by OPOVV, ©2020

(Aug. 28, 2020) — “Happy Days are Here Again” (3:10)

“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ the place to hear it here first. We were down at our corner this morning but it was as dead as any sport where the players kneel during our anthem. Even the trains are shorter and running farther apart: people are staying away from the city, and those who have to go into the lion’s den run the gauntlet in groups. Pickup truck owners are in hot demand because those who can are leaving in droves. I am now at the General’s house where Professor Zorkophsky is staying while he supervises moving his office – by the way, where are you moving your office, Professor Zorkophsky?”

“Please, Roving, let’s dispense with the formalities and call me Zork’; this is neither the time nor the place to practice any semblance of etiquette: we are living in trying times, indeed. This morning I had to leave my office-slash-apartment and the General who, as you remember, colluded with me to bring to the silver screen The Dandelion War, the popular story of fighting for the rights of what some consider a nuisance weed, while others see the beauty in a flower that attracts all kinds of interesting insects such as moths and butterflies. He offered me a place of refuge until such time as I choose the whereabouts of my next laboratory.”

“Any ideas?”

“Anyplace where patriots roam.”

“Good answer. Well, now, let me ask you about any potential bestsellers, okay?”


“Look, you may think you’re being funny, but I’m doing this for a paycheck, so if you don’t mind…?”

“Oh, yes, of course; sorry. I am moving to a place where the people believe in the Constitution and stand while the anthem is played for our flag. Let me show you my latest invention. See this box? It’s got two lights on top: one red, the other green. Let me turn the TV on and, watch, I’ll press the ‘mute’ button. See? The red light lights.”

“I’m beginning to see possibilities.”

“That’s because you’re a TV guy: sink or swim by the ratings. So, because of this device…”

“I get it: the signal providers — you know, cable or satellite — not only know which channel you’re on; this device will let them know if you mute the sound. You’ll make a bundle on this device: every advertiser will want to know if anyone listens to their spiels.”

“It’s like winning the lottery. I think I’ll charge them per-use, a fraction of a penny, for instance.”

“Smart move. Any bestsellers on the horizon?”

“Yes, the working title is ‘The Dream or the Nightmare: it’s Your Vote.’ I outline the second fours years under Trump or the next four years under Biden. It’s a straightforward and no-nonsense type of book and I expect I to do very well, at least in the Political Science textbook side of the business.”

“Any thoughts, about anything?”

“I’ll say this: ‘T-R-U-M-P’ written in fireworks was the highlight of my firework life. What a glorious end to a righteous convention; nothing but hope for the future; better times are ahead indeed.”

“Yes, I wholeheartedly agree: ‘T R U M P  2 0 20’, written in the sky with fireworks, was well worth it. Look, I think I’ve enough to send this interview to Molly, who will in turn pass it along to The P&E, so give me a sec while I hit ‘SEND’ and say goodnight: Goodnight.

“There: all done. Burger time: my treat.”

Maybe I’m Amazed” (3:53)


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