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“THAT’S JUST THE BEGINNING”

by Professor Zorkophsky, ©2020

Screenshot: MSNBC interview, May 1, 2020

(Oct. 24, 2020) — “João Serrador – Kalimba player” (1:56)

“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ the place to hear it here first. Roving is on a well- deserved break, so I’m taking the reins for this episode where we have Debbie Stark, a well-known economist from my old university, to explain what to expect if Biden is our next president. Welcome to the show, Miss Stark.”

“’Mrs.’”

‘Welcome to the show, Mrs. Stark.”

“Please, Professor, call me Debbie, and I’m so glad to be here. I used to watch this show back in the days when you were on satellite. Now, to your question: what can we expect? Let me just answer with one word: Venezuela.”

“Could you make the answer with a few more words? I mean, after all, this is supposed to be an informative news show.”

“Inflation-inflation.”

“Okay, I think we’ll pause for a commercial and when we come back we’ll interview the plumber. It seems that the General had some blockage this morning.”

“Sorry to eavesdrop, but it appears that a tree attacked the sewer pipe.”

“Now we’ll take that pause.”

The Sound of Silence” (2:41)

“Okay, we’re back with the plumber, so, what’s your name?”

“My name is Dave, Professor.”

“Please call me ‘Zork’ under these relaxing conditions, Dave. So what was the problem?”

“Roots: replaced the broken cast-iron pipe with PVC; common problem, easy fix.”

“I wouldn’t think it would be so easy. I mean, you have to pinpoint the break, don’t you? Otherwise, you’ll be digging up the whole line, from house to street.”

“Not unless you make a dowsing rod. You can even use coat hangers, believe it or not, or sticks. Make them straight, about two feet long with a short 90-degree bend where you lightly hold them in front and walk slowly; at the point where they swivel and come together, that’s the place to dig. Learned that trick while locating underground power lines for FPL; it’s a last-resort method to use if all the electronic gizmos fail.”

“So if Biden wins the election, what do you think we can expect?”

“Well, now, combine the Paris Agreement with closing down fracking and the price of energy will skyrocket, then add restrictions on drilling and we’re back buying crude from Saudi Arabia. We’ll be lucky if a gallon of gas is less than $6, but that’s just the beginning: as the price of energy rises, so, too, will everything else.”

“That really sounds ominous.”

“You telling me? I’m retired and just work maybe one day a week now; I’m on a fixed income so an increase of anything affects me directly in a big way. Hate to think what the electric bill would look like.”

“So, by any chance, did you early vote?”

“Yes, matter of fact I voted for Trump and so did my wife. My kid, though, can’t seem to grasp that the word ‘free’ is really, in fact, not free.”

“Too bad. Well, there you have it.”

“Not quite. I really want to make it clear that Trump was right-on when he said that the stock market will take a nosedive if Biden wins, and that the 401K’s will do likewise, and we’ll see inflation beyond belief, and if that happens the construction industry will come to a screeching halt. Crime will soar; murders, rape and theft — from the presidency all the way down to your neighborhood illegal immigrant — will make your head spin since the police will all be defunded.”

“That it?”

“Imagine a jar of peanut butter selling for $50, okay?”

“Okay, we will imagine that but never hope to actually never see it, because we can give Trump another four years. And that’ll do it and so I’ll just say thank you for listening – or reading the transcript of the show in The P&E – and I’ll be wishing you all a goodnight: Goodnight.

“Good show and thanks for saving it, Dave. Burger time: my treat.”

In My Life” (2:26)

Professor Zorkophsky

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