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by Professor Zorkophsky, ©2020
(Aug. 31, 2020) — “Duet for Two Violins in A-dur WoO 34” (0:25)
“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ the place to hear it here first. It looks as if our television station is a thing of the past, but we’re still relaying information via the General’s shortwave set and the transcripts are still being sent to The Post & Email News. The ‘Pulse’ family is in good spirits, and with our editor’s guidance, we see a bright future for our continued success on radio and, of course, The P&E.
“Hello, my name is Professor Zorkophsky, a retired teacher of psychology at the university, author of numerous bestselling textbooks dealing with the many and varied maladies of the mind, and a rather successful screenwriter for a couple of Hollywood blockbusters, most notably ‘The Dandelion War.’ I have also collaborated with Madam Shylock in symposiums addressing PTSD resulting from combat and have received many awards, citations and remunerations.
“I want to bring to everyone’s attention what is happening in our country today, from a strictly mental-health perspective, since that is my forté. People all around us are becoming unglued; they actually think that Obama, aka Barry Soetoro, was a legitimate president; they think that Trump was really colluding with the Russians when, if they would just think about it for 30 seconds, they would come to the conclusion that Trump would be the last president any of our enemies would want and that Hillary would be the first.
“For the past three years all we’ve been hearing is that Trump is a racist, and yet there’s been no evidence brought forward to support that claim; they say that Trump is a bigot, yet without evidence; that he is Putin’s Puppet, yet without a shred of evidence presented. I even heard that Trump is being blamed for the Chinese pandemic and the forest fires in California, yet without evidence, laid out for all to see, study and reach our own conclusions. Maybe some of you made a mistake: blame it on Trump; heck, who needs evidence?
“I’ll tell you who: I do and you do, too, but not the nut cases out there who believe in allegations without proof. That’s like the Salem Witch Trials: accuse anyone of anything and they have to prove their innocence, not you proving them guilty. Accuse Madam Shylock of causing tornadoes or maybe even a hurricane, and then ask her to prove that she did not make a tornado. Guess what? You just convicted an innocent woman, because Madam Shylock can’t prove she did not make a tornado any more than any of us can. Tell you what, though, if any of us could make it rain, don’t you think we be out West putting out the forest fires?
“The MSM — Main Stream Media — has the country so wound up, so full of unrequited fulfillment, so full of make-believe Hollywood fantasy, so full of hate that the Democrats actually believe in the falsehoods, deceptions and the outright lies. It’s gotten to the point where they are lashing out at anything that may burst their bubble of make-believe, acting like children afraid to learn the truth about having to be responsible whenever a lie is told, or continuing to believe in the lie even after they learn the truth.
“So this is what I am saying: I am using my exalted platform to demand the following:
“Any person in a position to influence others who pushed the Russian Collusion Hoax for the past three years publicly apologize for spreading the lie. And I don’t want any ‘Find it, section two, last paragraph, page fifteen.’ I want Chris Wallace, Joe Scarborough, Cuomo, Oprah, De Niro, and Maddow, everyone on NPR and everyone else, from television, radio and print, to come clean and tell the truth that there was never, ever any Russian Collusion and that all this talk about Trump this and Trump that has been, and continues to be, a big fat lie.
“I want you all to apologize, loud and clear and profusely, before some serious harm comes to, well, to tell the truth, the very ones who spread the hate in the first place. And we know who you are, so you can’t like run and hide, because it’s out there, on video, tape and print.
“You can’t throw crumbled newspapers in a corner of a theater and then hand out matches: you can’t continue to badmouth the president and then not expect some nut case to steal a MAGA hat off a seven-year old.
“We here at ‘Pulse,’ those of us who work behind the scenes and those who are conducting the interviews or doing the speeches, have had it with the Obama-lovers, the Hillary-lovers, the Democrats, the BLM and ANTIFA anarchists. We are done with you: you no longer count as responsible citizens of the Republic of the United States.
“You have shown us your total disregard for our values of hard work, thrift and saving for a rainy day. But most of all, you have demonstrated, by rioting, burning and looting, your total disregard for the GOLDEN RULE, and that is the one thing that we cannot allow.
“I have said this before, but I view an illegal vote the same as a bullet aimed at my head, and, as such, I have a right to protect myself. Everyone in the ‘Pulse’ family is armed; why, even Molly, our secretary, has at least one lightweight .357 Magnum revolver on her at all times, including in ‘gun-free zones.’
“So, as I continue to be frank, plain-talking, and to the point, I expect the MSM to get with the program to Make America Great Again, because if you don’t, there will be consequences, believe you me.
“There are, after all, consequences for starting a fire that you can’t put out. It is my suggestion that anybody who has pushed and is still pushing the false narratives concerning our president and our country start to tell the truth, for we all know what they say about paybacks.
“Been nice talking to you: Goodnight. Burger time: my treat.”
[A note to the wise: forget taking our guns. The Second Amendment is sacrosanct. That’s just the way it is. A good read on the subject is “In the Human Species, All Roads Lead to Insanity” by Ron Ewart.]
“It’s Late” (1:59)