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by OPOVV, ©2020

“Protest” in Portland, OR July 22, 2020 (Wikimedia Commons, CC by 2.0)

(Sep. 24, 2020) — “Along the Navajo Trail” (2:56)

“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ the place to hear it here first. I’m at the General’s house and with me is Mr. Smith, who says he has a foolproof tip on how to invest a little and make a lot. So, Mr. Smith – if that’s your real name – how long have you known the General?”

“About ten minutes. Here, let me explain. I’m a first cousin of the General’s daughter’s best friend and I’ve started a new company that I call ‘PFS’ for ‘Protester Finishing School.’ It’s located in Portland, Oregon, for those west of the Mississippi, and in Portland, Maine, for those east of the Big Muddy.”

“Easy to remember if any of the protesters get lost.”

“A selling point.”

“So, how long is the course and how much does it cost?”

“The course is two weeks and it doesn’t cost anything; matter of fact, we pay the protesters to take the course. We get paid a thousand dollars for every graduate.”

“Who pays you?”

“Why, the man behind the curtain is George Soros, someone our inept FBI director should have deported years ago.”

“Or the Department of Homeland Security.”

“Or State.”

“So, what, you have a Boot Camp with tents?”

“We have a Boot Camp, but our candidates stay at local motels.”

“What about transportation? How do you handle that?”

“We teach them how to rent a U-Haul that they drive around for the two weeks.”

“Two weeks seems a tad long, I mean, I had no idea that protesting was so complicated.”

“It’s not, but the vetting process takes two weeks. Like, we can’t allow spies and during the first week we make them watch the NFL and gauge their reaction to fellow anti-Americans kneel.  Another way we weed them out is to play the National Anthem during graduation, and if any of them stand they are forced to run the gauntlet of spits, kicks and stick hits by nitwits.”

“So how does an investor make any money from this ‘school?’”

“Easy: by the looting. The merchandise that they loot is immediately put on the Internet for sale, no questions asked or answered. How about a $10,000 Rolex for cheap? All that money goes to the school and any monies left over are distributed among the investors, which, so far, are doing very well.”

“But aren’t the investors capitalists? And aren’t they promoting unlawful behavior?”

Empty grocery shelves in Venezuela, Wikimedia Commons, CC 1.0 Universal (CC0 1.0) Public Domain Dedication

“The answer is that they have no idea of the gravity of the situation here in America. They have this utopian idea that all will be well when, in fact, it’ll be LIKE Venezuela run by the Gestapo, with total allegiance to the State and none for the family, church or even to oneself. These people are so delusional as to believe that the Democratic Party does not stand for Socialism and Communism. Furthermore, they think that if JFK were alive today he wouldn’t be booed off the stage, heckled and pelted with rotten vegetables.”

“So they are really that stupid?”

“Yes, they are, but they see a chance to make a lot of money quick and don’t care about the repercussions; THEY don’t care about anything, really now, come to think about it. Selfish.”

“Are you describing yourself, by any chance?”

“I think I just may be. I think this interview is over.”

“Yes, I agree. Maybe I ought to put you in contact with a person we just interviewed who has a ‘Puppy Petting Corral’ business; maybe you could make money that way. Anyway, it’s time to say goodnight: Goodnight.

“Good show. Burger time: my treat.”

Last Date” (2:31)


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