by Roving Reporter, ©2023
(Mar. 31, 2023) — “Trump Won” (3:30)
“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ the place to hear it here first. Back again is Professor Zorkophsky to hawk his latest soon-to-be another bestseller, ‘The Unhinged Among Us.’ Quite an ominous title, don’t you think, Professor?”
“For sure, but please call me ‘Zork’ since I feel it makes for a more relaxing atmosphere.”
“Will do, Zork. So, we have some unhinged people running around loose running their mouths on subjects they know absolutely nothing about; is that about the gist of it?”
“Yes, that’s it and I don’t spare anyone on any subject, starting with the stolen elections in our country, from the stolen presidential election in 2020 to the stolen governorship in 2022 in Arizona.”
“I understand that you explain the words ‘stupid’ and ‘uniformed,’ and you used the phrase ‘out to lunch’ several times. If I read my notes correctly, you used the phrase ‘loony as a bat’ in your chapter on Hanoi Jane*; is that correct?”
“Yes, there was just no way around it. And now that I think of it, that chapter contained the most approved psychiatric terms of any of them. Along with the others, a few new ones are used.”
“Such as?”
“Such as ‘Her elevator goes down, never up’ and ‘Her sewing kit contains no thread.’”
“And these are approved professional psychiatric terms used by professional practicing psychiatrists such as you?”
“But of course. Actually, the book could be used in any college as a survey class in ‘Abnormal Psychology.’”
“I understand the last Chapter is how to help those so affected by such mental diseases as ‘Trump Derangement Syndrome’ and ‘mask-wearers.’”
“Yes. The book comes with a free download of the 1931 film ‘Frankenstein’ to give the reader an idea of how hopeless it is to expect the lost to ever be found.”
“You have a chapter about child abuse and ‘trans’ operations, is that right?”
“Yes, that’s right. The book is how to define a mental illness and how to treat negative behavior. It’s a good book and I hope to make a movie of it someday; maybe Jane Fonda as ‘The Bride of Frankenstein’ comes to mind; Joe Scarborough as Frankenstein.”
“Sounds like a winning combination. We’ll take a quick commercial break now. Stay tuned.”
“Golden Years” (4:03)
“And we’re back on air talking to Professor Zorkophsky who likes to be called ‘Zork’ about his latest book, ‘The Unhinged Among Us.’ During the break you mentioned something about denial. Would you clue the audience in on what you said?”
“Be more than glad to, Roving, if it’ll help my book sales. Years ago, women didn’t carry (a gun) because they didn’t want to acknowledge the fact that America has become a very dangerous place any time of day or night, Ted Bundy taught us that. And even today women don’t want to carry because they are afraid of using it. So, what’ll it be, chopped to death by MS13 or protecting yourself? Taking a step toward safety is not admitting you’ll ever be attacked. I’ve carried all my adult life and never used my weapon yet. I took the dog out for a walk the other night and I said to my wife that I forgot my gun. She said forget it, I won’t need it.”
“I’ve heard that before, right?”
“’Better to have a gun and not need it than to need a gun and not have it’ is what I said to her.”
“Well-said.”
“Fact is, there’s just too many nuts running around loose; forget the millions of illegal immigrants, murderers, rapists, pedophiles and all the rest, including the ‘trans’ nuts**. We’ve given them enough rope to do in themselves and us alike. Never treat security as a secondary precaution; never. Do not drive with the doors unlocked; never tailgate because you may find yourselves boxed-in at the next light.”
“Are our judges and DA’s a problem in our country?”
“They are THE problem; nothing else comes close. Merrick Garland, the US Attorney General, is at the top of the list followed by Christopher Wray, the Director of the FBI. Send them to GITMO, but get them out of there. Others would be those in Congress who are working openly for the Deep State; names like McConnell and Schumer, for instance, come to mind.”
“Do you own guns?”
“I have a gun for every day of the week and two for Sunday. I don’t hunt but I protect myself from the bad guys. Remember that presidential candidate who, for a woman to renew her driver’s license, advocated that she had to show a loaded revolver in her purse? Everyone should have a gun within reach at all times; that’s what I believe.”
“What about Trump being indicted?”
“America is gone, and we have to get her back, whatever it takes.”
“The FBI going after parents attending PTA meetings?”
“The government is not our government; it is the Deep State, which is why you need to be armed, to protect yourself from those who would willingly follow illegal orders.”
“Couldn’t agree more with that. I guess there’s no sense in discussing ‘The View’ except to say if no one watches it maybe they’ll take it off the air. Good riddance, I say. this is your Roving Reporter on behalf of Zork, wishing each of you a goodnight: Goodnight.
“Good show. Burger time: my treat.”
[*Hanoi Jane: She wants to murder adults who want to stop the murder of the unborn. Now I ask you, is that nuts or what?]
[**’Trans’ nuts: Not a derogatory term nor one meant in jest; just a fact of life. There are but males and females and we do not embrace feeding mental illness with gestures of accepting uncouth behavior. Our enemies are legion and if we don’t have an army of fighters, we will then kiss our Republic goodbye and give it to a bunch of heathens who will first desecrate our places of worship and do the same to our tombstones.]
“PS I Love You” (2:04)