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SOME UNUSUAL ADVICE
by ProfDave, ©2020
(Oct. 19, 2020) — Once upon a time there was a cannibal who had a stomach ache. It was a doozy: cramps and runs and nausea and gas. His intestines squirmed and swore at him and tied themselves in knots. Finally, he went to the witch doctor. Going to a cannibal witch doctor is a serious thing. It costs an arm and a leg – literally. It’s not covered by medical insurance and they eat their mistakes. But he crawled through the jungle and presented himself at the witch doctor’s kraal. The lady at the desk was not the witch doctor, she was just the witch. She made him fill out three pages – in blood. He read halfway through Cannibal Home Journal in the waiting room. At last it was his turn.
The witch doctor did what witch doctors do. He put on a scary mask, danced a ridiculous dance, sang a silly song, and intoned an incomprehensible incantation. Then he made the cannibal drink a loathsome potion and gave him two more doses to take home. “That ought to clear up this episode, but you must,” the witch doctor poked him in the chest for emphasis, “I repeat, you must stop eating people who disagree with you!”
Don’t eat anyone who disagrees with you today!
David W. Heughins (“ProfDave”) is Adjunct Professor of History at Nazarene Bible College. He holds a BA from Eastern Nazarene College and a PhD in history from the University of Minnesota. He is the author of Holiness in 12 Steps (2020). He is a Vietnam veteran and is retired, living with his daughter and three grandchildren in Connecticut.”