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by Roving Reporter, ©2023

DHS Secretary Alejandro Mayorkas

(Jun. 4, 2023) — “Debussy: Petite Piece” (1:56)

“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ the place to hear it here first. Bishop Dunkin invited us to attend a PTA meeting at his church down on Hawthorn Street so let’s listen in.”

“Now those who failed to stand with hand over heart while we recited the Pledge of Alliance, you will be politely asked to leave, and if you make a fuss our ushers will tase you; fair warning. Good, now that the trash has been removed let’s get this show on the road. Please state your name and what you do in our schools.”

“My name is Dea Smith and I’m the school nurse for Washington Elementary over on Prairie Avenue. Not to make a pun, but I’m sick and tired of having to phone the parents that their child just tested positive for TB, or whooping cough, or diphtheria. We never had any of those diseases, but now half the school is in quarantine with no end in sight. We need help and we need help now. Thank you for allowing me to tell the truth.”

“And you’re welcome, I’m sure. Tell us about the ages of your patients.”

“I don’t know. They hold up ten fingers but who knows? High school students are young adults; junior high the same. It’s not good. TB is highly contagious; next thing to come down the pike is spinal meningitis running amok. The cost of it all is way beyond comprehension, I tell you.”

“Do you think the Biden administration foresaw the consequences of their open-border policy?”

“I think it was Barry Soetoro, aka Obama, who said he wanted to ‘fundamentally change America,’ right?”

“The child brings home viruses from school; viruses cling to the adults; the adults go out into the world and PRESTO! a ‘New World Order,’ made to order by design: bring America to its knees. But I digress. Tell us more, Nurse Smith.”

“Language is a big problem, so much so that the normal students have to fend for themselves. It’s not as bad in the rural areas as it is in the big cities.”

“Why is that?”

“Because in the big cities the promotion is automatic, that’s why. So what if Johnny can’t read; nobody cares, but now nobody cares even less. I didn’t think it was all possible, but it is.”

“You mean the teachers are teaching less?”

“The tests point out the abject failures of the system.” 

“We’re sure you’re right. Please tell us, in your opinion, what is the most to be feared?”

“I’m sorry, I’m not sure I understand your question, but I’ll take a stab at it just the same. The most destructive thing happening in our country today is none other than our own ‘Department of Homeland Security,’ fostered by the Department of State and over half of our judges who are a disgrace – forget their profession – to humanity.”

“Those are rather strong words; anything to back it up?”

“Nancy Pelosi’s ‘insurrection’ was when VP Mike Pence certified fraudulent votes. Everybody in America saw the fraud being perpetrated right there on television, for gosh sakes. What I would do is give the voter-fraud convicted a choice: blindfold or no blindfold?”

“That seems fair.”

“Now about those innocent people being held in the Washington, DC, gulag: replace them with the judges and guards. End of story. See you all in the TB ward. I’m done; I said what I had to say, so go ahead and fire me; I just don’t care. Or, to put it another way, I care as much about our country as much as Kevin McCarthy does. Now I’ll do a Lois Lerner: get up, turn my back on you all, and walk out the door.”

“And out she goes. I think it would be a good time to sign off: Goodnight.

“About those ‘Patriot Act’ laws: we didn’t need them then and we don’t need them now. Had the government employees done their job, there would never have been a 9-11. Can’t arrest and deport an expired visa-holder?

“I’ll tell you a quick story. I used to work in the maintenance department of the Palm Beach County Airport and the people in charge of security were the most unqualified and grossly incompetent employees imaginable. A security alarm would go off and the response was invariably, ‘Ignore it.’ True story. Burger time: my treat.”

Mozart – Lacrimosa” (3:20)

Roving Reporter

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