March 25, 2023
Dear Joey,
I hope today finds you well. I have been meaning to write to you for awhile now, to commend you and your staff on your superlative investigative reporting, which is synonymous with the iconic New York Times. Your laser focused determination to print honest, factual information puts you head and shoulders above the rest. I applaud your sense of human decency and ability to always show that there are two sides to every story. I can’t thank you enough, for the example that you set for the youth of America. Bravo Joey Kahn, Bravo!
Once again though Kahny, I have to be the bearer of bad news. It seems those right wing lunatics are up to their old tricks again. Yep, their endless congressional hearings, their mud-slinging, grotesque accusations and innuendos abound. Have they no sense of decency, like that which you and The Times exude day in and day out. Let’s take a look at some some of their accusations and see if there is an iota of credibility.
Like I said, right wing conspiracy theorists are always challenging the veracity of this administration, especially Joey Robinette himself. How they can attack a person who quite possibly could be the most genuinely honest and accomplished orator of all time, is beside me. Together with being a devout, deeply religious individual (self-proclaimed, much like the angelic Nancy Pelosi), how can anyone question his integrity.
It Doesn’t Matter, Just Say Anything
Well, conservatives have a much different point of view. They feel that the corrupt puppet occupying the White House and his entire administration, are corrupt, pathological liars—who know no bounds, and will do or say anything to stay in power. They site several examples of blatant lying and gaslighting. Let’s take a look a few recent whoppers.
Recently, bank records were exposed showing some financial transactions from Billy Walker who is an associate of the Biden Crime Family. It seems Billy-boy received approximately $3,000,000 from State Energy HK Limited, an company affiliated with the CHINESE Communist Party Why is this important Kahny, well I’m glad you asked. It seems soon after this, ole Billy wired over $1,000,000 to the Biden syndicate. Included in this payout were of course Hunter, crack addict/energy expert/military hero/world renowned painter (anonymous buyers, of course);his old girlfriend and brother Beau’s widow, Hailie; Jimmy Biden (the big guys brother); and another Biden, not named. Care to venture a guess who that might be Kahny? Possibly—Mr. 10% for the big guy? And people ask why Beijing Biden is so accommodating to the Chinese: never questioning them on the origin of Covid 19 and the killing of over 1,000,000 Americans; or the spy balloon roaming free across our nation’s military installations; or selling them gas from our strategic oil reserve. Is Joey compromised….c’mon man. Nothing to see here, move along.
I mean, is it possible that Hailie (Beau’s widow/Hunter’s ex-girlfriend) is also an energy expert like Hunter? You remember after he was discharged from the Navy due to using cocaine, he landed a job on the board of directors of a Burisma Energy company…..for $87,000 a month! That Navy training sure paid off, except for that whole cocaine thingy, getting in the way. Didn’t hurt that his father was the VP then either, I guess.
Well, reporters wanted answers to all of this. Reporter’s questioned the President when he was heading off to his usual 3 day long weekend at the beach (those 4 day weeks/4 hour days can be brutal). When asked about the over $1,000,000 going to family members, he replied, “that’s not true.” Ok, that is that then! He does get high grades though, as he walked in the right direction towards the helicopter, and climbed the whole 3 steps without incident. Networks were showering him with accolades of athleticism and such youthful vigor for traversing the stairs. Joy Behar had tears in her eyes describing the event. Reportedly, Mr. Behar had tears in his eyes also, this was due to the fact he knew Joy was coming home after the show.
Propaganda Queen
Then it was Press Secretary Karine Goebbels turn to answer for these transactions, and as usual she did not disappoint………..with her ineptness, that is. When posed with the money transactions to the crime family sorry, I mean Biden’s, she was having none of it. Usually, she just reads from her scripted binder, just flips to the right tab, for instance: Afghanistan debacle; runaway inflation; southern border catastrophe; Chinese surveillance balloons; Tara Reade (oops, not supposed to talk about that one)…well, you get the idea.
Well, she didn’t have her scripted response, so she shot from the hip. She said to the effect, “I’m not going to stand up here and address this now. This is an endless lie perpetrated by the Republican Party for a long time now.” Then finally, “I wouldn’t even know where to start.” Well, I’m no sleuth like you and your investigative reporters over at Pravda Kahny, but couldn’t she start with the black and white printed bank statements? The ones with all the Biden’s names on them—what do you think Kahny, you’re a whiz at this sort of stuff.
The True Kings of Propaganda
So you see Kahny, there seems to be a prevailing theme with this installed administration: Just say anything! Yep, just say anything, and why not—who is going to hold them accountable? You Kahny? Maybe WAPO, CNN, MSNBC, ABC, CBS, NBC? Yes sir, not a peep from you unbiased “journalists.” No, you’re all too consumed with seeing if President Trump had any overdue books he never returned in high school. Hey, maybe Chardonnay Pelosi can get the gang together and have Impeachment #3 going! Plus I’m dying to see if unhinged Adam Schiff, will be providing us with that insurmountable evidence of Russian collusion, which he promised YEARS ago…..any day now, any day. No follow up story on that falsehood Kahny…..shocking!
They have Called in the Big Guns
It seems they have been able to lure New York City DA Alvin Bragg away from the buffet line, to take his turn attacking President Trump. Ole let ‘em loose Alvin, known for his revolving door of bail reform (a big part of the mass exodus from NYC); who is well known for turning felonies into misdemeanors, is doing the exact opposite with President Trump……..I wonder why Kahny? It seems the fed’s didn’t want to pursue the case, the former DA of NY didn’t want to pursue it—heck, even ole Alvin himself didn’t want to take it on…..initially, mmmmmm.
Trump Must be Stopped at any Cost
The timing seems a little suspect, wouldn’t ya say Kahny old boy? Let’s see there are 2 schools of thought on this.
#1). It seems ever since President Trump made his intentions known, that he would seek the presidency, well that is when Alvin put the knife and fork down (momentarily, of course) and decided to pursue the case. I’m sure a call or two from Georgie Soros, or Barry (aka Barrack Hussein) didn’t hurt. Word is Beijing Biden tried to call, but he was found talking into the tv remote control, for hours. I believe, “Dr.” Jill, finally rendered him assistance, got him into his onesie, night cap and tucked him in, despite his pleas to watch cartoons.
#2). It seems there has been an endless conga line of congressional investigations going on, with many to follow I’m told. I guess it was things that ole Chardonnay wasn’t concerned about getting answers to like the weaponization of the DOJ, and FBI. Plus she had her hands full, bailing out Paulie Pelosi for his DUI, and then also when his escort service took a bad turn. I mean, when that bad guy broke into the house and attacked him…wink, wink. I think it was the same MAGA guy that got Jussie Smollett—darn MAGA’s. Do you think because the spotlight is being thrown on the corrupt, incompetent, installed administration, that they need a major diversionary tactic? Do you think that is why alleged multiple winner of the 76oz steak challenge Alvin Bragg is on the prowl?
I guess it is not fair to ask you, Joe Kahn, Executive Editor of the New York Times. There is barely a blurb about any of this in your tabloid. Usually if it is, it is to discredit the congressional committees as witch hunts, with sinister undertones. Always showing your journalistic integrity Kahny.
Beyond the Twilight Zone
I did just heard some encouraging news recently though Kahny. It seems the honorable Governor Kathy Hochul would like to get legislation passed— to ban gas stoves in new buildings by 2025, and new HOUSES by 2026, in New York State. That is fantastic news. Now, besides having parents dragged out or arrested from school board meetings over their children’s indoctrinating curriculum, labeling them domestic terrorists, we have this weapon— I mean solution. Maybe, we could have Merrick Garland have the FBI raid homes and start ripping out gas stoves—of course, this would apply to conservative households initially. I mean, why should she worry about rampant violent crime; ludicrous bail reform; shoplifting going unimpeded; people being flung in front of subway trains; out of control homelessness/mental illness; illegal immigration exploding—putting enormous strain on schools and healthcare facilities……obviously, the most pressing issue is gas stoves! Now, if we could only get China, India, and Russia to stop burning fossil fuels, we would be in great shape. I can’t understand why people are leaving New York in droves, it’s mind boggling.
Back to Gaslighting
Well Joey Kahn, I’ll let you get back to projecting, omitting, diverting, and of course lying in your tabloid, to what is actually going on. C’mon man there is a ton of gaslighting you have to do to cover for the real domestic terrorists, the ones installed to bring down, I mean lead our country. I’m sure Barry is smiling, sitting on a lounger, next to Michael at one of his seaside estates, doing his 3rd term by proxy. I look forward to tomorrows tabloid, and it’s 8-10 articles on President Trump—while ghosting the name Biden and the failed policies and corruption. You’re a good little servant for the cause Joey Kahn, yep, there’s that journalistic integrity we always talk about. Remember, the Old Gray Lady’s mantra—printing all the propaganda, that is fit to print.
Sincerely,
Chris Cirino
—————–
Chris Cirino is a retired New York City fireman who has taken to satire to address the problems he sees in politics and government. Perhaps in a glimpse of things to come, he was named “class wit” in his Catholic elementary graduating class of 1975. Prior to joining the NYFD, he worked for Local Union #25 IBEW.