by Roving Reporter, ©2022
(Jul. 11, 2022) — “Thunderstruck” (3:59)
“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ the place to hear it here first. Our guest today is Roy Dodd, who says he has a story to tell. You’re on; take it away.”
“Hello, Roving and all you viewers out there in ‘Audience Land,’ including those who read the transcript in The P&E of the most-watched information show in its time slot. Yes, I have a story to tell, a story of an American who was refused to be an American.”
“Excuse me, Roy, but I’m the announcer here; I am also the interviewer so take it a little easy; can you do that for me? Get on with it and just tell us your story.”
“Hi, Mom.”
“I’m sorry, but ‘Hi, Moms’ aren’t allowed; we’ll just edit it out. Just tell us your story; be precise and keep it short.”
“You want short? I’ll give you ‘short.’ I applied to be a poll worker only if I could carry my gun in the polling place and they said no.”
“That makes sense.”
“Not to me. I see cops carrying guns in polling places, inside and outside, so why can’t a legal citizen carry?”
“What they say?”
“They say cops are part of the government and you have to do what the government says you must to do.”
“Like get the ‘Clot Shot?’”
“Right. So, the ‘vaccine’ doesn’t vaccinate at all; matter of fact, it’s a ‘DEATH SHOT.’ You know our military is nothing but, well, you know the score.”
“So, they wouldn’t let you be a poll worker.”
“Observer.”
“They wouldn’t let you be a poll observer; what about without the gun?”
“No dice. They said they didn’t want people like me around. So I said, ‘You mean people like me who believe in the Constitution?’ That’s when they told me to ‘keep your voice down or we’ll call the cops.’ And then I said, ‘Cops? You mean like the ones who hide in time of trouble? Who have to call Mommy for permission to shoot the bad guys’? That’s when she reached for the phone, so I left.”
“So, no volunteering at the polling place?”
“Or anywhere else; I mean, I carry a gun to protect myself and everybody else from the bad guys, and Lord knows there’s enough of them around.”
“You got that part right.”
“Well, that’s all I wanted to say.”
“Okay, take care. Good time for a commercial break. Be right back; don’t go anywhere.”
“Where or When” (3:31)
“And we’re back with Samuel Goldberg, who has some new information. Go ahead and tell us now.”
“Biden throws Israel under the bus and what does Israel do?”
“No, what?”
“Israel is about to award Biden their ‘Presidential Medal of Freedom,’ that’s what.”
“You know, I’ve often wondered why Jews always seem to shoot themselves in the foot. They voted ‘en-masse’ for Obama in 2008 and again in 2012. What gives? And then there’s Chuck Schumer.”
“Search me; maybe there’s a ‘guilt complex’ in there somewhere.”
“Alright; thanks for the info. Here’s a quick commercial and then we’ll present our mystery guest who I’m sure you’ll want to stay around for.”
“Malcolm in the Middle Theme Song” (0:34)
“And we’re back for our last segment with our resident preacher, Rook Dunkin. Welcome back to ‘Pulse,’ the most-watched information show in its time slot.”
“And glad to be back, Mr. Roving. Let us pray.”
“Hold it a minute, can you? Slow it down.”
“So sorry, Mr. Roving, but that I cannot do, no matter how hard I try, which I won’t, so let us pray.”
“Okay, let’s do it.”
“Take off your hat.”
“Pardon me?”
“Show a little respect by removing your hat, please.”
“Oh, okay, I’ll remove my cover.”
“You Navy guys. Now, let us pray: Dear Lord, we understand that we are supposed to have good thoughts, but what is going on all around us makes it really hard to do that. I must admit that I’ve had some pretty bad thoughts about what I would do if I had a ‘DOUBLE ‘O’ LICENSE’ or if I could make myself ‘THE INVISIBLE MAN’ at whim. I’m afraid that I would go to Washington, DC, and maybe visit some really bad people, people who have no allegiance to the Constitution. And that upsets me, I who would like to follow in the footsteps of our Lord and Savior who died to save a wretch like me. Anyway: Amen.”
“Amen. And you know what? You’re right. And here’s another thing. I save my grocery receipts and yesterday I took a receipt from a year ago, a year ago to the day, and bought the exact same items I purchased a year ago and figured the inflation was over 21%, and that’s not including the cost of gas for the round-trip drive. No wonder my blood pressure is up.”
“Amen.”
“And that’ll do it for this episode of our show and so, on behalf of Rook Dunkin, this is your Roving Reporter wishing you all a goodnight: Goodnight.
“Good show, except for the bad news. Burger time: my treat.”
[Note: Hey, people, wake up. We’re going to have the same worthless county employees using the same voting machines and expect honest results? Who’s crazy now?]
[Reminder: Stay armed and remain proficient in your marksmanship skills.]
“Sherry” (2:32)
Roving Reporter