by Roving Reporter, ©2023
(Jun. 23, 2023) — “Moonlight Gambler” (2:56)
“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ the place to hear it here first. Our guest today has been the fashion critic of one of the largest newspapers in the country and we’re proud to have her on board. Her name is Alexis Rudolph, and she is outspoken as well as on the cutting edge. Welcome to ‘Pulse.’”
“And thank you for inviting me to be on your popular show.”
“I read your editorial of last Sunday and knew we had to do whatever we could to spread the word. You had a terrific idea but I’m not too clear on how it’s supposed to be implemented; maybe you could clue us in.”
“Be more than glad to, Roving. We know how stupid the Dems are; I mean, not even knowing the Lord’s Prayer? So, here’s how we know who is stupid, who our enemies are: we make them wear a dunce cap.”
“No way.”
“We tell them by wearing a dunce cap they’ll be channeling into their Great Pyramid of Egypt.”
“And they buy into that?”
“Look, I told you they’re stupid. Pay attention. Yes, we did a field test of all the high school seniors of New York, Chicago and Los Angeles and they all bought into it 100%, although we did run into a slight problem.”
“Which was?”
“Well, we gave them a roll of tin foil with instructions, but since they can’t read it was a waste of time. We then contacted the prisons, but they wanted $15 an hour so we were back to square one. Then someone came up with the idea that a person with a brain could fold the tin foil into a dunce cap and give the cap to a Dem; that might work.”
“And? How did that idea work?”
“Pretty good; I mean, not all the people with brains want to give the Dems anything, and then after I told them the idea of it all it took off like you wouldn’t believe.”
“Try me.”
“All I said was, ‘target of opportunity.’”
“That was it?”
“Yep. So now we’ll know who they are, the ‘Biden Knights’; the loonies and the afflicted with ‘Trump Derangement Syndrome.’”
“Actually, I like it a lot. So the Dems will be wearing dunce caps? All of them? All the time, as a badge of honor, right?”
“Right. All the time.”
“I like it and so, on behalf of our guest, this is your Roving Reporter wishing you all a goodnight: Goodnight.
“Good show. Burger time: my treat.”
“Whispering” (3:41)
Roving Reporter
We can tell them an added benefit to wearing a dunce cap is that it will protect them from COVID. This will get them all lining up to get a cap.