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by Professor Zorkophsky, ©2020

Image: Morning Brew, Unsplash, License

(Sep. 4, 2020) — “Peter and the Wolf” (1:47)

“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ the place to hear it here first. By not requiring our young people to serve for two years in our military, we are reaping the rewards of complacency and, let’s face it, pandering to the lazy.  If you don’t believe me, just look around and see buildings burning, looting and crazed people expecting to be taken seriously.

“Those we have tasked with teaching our children about the history of our country have failed miserably, and there’s no place more evident than the students who graduate from any inner-city public indoctrination centers (public schools). Ninety percent of today’s inner-city high school graduates believe that New Mexico is part of Mexico, that the Mason-Dixon Line has something to do with Mayonnaise; and that Trump colluded with the Russians.

“But many adults are just as ill-informed as the kids because there are daily reminders of clear-cutting, from a house going up next door to a coal field in West Virginia and eastern Kentucky.

“I was watching the game when Kaepernick knelt during the anthem and I started yelling at the TV to ‘kick that bum out of there!’ but they didn’t and that was the last NFL game I watched. I’m in Spring Valley, Nevada, with Bruce, a professional bookie. Tell me, Bruce, what is the state of the betting industry these days?”

“First, I’d like to say ‘thank you’ for having me on. Used to watch ‘Pulse’ on the satellite some six years ago, but now I read the transcripts in The P&E and it’s not nearly as funny as it once was. We like to refer to betting as ‘taking a calculated risk’; somehow we think it sounds more acceptable.”

“And it does. So are you still a ‘bookie,’ or are you something else these days?”

“I’m an ‘investment counselor’ and my slogan is ‘GO FOR IT!’ I have a pamphlet that explains the ‘No waiting: instant payoffs!’ for those who win.”

“And if they don’t win?”

“I’m sorry; we don’t do negatives. In my world everyone is a winner.”

“Right. So what’s the status on professional sports?”

“Tanked; took a nose dive; here today and gone tomorrow. Nobody cares anymore, is why. These days the majority of the betting is on the high temperature in Death Valley.”

“So who is to blame for your business going downhill?”

NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell (Wikimedia Commons, public domain)

“I listened to your opening and I think you hit the nail on the head. I blame the person who wasn’t drafted or volunteered for our military; someone who cares about his paycheck more than his country; someone who has gone far beyond his capacity for failure: Roger Goodell*, the Commissioner of the NFL. He is the one person to blame because he didn’t do his job as a citizen; didn’t stand up for the anthem, the flag or our Veterans; and he opened the doors for the dumb and gullible to believe in the BLM nonsense which, in turn, has led to the destruction of our cities through burning and looting. Home values for any city are plummeting because if they don’t get a handle on mail-in-voting corruption, this country is going down.”

“What are the odds that Trump will win the election?”

“One hundred percent.”

“What are the odds that Trump will serve another four years?”

“Right now, 50-50 but going down; maybe by this time next week it’ll be less, and all because of mail-in voting. My wife is a computer expert and she said that she can write a program based on Social Security numbers that can guarantee the honesty of the election**.”

“So much for professional sports in America. Do you think it’ll ever come back?”

“Seriously? No, I’m afraid not. There’s just too many stupid people in our country; too many Obots; too many Dems. At least that’s the way I see it. Maybe people will wake up, but not anytime soon. As long as the mainstream media continue to support anti-American rhetoric — you know, ‘Rah-rah, Hillary and Obama’; burn the flag and loot because the district attorneys think the thieves are ‘deserving’ — and as long as the nonsense of BLM goes on, our country will continue to slide downhill, make no mistake about it.”

“Well, thank you for taking the time to talk with us. By the way, are you serious about your wife writing a program that can guarantee one vote for a specific SS number? Well, if that’s the case, someone tell the attorney general and then maybe Trump has a chance to serve as president for the next four years. Good show: Goodnight. Burger time: my treat.”

[*Roger Goodell: and even after all this time, he still doesn’t get it; hasn’t a clue.]

[** Voting assurance through Social Security numbers to prevent any illegal and duplicate votes. True: it can be done; the program can be written; and it can be done now. Contact ‘Pulse’ via the comment section in The P&E political blog.]

All I Wanna do is Play Cards” (4:00)

Professor Zorkophsky

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  1. I heard Mr. Goodell said; “We need a new audience” [for the NFL]. If he is referring to the folks the NFL are pandering to by acting concerned about black lives, then I’m afraid he isn’t going to get new viewers for his games; for one thing the ANTIFA crowd are mostly non-sports types, they don’t appreciate contests where you must follow the rules to win. And the rioters and looters with BLM are probably already NFL fans. But he can do public service films like showing the rioters, looters and ANTIFA how to fix their blunts with PCP and heroin; how to fix a hypodermic safely; how to use all sorts of weapons of violence and the best way to take down a building with incendiaries. I’m sure his audience will become much more exciting than just plain ole NFL football lovers.