FAKE NEWS?
by OPOVV, ©2020
(Oct. 3, 2020) — “Girl, by string orchestra” (2:32)
“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ the place to hear it here first. We’re back in Professor Zorkophsky’s rather nice office at the university to congratulate him on yet another bestseller. What’s this one about, Professor Zorkophsky?”
“Please, Roving, after all of this time, you, of all people, should know by now that I like to be addressed as ‘Zork’ while I’m in my most comfortable tricked-out office. Now, to answer your question…”
“Excuse me, but what is this contraption?”
“Nothing much, just a double helix analyzer. You see, I have this theory that our cousins are chipmunks and maybe even squirrels and not orangutans and chimpanzees.”
“Now how do you figure that?”
‘”Because they store food for the winter, that’s why. And I’m working on the Bee Family Tree theory at the same time. You see, there’s a chance that we’re all one animal — chipmunks, bees and humans — but we’re just too into ourselves to have put it together.”
“And you’re the psychiatrist?”
“But of course. Now, getting back to what my latest bestseller is about, well, let me cite a few examples of businesses that had it made and then took a crash dive. Howard Johnson’s used to be a great motel and restaurant chain that nose-dived; Sears was America’s place to go for just about everything; FOX was the only alternative to the Fake News until, they, too, took the proverbial nose dive to be replaced by Newsmax and AMVO (America’s Voice).”
“Excuse me for interrupting, Zork, but Molly, our secretary, will be inserting the song, ‘The Fox (What Does The Fox Say?)’ (3:44). The answer, pertaining to FOX NEWS? Not much.”
“We’re back. So, tell us, Zork, how dumb can these people be? Why would someone take a going concern and then destroy it?”
“Well, Roving, as a psychiatrist all I can say is that there’s a lot of nuts out there.”
“That’s all you can say?”
“Well, if there was a direct correlation between brains and money it would be a breeze to explain, but since there’s so many variables, such as greed and vanity, well, there you go.”
“’There I go?’”
“Look, what do you want me to do, explain stupidity to you? The fact of the matter is most Americans can say the word ‘Socialism’ but couldn’t define it if their life depended upon it. Why, they’re so out of touch they can’t make the connection between Venezuela, Socialism and the United States. They can’t imagine any connection whatsoever; they can’t see the writing on the wall; the lack of even the simplest deductive reasoning powers to reach the logical conclusion that once our guns are gone, so, too, is our country. They think things will be the same or better, but never so bad as to have re-education and concentration camps. They can’t imagine failure and can’t see themselves as the cause.”
“Well, what is the cause?”
“It all goes back to education. You see, you and I learned to read books and consequently learned to think, reason, extrapolate and foresee the future.”
“Give us an example.”
“Easy: abolishing the Second Amendment is the same as filling out the death certificate for the United States of America.”
“Yes, an excellent example, for sure. Well, Zork, good luck on your new book. And let us pray that the president and the first lady be safe. And that’ll do it for us so let me wish you all a goodnight: Goodnight.
“Good show. Burger time: my treat.”
“Sun it Rises” (3:12)
Dear Roving,
Sorry, I misspoke. I said that “there’s a direct correlation between brains and money” when, in fact, there is no such correlation; none whatsoever; never has been; never will be.
The smartest person I know is an anthropology professor and he is far from rich; the richest person I know is far from smart.
Suffice to say: it takes all kinds and that’s it in a nutshell.
Please pray for the good health of our First Family.
Sincerely,
Zork