by OPOVV, ©2020

(Dec. 30, 2020) — “Maybe Baby” (2:01)

Here we are, back on guard-duty babysitting the same old pile of rocks somewhere in Afghanistan.

“I’m not sure I’m following you; how about starting from scratch and explain what you mean.”

“Basically, it’s like this: there’s this grey ball of tissue  — call it a mess of slime, seaweed and corn husks — and when you inject oxygen and some minerals, this ball makes electricity and it is this electricity that we call ‘thought.’”

“Sounds reasonable.”

“I thought it would. Now, this ball of electrical energy has to renew its power source and it does this by converting sugars and starches into the energy it needs to keep on getting more energy, and we call that living.”

“I’m with you so far.”

“These things that make energy and convert minerals to make more energy, for some inexplicable reason, decide to make replicas of themselves.”

“You just lost me.”

“I’m just telling you how it works, not why it works.”

“God does that, the ‘why’ part.”

“That’s right. So these living things communicate, or try to. They try and stay on the same page by using the same language, but even then it doesn’t always work. Actually, lately it hasn’t worked at all.”

“Give us an example.”

“If this were a sane and just world, those whose brain has short-circuited would be regulated into what is known as an insane asylum. Nancy Pelosi is a candidate, and has been for some time.”

“Who’s at the head of the list?”

Keith Olbermann is who the men in white jackets and giant butterfly nets are hunting for as we speak.”

“Why, what’s wrong with him?”

“I know, this Trump Derangement Syndrome is made-up, so it just goes to show if a person has this made-up disease, well, they must be really over the edge.”

“When they finally net this Olbermann character, what then?”

‘Then they treat him by forcing him to watch nothing but Hopalong Cassidy and Sky King reruns until his mind is unscrambled.”

“How will they know he’s cured?”

“You misunderstood me: there’s no cure for Olbermann; all they’ll want to do is to calm him down enough so he takes his Valium without making a fuss.”

“Gee, that’s too bad. And you say he’s running around loose, right now, as we speak?”

“Yes, so watch yourself because he has it in for people who revere our Constitution and for those it gave it their all for our country.”

“Yes, the unlucky ones. Anything else on the horizon?”

“Yes, matter of fact there is: why some of us will accept a lie while most of us won’t have anything to do with one.”

“You’re talking about the fraudulent votes during this last election.”

“That and every election thereafter unless we get it right.”

“Fat chance.”

“As long as there’s a chance.”

“Goes without saying.”

“I can’t believe we’re having this conversation. What a waste of time.”

“If you think this is a waste of time, can you imagine what Trump thinks? First it was Russian Collusion; then Impeachment and now the Dems are trying to steal the election. Imagine the shape our country would be in if it wasn’t for Pelosi and the rest of the Swamp creatures doing harm to our country 24-7.”

“What time is it?”

“Stand up and face south. Imagine due south is 12 o’clock and if Mars is at 3 then it’s time for our replacements.”

“Why don’t they let us wear watches?”

“Because it may reflect some moonlight and you’ll become a ‘target of opportunity,’ that’s why. First thing is to learn is how to find the North Star.”

“Hard to do when it’s cloudy or raining.”

“When you get out you ought to become a philosopher. Let’s meander on over to greet our replacement; keep it quiet.”

“Wait a minute; I’ve got an idea. Why don’t we net Olbermann and then put him in some kind of cage – maybe a Plexiglas box – and sell tickets to those who want to see him go completely bonkers when Trump is inaugurated on the 20th of January?”

“Maybe because we’re stuck on this pile of rocks?”

“Maybe we could have a pay-per-view thing; why not? We’d make a bundle.”

“Look: the idea has merit; it’s a really good idea and we would make a bundle but, unfortunately, we’re stuck in the middle of nowhere so shut up and let’s make it to the chow hall.”

‘Wait: so this Olbermann has a bunch of short-circuits?”

“Overloaded. Listen: when we’re born every brain has a bunch of loose ends and many of them make a connection when we mature; some are connected when we fall in love; and some are really disconnected when we have PTSD, but it’s up to us to make things right, to reconnect, if at all possible.”

“So this Olbermann is a loose end; what’s his excuse?”

“He has none, which is why he’s dangerous and would make somebody a lot of money for purely entertainment value. Let me ask you this: would you pay $10 to see somebody have a complete meltdown? Of course you would and then, to top it off, sell copies to mental institutions – like the VA – and make even more money on the warning signs when somebody is about to go to complete meltdown mode.”


“Full meltdown bonkers. Let’s get to the chow hall.”

Be Bop A Lula” (4:00)


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