by Roving Reporter, ©2022

(May 23, 2022) — “When I’m Sixty Four” (2:40)

“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ the place to hear it here first. We’re at an undisclosed RV park on some nature trail and I spotted someone. What do you say we see what’s up?”

“Hark, ye over yonder.”

“Are you addressing me, sir?”

“That I am. I’m spreading the ‘Good News.’

“Don’t tell me: you’re ‘Saved.’

“No, nothing like that. It’s just that I have some rather ‘makes-sense-to-me’ news.”

“Let me guess: ‘When times are ripe, save for a rainy day.’

“That’s for bees and squirrels and such.”

“That may very well be but, nevertheless, it is good tidings to never a lender nor a borrower be.”

“So true if every man were an island, but we aren’t. We are only here because of those who came before us and didn’t destroy Eden completely, at least not yet.”

“Give them credit for trying.”

“You mean like China, only thinking about the here and now and not about who pays the Piper tomorrow?”

“That’s right. China, with its high-falutin’ 10-, 20-, 50-year global expansion plans, isn’t worth the rice paper that they’re inked on.”

“Not like us, we who incarcerate the innocent. ‘Insurrection,’ my foot. I don’t see Mike Pence or, for that matter, Joe Biden rotting in the Washington, DC, gulag, do you? And what about all those government employees who violated their oath to the Constitution for spying on Trump with this never-ending ‘Russian Collusion’ Disney ‘Fantasy Land’ hoax, ‘most secure election ever,’ and Trump-phobia malarkey?”

“And your point is?”

“My point, as you so eloquently denominated my topic, is to face the reality that the only solution when reasoning fails is to hit them over the head with a club; in other words, knock some sense into them. Excuse us while we take a quick break.”

We’ve Only Just Begun” (3:05)

“Okay, we’re back so you can answer now.”

“Never happen.”

“What, the club?”

“No, not the club. Actually, I like the club but, when push comes to a shove, it’s all a waste of time. Look, there’s no way that facts and reasoning will prevail with nitwits; that’s all there is to it. They don’t respond to logic, as in ‘they will not assimilate.’ They don’t want their ‘hearts and minds’ changed one iota.”

“Please explain.”

“Just this once because we’re getting off-subject.”

“Could have fooled me.”

“If a certain group would forget about the Jews* and concentrate on improving their lot in life without blaming strangers, maybe their lives would improve immensely immediately. Something to think about.”

“Never happen. Okay, what’s this subject you’re so gung-ho on talking about?”

“PTSD and divorce.”

“Let’s hear it.”

“It’s rather simple: the wife sees the man but the man doesn’t see himself, and no matter how supportive the wife may be, the hurdle the man must overcome is virtually insurmountable without the love of the wife.”

“But some wives can’t handle it, can they?”

“True, and rather than leave the guy outright in the light of day for all to see – ‘I’m leaving you because you lost any self-respect you ever had for yourself and you’re nuts, to boot’ — they cheat – commit adultery – which is about the lowest of the low, as low as being a traitor: ‘for better, for worse.’”

“You sound as if you had experience in these matters.”

“Well, I messed up; that’s all there is to it. Yes, she cheated, but I was a real mess and wasn’t any good to anybody, including myself. It’s rather sad that such as beautiful relationship ended but, because I loved her, I gave her the divorce that she obviously wanted, which really hurt. Worst day of my life when the best day was the day I married her.”

“But you didn’t eat the bullet.”

“Almost did, more times that I care to remember, trust me. One of the keys, or, really, now, the key is a sense of stability, and if the foundation gets rocked, well, it doesn’t take much of a push to go over the edge.”

“What’s the key? I mean, what does it take to, as you say, ‘go over the edge?’

“Not much; maybe a little bit of frustration at any opportune time. Heck, losing the remote could do it, or burning the toast. As I said, not much.”

“A short fuse?”

“No, anger management is not the issue; it runs much deeper than a superficial excuse. I believe it’s born of doing the right thing and finding out that it was all a sham, from the get-go, from Boot Camp ‘til the day you realize that all you were was nothing but cannon fodder. Vietnam, Kuwait, Iraq and Afghanistan were all one big joke, and that’s one good recipe to eat a bullet. But that’s all behind us now and just hope there’s no more meaningless foreign adventures that we must be concerned about.”


“Not our problem. Now, our Southern border is a problem with the drugs, human trafficking and the thousands of illegal immigrants; most of them are young men of military conscription age, but for whose army?”

“Okay, thanks for talking with me. This is your Roving Reporter wishing you all a goodnight: Goodnight.”

“Good show. Burger time: my treat.”

[*Jews: And Christians and Hindus and Buddhists and everyone else on the planet who doesn’t subscribe to the violence and the never-ending hate.]

[Note: If any of you see Mike Pence, yell “JUDAS!“] 

So Far Away” (3:57)

Roving Reporter

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