From: Chris Cirino
Date: August 15, 2022 at 7:59:47 AM EDT
Cc: email@example.com, firstname.lastname@example.org, email@example.com, firstname.lastname@example.org
Subject: Is the FBI politicized: C’mon man!
Good day Kahny,
I hope today finds you well at your desk, as the Executive Editor at that beacon of truthful reporting, the iconic NY Times. Wow, so much has transpired since we last spoke. I believe last time we spoke was around the 4th of July holiday. I know you’re not to big a fan of that one Kahny, as you are a big supporter of the CCP, as displayed by your publicity shots. You remember those right? You in your stocking feet, reading Pravda on your office floor, with your CCP coffee cup. I’m just curious, has anyone been fired yet for running with that idea…..ouch! I digress, last time we spoke, we were talking about the 1/6 reality show produced by Chardonnay Pelosi and company. Much has happened since then, let’s take a look.
The Mission is to Get Trump!
Personally, I agree with other liberals, as I don’t believe enough time and TAXPAYER money has been spent yet on prosecuting elected President Trump. I think he is getting off the hook rather lightly, wouldn’t you agree, stocking feet? I’m appalled at your tabloid though, because every once in a while there has been a negative article about Joey Bidenflation. We should be concentrating on putting out the usual 8-10 articles attacking President Trump; not attacking the greatest puppet, since Jimmy Carter. Has the radical right infiltrated your own newsroom Kahny! Or, is there a change in the works? We reached out to Barry Soetoro aka Barack Hussein to inquire about this but he was busy sailing off the coast of his Martha’s Vineyard estate. No wait, it might have been that he was surfing off his Hawaiian Island coastal estate. No, no I think he was just relaxing at his Washington mansion, with Michael (word is he gets his stock tips from Chardonnay and big Paulie Pelosi), hence the multiple mansions.
Anyway, we couldn’t reach the great unifier to see if the shift away from Brandon is in the works.
How Conservatives (and most people) See Things
Now back to President Trump. It appears Conservatives have a different take on things Kahny. It seems the latest attempt to get justice was to have the FBI raid his personal residence in Florida, and their decision to do so is just a little bit suspect. I believe the latest was something about him holding classified nuclear secrets (to work with Putin, of course). Seems reasonable right Kahny? We got him this time!
Propaganda at its Finest
Conservatives point out these facts : two bogus debunked impeachments, wasn’t enough. Nonstop propaganda for 6 years by such stalwarts of journalistic integrity like your tabloid Pravda, WAPO, CNN, MSNBC, ABC NBC, CBS and the like, wasn’t enough. How about the Russian collusion hoax for over 3 years, which led back to Hildabeast Clinton, that wasn’t enough. How about your former hero (and one time potential candidate for Democratic nomination to be president) Michael Avenatti and his client Stormy Daniels. That is the same Michael Avenatti who is currently serving time in prison. The censorship by social media to address Hunter Biden’s (former crack addict/energy expert, who is now a world famous artist) laptop. Claiming said laptop was Russian disinformation, which as we ALL know now was a lie, that wasn’t enough. The AG Billy Barr, sitting on this information, saying “he didn’t want to influence an election.“ Well Billy Boy you definitely did, you and Georgie Soros, Billy Gates, and some 2,000 mules.
Let’s Plan some Anarchy
Let’s look at some other events. How about, “mostly peaceful riots,” in Democratic bastions for a year straight leading up to the 2020 election, to project anarchy. Funny, huh Kahny, no outrage or disharmony since the Liar-in-Chief was installed………simply amazing. Look at all the money Georgie Soros has saved, by not having to recruit protestors, good for him. How about “Dr.” Fraudci and and the well orchestrated plandemic, and mandated “vaccine.” Remember Kahny, there is no autoimmunity, social distancing, masks, the “plandemic of the unvaccinated.” All now debunked. But it sure did facilitate the very trustworthy mail in voting agenda. Even the vegetable occupying the White House has gotten it…..TWICE, and this buffoon had both shots and 2 boosters. I‘m surprised Joey didn’t just take Covid behind the gym and beat the hell out of it. Don’t you just love Joey’s little fairytales Kahny?
Andy Cuomo: A Heart of Gold
Let’s not forget Democratic cities extended shutdowns to cripple the economy and kill small businesses. You know, like Andy “I sexually harass women, because I’m Italian” Cuomo did. This of course was when he wasn’t busy sending seniors to their deaths instead of using a Navy hospital ship—you know, just to spite President Trump. Ah, what’s a few old people dying in order spite Trump, oh I don’t know, some estimate 15,000. But ole Andy said he wouldn’t put his dear sweet Mother Matilda in senior facilities due to the virus, saying this 2 MONTHS before his March 2020 directive barring said places from turning away infected hospital patients from being admitted to these facilities. What a sweet conscientious son little Andy is, brings a tear to my eye. We all know now that these extended shutdowns did nothing, except try and portray a nation in turmoil in an election year.
A Special Shout Out to Pravda (NY Times)
It all seemed like a well thought out coordinated attack. Most Americans believe these are the kinds of coordinated attacks that would come from our enemies……..not from our OWN country. Evidently, a majority of American people have found out they’ve been wrong. Conservatives point out that the media played a major part in where we are today stocking feet Kahn, so I would guess AG Sulzberger (your publisher at Pravda) owes you a big bonus for your objective, unbiased and apolitical (wink, wink) reporting. Such journalistic integrity! Always remember, President Trump is a racist!
The White House does it’s Best Sgt. Shultz: “I Know Nothing”
But, we have a whole new chapter to add to this disgrace of a regime under the installed puppet. We now have brown shirts, I’m sorry the FBI raiding a former Presidents house over a year and a half after he left office. Apparently, the White House knew nothing of this raid.
I’m back Kahny, I had to take a break to clean the coffee off my floor, after it came shooting out of my nose, due to laughing. Conservatives want to know, if this installed administration thinks the American people are as mentally addled as the sock puppet Brandon? Just wait until they add those 87,000 ARMED IRS agents.
“Dr.” Jilly Bean Expands her Wardrobe
What was it again classified nuclear secrets? Too, too funny. What are they worried about, General “treason is my game” Milley will give a heads up to China (Joey’s pals) or any other enemies for that matter. Or, was that only in place when elected President Trump was in office and now rescinded under the houseplant installed in the White House. Rumor is they raided Melania’s wardrobe, so they could get “Dr.” Jilly bean some tasteful dresses. She has been getting flak for dressing up in Thanksgiving tablecloths. Word on the street is Target and Kohls are running low ahead of the holidays due to her constant demand.
So, you can see Kahny, why America is a tad suspect about this latest charade….just a tad. Well, we’ll have to see what the brown shirts (sorry, I keep doing that), the FBI plant, I mean find, in these boxes. Early reports are one of the larger boxes contained Jimmy Hoffa, but that hasn’t been confirmed yet. I always knew it had to be President Trump, I just knew it. Word is Jeffery Toobin formally of CNN was rushing there to confirm, but was busy right now on a zoom call.
The Possibilities are Endless
This story will have to do until Chardonnay’s kangaroo court starts up again next month. Wow, right before the midterms, incredible timing, huh (wink, wink). This was losing steam anyway Kahny, hence the raid ordered by Merrick Garland, and the warrant signed off on by highly reputable (Barry/Barack Hussein supporter/donator) “Judge” Reinhardt. I don’t know what we’ll do if this last coup fails. What can we blame him for next—the Brinks job, Patty Hearst kidnapping, the Manson murders, the Hindenburg, the Titanic? Ya see stocking feet Kahn, the possibilities are endless. Who says the DOJ and the FBI, are being politicized and weaponized……….that is just crazy talk!
Well, Kahny some of these things do seem to be ridiculous accusations…..sort of like your NY Times reporting style. What was that again, “printing all the news fit to print,” the mantra of your tabloid…..you know Kahny, that may be the funniest and most ridiculous statement in this entire letter. Talk to you soon buddy.
Oh, one more tidbit: Brandon says inflation is now 0%. Financial networks and economists still have it at 8.5%. Oh that Joey and his fables, isn’t he precious. Funny no mention of this ridiculous glaring gaffe (lie) in your tabloid………..shocking!