A Word about TV Commercials (RR)


by OPOVV, ©2020

Photo: Wikimedia Commons, CC BY-SA 3.0

(Jun. 28, 2020) — “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ the place to hear it here first. We like to think we deal in reality; none of this hype/make-believe hocus-pocus stuff. If we want any hocus, we’ll visit Madam Shylock. But we don’t so we won’t, but what we will do is ask this commuter what is his main bug of the day.”

“Main bug of the day, you say?”

“Yes, Roving here for ‘Pulse,’ the ever-exciting informative TV show; an expert on everything, because if we don’t know the answer, we’ll just find someone who does.”

“What answer?”

“You tell me.”

“Now I’m really confused.”

“Let me say that you are married.”

“How do you know I’m married? I’m wearing gloves; I wear gloves whenever I ride the train.”

“I knew you were married because you’re confused. Face it, married men are confused; get over it. Let me ask you what your main bug of the day is.”

“I have to say ‘TV commercials,’ the ones that tell us that  ‘we’re in trying times’ and ‘we have to hunker-down.’ When I see one of those facemask commercials, I cast my ballot by changing the channel. The weather station used to be my default but now even they have the stupid commercials, so now my default station is one of  music. Does that answer your question?”

“Yes, thank you. So, what’s your name and what do you do?”

“Name is Dave and I study the migration patterns of our large hoofed animals of the upper regions of North America.”

Photo: dennisflarsen, Pixabay, License

“So you, what, study deer and antelope?”

“Yes, and the moose.”

“What about bears?”

“Bears don’t have hooves.”

“Right; well, here’s your train. I guess I better say that we’re back on our corner out here in the suburbs and that it’s time for a commercial break.”

Gently” (2:16)

“And we’re back live with this young lady who — what did you say you do?”

“I’m a professional grader, I go around and grade stuff, believe it or not. I love to grade.”

“Good for you; who pays you?”

“Whoever wants something graded, that’s who, for good or bad; truth or consequences; for better or worse. Here, let me give you an example: maybe there’s a commercial that is offensive to many Americans; maybe the commercial has a woman wearing a hijab and the majority of Americans don’t like what they see, at least having this woman in their country. So the company hires me to let them know what people think.”

“And you tell them the truth?”

“Yes, I do, but their truth isn’t our truth. Remember, I used the example of the hijab, but it turns out that what they want out of a commercial is that people remember the brand, and that’s it. They don’t care if it’s right or wrong: all they want is for you to remember the name of the company pushing the product, and if it takes a symbol of the people who want to overthrow our country, to kill us, so what? Look how many believed in the Russian Hoax.”

“You’re a cynic.”

“No, I’m a realist, which makes me so good at my job.”

“How about grading ‘Pulse?’”

“You pass. And here’s my ride.”

“And that’ll do it for us, too. And so, on behalf of the crew, I’ll be wishing you all a goodnight: Goodnight.

“Good show. Burger time: my treat.”

Ain’t That Loving You Baby” (2:24)


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