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by OPOVV, ©2020

MaxWdhs, Pixabay, License

(Sep. 22, 2020) — “Petite Piece for Clarinet and Piano” (1:40)

We’re at a base in Afghanistan.

“What you all wet for?”

“Maybe it’s raining; you got a minute while I go back out and check?”

“That’s right; come to think of it, I do have a minute.”

“Will you guys knock it off? You two ought to get married when we get back to the real world.”

“Look, Sarge, what in the tarnation are we supposed to be doing out here in the middle of nowhere, anyway? We were told that this place never sees rain; maybe the meteorologist ought to look out his window.”

“Or his tent flap.”

“I don’t think so. I think they look at weather maps and call in the report wherever they happen to be.”

“Like in the basement of the Pentagon.”

“I used to live in Daytona and call a friend whenever the weather got bad, like on the TV when the East Coast was socked-in, and ask how he was doing. I’d tell him there was all dark green, yellow, lots of red with magenta heading his way and he’d say, ‘Wait a minute while I go outside and have a look. Nope; nothing but blue skies; no clouds and no rain.’ And I’d tell him about what I was looking at on the TV and we’d both laugh.”

“Then let’s call our weatherman and we all can have a good laugh. This place is miserable without the rain, so it rains and we’re supposed to walk the perimeter. You know it doesn’t drain water; it drains mud. Be a lot easier for everybody if it just rained mud to start with; skip the rain part.”

“Knock it off. Henderson and Jensen: you all got the next watch so get out there and watch.”

Henderson and Jensen pack-up and head out.

“Okay, off we go, and I sure hope one of those heathens tries to attack us so being miserable will mean something.”

“It’s a grunt’s fate to be cold, wet and miserable.”

“Just think: your counterpart, some poor swabby, right this very minute, is painting the deck of a frigate battleship grey while it’s raining.”

“They paint in the rain?”

“Trust me.”

“How so?”

“My uncle was in the Navy.”

“What other stupid stuff does the Navy do?”

“How about the uniform of the day is the heavy winter uniform when it’s 95 in San Diego because it’s snowing in Washington?”

“Are they really that stupid?”

“But not as stupid as the jarheads. During WWII the Marines were to storm a beach. The guy in charge of the landings thought it would be a good idea for the men to have fresh water, so he ordered a Second Lieutenant to solve the problem. It was a disaster.”

“Why, what’d he do?”

“He commandeered a bunch of 55-gallon oil drums, is what he did. Only trouble was, he forgot to clean them out so by the time the mistake was noticed it was too late: boatloads of Marines had to be evacuated because they were dying of dehydration, and some of them did.”

“So what did they do to the Second Louie?”

“Believe it or not he got a promotion.”

“Some guys are born lucky, I guess.”

“I guess.”

“But not us. You voting absentee?”

“Of course. But I’ve an angle.”

“Which is?”

“I send it to my mother; you know, in a big envelope, and then she mails it for real so it has a postmark from the town that I’m from. Remember the military ballots when Al Gore was contesting the vote in Florida? He didn’t want the military voted counted, so they weren’t.”

“But he lost anyway.”

“That’s a fact. Let’s see if we can find some of the bad guys.”

“Even if we had an ‘Open House’ they wouldn’t venture out in this weather; it’s too cold and too wet, even for the crazed fools. They’ll never get with the program, will they? This treaty thing with the Israelis won’t slow the knifings, bombings, the FGM’s, honor killings,’ and all the other rampages they’re so fond of, will it?”

“Not one bit; not even a ripple. Tell you what, though, it sure got the so-called Palestinians all bent out of shape.”

“They have got to be the dumbest group of people on the planet. They had opportunities to build schools and clinics and make where they live the envy of the world, but all they did was make a landfill, a garbage dump with not one school or clinic and no chance to ever receive a Nobel Prize for anything. They are, however, adept at how to hate and treat half their population like dirt.”

“You mean the women?”

“Treat them like dirt, but the real crime is that organizations like the SPLC and NOW know this but keep silent.”

“And in their silence kind-of let it happen, like in acquiescing the so-called honor killings, beatings and disfigurements. The American press ignores it completely, where it should be on the front page every day, just like they should show the planes slamming into the Twin Towers. Make no mistake about it; the murderous rampage that the Muslims started 1,400 years ago is still going full-speed.”

“About time to get back to the tent and let two other grunts take our place.”


Raindrops” (2:56)


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