it, for real.

“It was looking bad for my side, a bunch of kids as green as I was and a shavetail who wanted to surrender at first light. Sorry, I wasn’t buying that option. But that’s neither here nor there. I want to tell you who I wanted with me. I needed help, no doubt about it. I was outnumbered and pretty concerned about my immediate future. I’m not saying I wasn’t scared; I’m saying I didn’t have time to be frightened out of my wits. The overwhelming thought was how to survive this mess, and then it hit me: my dog. Her name was Candy, a Collie, smart as rain, and, by God, if she couldn’t be with me, I was going to make it out of this mess to be home with her.

“I made it back to ‘The World,’ safe but a little shell-shocked. And when I saw my dog, she was older and racked with arthritis, but her joy in seeing me was all I could ever dream for a homecoming. I had a knife at my throat when I was mugged in Hong Kong; I was shot at in Vietnam and there I was, home on the driveway, and I fell to my knees and hugged her like there was no tomorrow. You know, she was there with me, by my side, in my imagination, over there. Maybe I went overboard during that firefight, but when I was hugging my dog, I thanked the Good Lord for letting me and her live long enough for that one enduring moment.”

“The Lord’s Prayer” (4:24)

“We all have stories of pets, but a story about a dog is a little bit more exceptional, and I feel for Ted, Shemane, Sadie and Coco. Let us pray:

Dear Lord, please welcome Happy Jackson into your fold. Happy was loved while she was alive and will be mourned in death. We pray that you make her understand that her best friends will be with her some day and not to worry. Amen.”

“Goodnight but never goodbye.”

“Auld Lang Syne” (3:56)