by Roving Reporter, ©2022
(Nov. 15, 2022) — “I’m Stickin’ With You” (2:07)
WANTED: Make extra cash money if you have never served in the military, non-religious and non-patriotic. Need to run fraudulent ballots beyond city limits, county, and state lines; no restrictions; ability to keep your mouth shut; bonus paid to politicians and county election officials. Apply at DNC* or RNC** sites under, ‘Keep Our Elections Secure!’
“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ the place to hear it here first. Today’s guest needs no introduction, our very own intrepid explorer, Professor Wert. Welcome back to ‘Pulse,’ Professor.”
“And so very glad to be back after my long and arduous search for a refuge from the ‘Deep State.’”
“Well, don’t keep us in suspense; did you find it?”
“No, it’s a fantasy, just like ‘Wonderland’ and ‘Shangri-La,’ I’m sorry to report. I looked everywhere, from deep in the Amazon to isolated islands in the South Pacific. It just doesn’t exist except right in the USA, and that’s the truth.”
“The moon?”
“I forgot about the moon, sorry.”
“No need. So, what else?”
“I’ve been writing children’s books on the ‘Ten Commandments,’ one book for each commandment. My latest has to do with ‘Thou shalt not steal,’ a hard sell these days. Not only do you have your corner liquor store and gasoline station, but nowadays you have ‘honest and secure elections’ to boot.”
“’Ever?’”
“Oh, sorry: ‘most secure elections ever.’”
“So, you wrote a book about it?”
“Actually just pasted some dialog from CNN and ‘The View,’ and that was all she took.”
“Any opinion on Arizona?”
“Look, people in Arizona did NOT vote for open borders; are we clear on that?”
“Perfectly.”
“I rest my case. End of story: time to, well, there’s nothing left to lose, is there?”
“I suppose not and so, on behalf of Professor, this is your Roving Reporter wishing each of you a goodnight: Goodnight.
“Good show; depressing, but good. Burger time: my treat.”
[*Democrat National Committee.]
[**Republican National Committee.]
“Handle With Care” (3:17)
Roving Reporter