by Roving Reporter, ©2022

(Jun. 3, 2022) — “Good Vibrations” (3:37)

“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ the place to hear it here first. Professor Zorkophsky is back with us as our featured guest, so welcome back.”

“Never left. Why don’t you tell the folks that you’re recording two shows at once and be done with it? Folks, Roving is recording two shows in one sitting, okay? Now was that so hard?”

“Okay, okay. So, you wrote another bestseller.”

“And happy to report that it went to the top of the chart. In a way, I’ve been writing it all my life.”

“So, it’s an autobiography?”

“It’s what I’ve learned, and I hope that some young man won’t make the same mistakes I’ve made. But it’s not just a book and it is not just a play; it’s a combination of the two that I call a ‘plook.’ And it wasn’t as hard to write as I first thought; I just spent more time on stage directions and character development.”

“I don’t know, Professor…”


“I don’t know, Zork; it doesn’t have the ring of enthusiasm, adventure, and curiosity like your usual books, even if most of them are written for the layman psychiatrist. Let’s take a short break.”

Do You Wanna Dance” (3:07)

“And we’re back with Zork who wrote a plook. Care to share any tidbits with us?”

“Sure, more than glad to. I’ll sum it up for you: the grass isn’t greener on the other side.”

“That’s it? ‘The grass isn’t greener on the other side?’ Sounds a little lame.”

“It could be lame, but the journey is in the reading. Think of it, a ‘plook,’ and the first one at that, which is why the price is $29.99 instead of the usual $19.95.”

“Come on, you gotta give us more.”

“Okay, then how about this: your first love is the one you’ll remember forever.”

“I like that one.”

“That was my first wife until she cheated, so I divorced her, and I was the bad sheep; can you believe it?”

“That’s the way the cookie crumbles. You can’t tell everyone she cheated because that would be like spillin’ the beans; it wouldn’t be polite.”

“Well, I gotta go to a plook-signing so I’ll be off. Thanks for having me on. Bye.”

“See you later. Let’s take a short time out for a commercial.”

She Belongs to Me” (2:48)

“And we’re back with Phillip Morgan who is a bigwig in the Electoral College. Welcome to ‘Pulse,’ the most-watched information show in its time slot. So, Phil, what’s going on in your world?”

“We’re pretty excited about the release of 2000 Mules because we think there’s a chance that, if the falsified votes – all the votes that were obtained illegally during the 2020 presidential election – were not counted, then we’d be called to name Trump as the winner.”

“What do you think, legally speaking, that is, are your chances?”

“Getting better and better every day, at least while there’s still time to save the world, although there’s questions about Trump having the willpower to deport the illegal immigrants and the Muslims, each group which will never assimilate.”

“One step at a time. Let’s get Biden out and Trump in first.”

“Great plan, Phil, and will you look at the time and so, this is your Roving Reporter, on behalf of Phil, wishing you all a goodnight: Goodnight.

“Good show. Burger time: my treat.”

Silence is Golden” (3:05)

Roving Reporter

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