by Roving Reporter, ©2023
(Oct. 13, 2023) — “Justice for All” (2:24)
“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ the place to hear it here first. Today’s featured guest is our favorite author of children’s books, Professor Wert. Professor Wert used to travel to all the corners of the world but has curtailed his sojourns drastically. Why is that, Professor?”
“Airports are like convenience stores and gas stations these days: too dangerous. You see, the bad guys know travelers aren’t paying attention just like when you fill up your tank: you’re there to get gas and that’s it. Most women leave the keys in the ignition; guys don’t. Anyway, they insist that you’re unarmed and defenseless when you fly, so I decided to stay home and hunker down and write something.”
“That’s nice. So, what have you written?”
“Nothing yet, but I have high hopes.”
“I’m sure you do. What do you say we take a commercial break? Be right back. Don’t go anywhere.”
“Foxy Lady” (4:46)
“And we’re back with a prolific writer of children’s books, Professor Wert.”
“Thank you for the kind introduction. I do my best by striving to do my best.”
“That’s nice. What project are you currently attacking?”
“I have my sights set on the State of Michigan, one of the most corrupt states in the Union, specifically the AG, Dana Nessel, an anti-Constitutionalist if there ever was one.”
“You mean she’s a flaming Lib?”
“Yes, she is, plus she’s been infected with ‘Trump Derangement Syndrome’ that appears terminal.”
“Oh, isn’t that too bad.”
“I’ve been told it’s incurable.”
“Lost forever, is she?”
“Brain-dead, without a doubt. They say she speaks in languages.”
“Languages? What kind of languages?”
“Well, for you and me I’d just have to say ‘indecipherable.’”
“Give an example.”
“I’ll give you multiple examples. ‘Russian Collusion’; ‘Birther’; ‘election denier’; ‘The Constitution was written by white men who were slave owners’ are just a few of them.”
“Yes, I understand now. What about weapons?”
“The Second Amendment was put in the Constitution for the reason to protect us from an out-of-control government or from Hamas psychos.”
“Yes, I agree. Hamas never would’ve attacked Israel if the kibbutzes were armed.”
“I agree, which makes our Second Amendment even more precious. You know, the bad guys will always be armed and to disarm the good guys only makes sense if you want to make the good guys slaves.”
“That is true.”
“I’d like to say one more thing. I’d give the mullahs in Tehran a taste of their own medicine. I’d give them Damocles’ sword. I’d say the next time they meet maybe Israel will give them a taste of their own medicine: bunker buster or maybe nuke ‘em. I’ll say one last thing: if Hamas or Hezbollah or any other Islamic groups harm one more hair of anyone, we’ll nuke Mecca. Notice to all Muslims: Stop your never-ending hatred once and for all. LAST WARNING, or just do it anyway because we’ll get to that point sooner or later.”
“Well said, Professor. And that’ll do it for this episode of ‘Pulse,’ the most popular information show in its time slot. And so, this is your Roving Reporter, along with Professor Wert, wishing all of you a goodnight: Goodnight.
“Good show. Burger time: my treat.”
“How Much I Feel” (4:42)
Roving Reporter
Good point on the warning of Mecca. Would they listen? The Japanese didn’t until after Hiroshima and Nagasaki.